Closed Worlds
by slushfox
Summary: Mainly a Dougie-fic. Boardingschools and love against all odds etc. Finished!
1. Intro

The thing is, almost all of my other fic's have finished, which leaves me with nothing to do. So, I figured, why not start a new one. Yeah, that's the plan anyway, I haven't got the story quite finished yet, but I just wanted to get it started, so at the moment, I'll make it up as I go along. I hope you'll like it though.

**Closed Worlds **

**Intro **

**Welcome to Wintworth Academy**

**School for boys and girls who's parents are to rich to raise them on their own.**

Well, sarcasm aside, its not as bad as it sounds… All the time.

At first sight I guess that this school is pretty impressive. Standing by the iron gates, yes we do have iron gates, the complex seems to go on forever really. Basically its huge, but then again, space is pretty much needed when you run a school like they do. Which I will explain more about later.

We reside in private rooms, shared two and two, and if you're really lucky, you might even get to share it with someone you actually like. It takes a bit of work though, but its worth it in the end when you get away from, well, some of the less well-smelling students among us.

Now it might not sound like much, but it is a pretty good school. Education-wise anyway, I haven't really decided what I think of everything else yet, and this is my second year here. But I have high hopes for this one though.

Most of the pupils here have been going to the school since they were ten and will not leave until they're eighteen. That is a long, long time. I cant even imagine spending eight years within these walls. I really cant.

So, why have I only been here for a year then? Well, my parents thought that they could raise me and send me to a public school, but then realised that they had money and could pay someone to do it for them. It doesn't sound like the nicest thing to do, but honestly, I don't mind at all. Just to get away from my dad and all his 'future-plans' for me is like the best thing ever.

The school does come with the school-rules though, or the eight commandments as we like to refer to them as. Obviously there are many more rules, you cant have a boarding-school without rules, but these eight kind of sum it all up.

**The school-rules or the eight commandments **

**1. There is to be absolutely ****NO**** contact between the female and male pupils. **

**2. Curfew: 22.00**

**3. Lights out 22.30, 23.30 on Friday and Saturday. **

**4. You are not allowed to run in the hallways **

**5. You are not allowed to have any food in your room **

**6. Your are to obey any teacher on the school-premises **

**7. You will be in class, ready to start, when the bell rings. **

**8. You must stay in uniform during school-hours, no casual clothing will be permitted unless on special occasion. **

**- Anyone breaking these rules will be punished -**

Now lets see, how many of those do we actually obey? I'd say about 7/8. I mean, we are boys so, its kind of expected isn' it? You might wonder though, which one of the commandments that we actually follow. It might not be the one you think.

It is in fact number one. I know, it is quite hard to believe, but it is the way its always been done here at Wintworth.

Girls and boys don't interact, it is as easy as that. We don't even have classes together. Personally, I just think it's a cheap way for the school to run two separate boarding-schools, as one, without the students meeting. I do realise how stupid it sounds when you say it like this, but honestly I don't know how else to explain it. It just works like this, ok?!

You might think that at a school like this people would have found ways to meet, but actually not. The strictly no fraternising between boys and girls policy works.

Despite technically going to the same school, we hardly ever see each other. It really has reduced most of the older guys to, well… less like guys. Their hormone levels are down to zero and stuff. Its quite sad really.

When they do get out in the real world, and they can actually speak to the other sex, I honestly think its to much for some of them. There are stories about boys who have graduated and then got out into the real world and turned gay, just to stick to what they have been thought for most of their lives.

The way the school-system works, older students can get appointed higher positions, if they play their cards right, and get to run around and tell people what to do. Its really scary when you give a 17 year old that much power. It cant really go anywhere else but to their head.

Or it is, as I like to think of it, a way for future, pushy rule-followers to get a head start in that department of their life. In fact I think that all the teachers at this school are former students. Hence the whole get-ahead theory. You got to start young.

Oh before I forget, I guess I should introduce myself. My name is Dougie Poynter and I am one of the proud pupils attending this honorary school. And I am not like most students at this sex-deprived school. I mean, I am a boy and well I do like girls. Didn't see that one coming did you?

I have gotten really used to not being around them though, most days I don't even see any. And I do realise that this is kind of going against everything I said before, but I can actually feel my hormones slipping away from me. I will not forget though, this school might want to brake me down, but its just a matter of not letting it.

I just wish it was that easy. The whole 'I wont forget about girls' theory, worked for about my first week here, now I'm just like anyone else. Girls? Nah… Not really.

I spend most of my time with my friends and we do our best to pass time around here. Its not as easy as you might think, but like I said before, we have our ways to get around the rules they so badly want us to follow…

I just wished that applied to the no-girls rule as well. But, hey, you cant have anything in life, now can you?

---


	2. Chapter one

_**Its not the entire chapter, cause im not done yet, but i'll have it up as soon as i am. **_

_**Chapter one**_

_**It**__**'**__**s in your eyes**_

The days here at Wintworth are usually quite uneventful. We wake up, have breakfast in the common room, and then go to class until 4, then its 'homework-time' as the teachers like to call it, dinner and finally sleep. They do feed us in the middle of the day too of course, and that is probably the best time of the day. For two obvious reasons, one its food and I love food, and two, its really good food. Its one of the things that this school actually have figured out to perfection.

But, I mean, how much fun would life be if you lived it by a schedule like that. Not much. I strongly believe that the more you can do that no one knows about the better.

The other guys are a bit too raised by the commandments though, I see it as an adventure and a must to try and break them while most of the others just refrain from it. See where the whole 'we shape young boys into dull, boring, I don't do anything fun-men' theory comes from. Its not just me, it really is like this.

Me and my friends though, yes, there are actually some normal people on this school, have the place pretty much figured out. We know where to go when you want to sneak away from teachers and which hallways are the best to run down when you're out after curfew. If you must know, it's the one that runs past the science-lab, brilliant and filled with corners and hiding places to, well, hide in.

I haven't told you about the school yet, have I? Well, its huge as you already know and completely filled with hallways, dark gloomy hallways, pretty much created to run around and do stupid things in. Me and my friends have invented our own ways to stay out past curfew, or hang out in each others room, and it is, if I can say so myself, a damn good plan.

All you really have to do is keep an eye and an ear out of teachers doing their night-rounds and then just avoid bumping into them. But its never that easy now is it…The night-rounds happen like every twenty minutes, all night, they really have people who are employed just for that, and even though it is a huge school they really are everywhere.

Up on the third floor there is an old classroom which used to be, before it got banned, a drama-studio. Oh, that's kind of a funny story really, they taught drama here for a long time, but after a while it finally hit them, its kind of hard to do plays with just guys, especially when you cant even put them in girl-roles. Eventually it became all too clear and drama was cancelled, I kind of miss it though, it was relaxing in a way, and very easy to creep the others out by suggesting that you do Rome or Juliet or something like it.

And this is the classroom that we usually hang out in when we get sick of our bedrooms. Its in one of the towers as well, which means its great for throwing stuff out of.

---

'Doug come on, we've got like 2 minutes to get to English, stop dragging that ass of yours behind' Tom's voice came from in front of me.

'Hey, don't insult my ass thank you very much. Its walking as fast as it can' I said back as I punched him on the shoulder.

I heard a loud cough behind me and when I turned around I came face to face with my head-teacher 'Mr Poynter, language please'

'Yes Mrs Adams, sorry Mrs Adams'

'Now, hurry along boys, you do not want to be late for class'

'Yes Mrs Adams' we echoed together before we quickly walked down the hall and out of earshot of her. 'Geez Tom, couldn't you have warned me or something'

'I didn't see her before it was too late' Tom excused himself. 'I promise'

I knew he was telling me the truth, if Tom didn't want to see anything then he wouldn't, he's stuck in his own world most of the time.

'Yeah, I think teachilla has gotten better at the whole sneaking up on you business, her shoes never used to be this quiet' Danny said thoughtfully.

'Maybe she finally bought new ones' I added causing everyone to break into a quiet fit of laughter. It was funny, but not funny enough to get detention for.

'Lets go guys, I'm not in the mood for detention today' Harry said in between breaths.

'But Harry, you forget, its Wednesday, and Wednesdays mean lines instead of detention'

'Oh right, yeah, don't want to do that either'

'Lets just go, the longer we put it off, the longer the pain will be' I finished solemnly before walking around the corner and in through the classroom door. 'Let the fun begin'

Oh, I almost forgot, I guess I should introduce you to some people. It just might help you understand a little bit more about this world that I'm trying to introduce you too.

First there's Danny, or chuckles as I like to call him. If you knew him, you would totally understand, its all he does, and then I mean literally all he does, everything is funny to him and when something is funny he chuckles. Day in and out. It might sound like fun, but at six o'clock in the morning, when he just found a weird looking crack in the wall, its not all that great.

And if you haven't guessed already, chuckles in my roommate. But I love him to death, in a totally masculine way, and despite his chuckling tendencies he is a really serious guy, who gives the best advice. If he wants to that is.

Then we've got Harry, the ruggedly handsome one. And no, its not me who thinks it, my cousin looked at our school-picture once and instantly labelled him as a hottie. Not that I find him attractive, no way… ok I'm not totally blind, I can see that the guy is good looking, but that is as far as I will go. Alright? Oh, just shut up about it all ready, I'm not saying anything else. Nothing.

Harry is the sporty one of us, pick one sport, pretty much anything in the world, and I bet you he will be good at it. He just like that, but, I still like him, he's helped me get away with a lot of stuff in gym, which I'm really grateful for.

And last, but not least we have Tom, utterly and completely fixated on star wars, but not in a dress-up kind of way, more normal, but still, that boy has a weird thing for those movies. Not that I mind though, he might seem a bit lost in his own world at times, but he is one of the best guys you could ever meet.

As I've already started revealing my nick-names for my friends, I might as well continue. Tom, or bleachy, has this weird passion for bleaching his hair, and how he's gotten away with it for years, I have no idea. Maybe the teachers actually think that is his natural hair colour or something like it. I'm just completely fascinated by it.

And yes, Tom and Harry share a room, which just happens to be next door to ours. How we managed that I'll never tell you though. It's a secret I'll take to my grave.

And then there's me of course. Clever, witty and if I can say so myself, pretty good looking. But I don't expect you to believe me, you probably only think I'm stuck up and completely painting a better picture of myself that there actually is, but so be it, I don't really care. Confidence is good for you.

Ok, ok, I do care a bit, so I'll let you in on some of my 'not so attractive' features too. I've got a bit of a hint of a dinosaur obsession, I talk way to much when you get to know me, and if you don't, I never say a word, my sense on humour is so weird, I think only three people on this earth understand it, but still, other than that, I'm totally cool.

My two years so far at this school have been eventful and to be completely honest, so very boring, but at least I have my friends. Chuckles, bleachy, handsome and dino-boy, who could ask for more?

---

'Hey Doug, throw me another apple will you, I'm starving' Danny said dramatically while still giggling at the joke he told us five minutes ago.

'Here you are' I said throwing it at him. 'But that is your last one Mister, you've already had two'

'Yes Mum'

Suddenly Harry punched me on the shoulder 'Dud..'

'Guys, Incoming' He interrupted and we all followed his gaze over to the grass area next to us and the girls that just sat down there.

'Girls' Tom began. 'Hm, is it weird that I don't know how to react'

I shook my head before answering, 'Nah, not really'

The other started talking about why and things like that but by now my mind was far away. I had my eyes focused on a brown haired girl sitting amongst the other girls. There was just something about her that stood out, and made her seem so much more than anyone else.

'Doug, don't you agree?'

'Huh? Yeah totally, sounds good' I answered absent-mindedly.

'Earth to Doug' I heard Danny say quietly. 'Dude, are you ok?'

I nodded before turning towards him, 'Yeah, I'm fine, I just…'

He flashed me a grin before leaning even closer 'Which one are you looking at?'

'The brown haired one, in the middle' I answered while looking down at my hands.

'Yeah, she's fit, I'm more into the blond one though' he said honestly.

I looked at him in shock, which must have been clear since all he did was laugh at me. 'What? Just because I'm not allowed to look, doesn't mean that I don't'

'You never seize to amaze me, you know that?'

'Its my best feature' he stated proudly.

'Dan' I began seriously. 'You know this place a lot better than I do, is it possible to actually talk to them, in any way?'

'Hm, you ask a tough question my friend. To anyone else I'd probably say no, but to you, I don't know. I suppose that if you are committed and willing to risk it all, it just might be possible'

'Ok' I said trying to muster up some sort of confidence. 'I'm going in'

---


	3. more chapter one

_Sorry its so short.. I'm focusing on this one now :)_

---

'Ok, warn me if any teacher comes even remotely close to me, I'm not in the punishing mood today' I said as I stood up, preparing to walk over to the girls.

'Wait Doug, don't do it, I can see it in front of me already' Tom began seriously. 'And to make it more exiting, I can see it in slow-motion with a hint of war-music accompanying it. You start walking, determination clearly showing on your face, people turning to watch as they notice what is going on. Suddenly the teacher-alarm sounds, the sub-sonic signal that alerts everybody on the grounds that rule-breaking is in the making.

People around you are now watching excitedly, but trying to hide it, since the whole punishing thing, you know' he continued with a look of concentration on his face. 'All of a sudden the sound of running, proper teacher-shoes is heard. Everybody's heads quickly snap around and far in the distance the growing figure of Mr Steadman is showing.

Its you against him, running and running. You are so close now, everyone is silently cheering you on, but unnoticed to you he is catching up. Closer and closer until he decides he is in fact close enough, he throws himself after you…'

'Oh come on Tom' Danny wined. 'You cant stop there'

'Alright, alright, don't pressure me' Tom answered before taking a deep breath. 'Harry, help me out here'

'Its close to the finish now, and at the moment it can go any way' Harry began in his announcer voice. 'Before the break we were watching young and hopeful Dougie Poynter trying to do the un-doable, but everything was looking gloom. Steadman had just thrown himself aiming for Doug's legs and it seems like its this young mans last seconds is coming up quickly. Over to Tom'

'Yes indeed, Steadman reaches out and suddenly the race is over. They both come crashing down, in a tangled mess, Steadman having the upper hand since his body-weight is slightly heavier than Doug's.

And that's where it ends, you face down in the mud, being pressed down by Steadman's hands, or his something worse' Tom ended with a shrug.

'Tom' I said still thinking about everything he just said.

'Yeah'

'You think to much'

'Oh, well'

'Is it weird that I am a little bit afraid that what he just said is going to come true?' I added finally.

'No' Danny said seriously. 'No'

'I have to go for it, sorry Tom' I excused myself, standing up again. 'I'm going in'

Then suddenly, the sound that can make all you insides crumble and all hope fade away was heard. A loud cough followed by the very familiar voice of Mrs Adams.

'Mr Poynter, My office this instant please'

'But Mrs…'

'No buts, this way, now!'


	4. last chapter one

_And the last part of chapter one. Hopefully i'll have the internet sorted on friday, so i can start posting more regularly again. _

**Sam **

'Look at that guy, he's in some serious trouble, I wonder what they got him for' I heard Trinny's voice say besides me.

'Mrs Adams looks really angry, it must have been something really bad' someone else added. 'What do you think Sam?'

'Sam?'

'Huh? yeah, totally' I answered quickly as I realised that they were talking to me.

'Sam, are you million miles away again?' Trinny asked me with a smile.

'Yeah, I was just thinking' I responded. 'But it sure looks like he is in trouble' I added, hinting at the guy Mrs Adams was walking away with.

The other girls giggled at something someone said about him, but my mind was still on that guy. I was sure that he was on his way over here, I noticed him looking towards us several times before he stood up, and I was almost certain that he was looking at me. I really had no idea why though, boys and girls aren't allowed to talk here at this school, why would he try and go against that?

That thought stuck to my head for the rest of the day, and whatever I did, I just couldn't get rid of it. I wanted to know more about him, which was weird to me, I mean, I wasn't even sure that he was looking at me. There was just something about him, something that a part of me wanted to find out more about.

Later that night I was sitting on the window-ledge in my favourite window, just outside my room, looking out onto the quiet night. I've always loved the school at night, I know that others might find it scary with all the darkness and echoes and stuff, but I just find it peaceful.

And its not like I wander the hallways every night, I just do it now and then, when I need to think or just be by myself for a while. Its my own little secret I guess, I've never told anyone that I sneak out at night, I don't know why though. But for some reason, I've always managed to keep this good-girl image, not that its really who I am, but everyone seems to think that I'm like that, so why not let them?

I guess going to this school for most of my life has left its mark on me, despite how much I claim it hasn't. It must effect you in some way though, living within the same four walls, and by the same rules for such a long time, its bound to have an impact on you.

I was still stuck on one thing though, and it was the same thing that had been on my mind the entire day. And I know that I am repeating myself over and over again, but if you were me, than you'd be doing the same thing.

Suddenly I heard footsteps coming my way, that's the only good thing about stone-floors, you can always hear people coming, and I quickly drew myself more into the shadows. I could tell that it wasn't a teacher from the bounciness in the steps, the teachers or night watchers steps are usually more rhythmic and military-styled. I remained in the shadows though, since I didn't really know what to expect. So far, during all my nights outside my room, I had never met anyone. And I was pretty sure that it wasn't another girl, but if it was a boy, what would he be doing all the way over here, in the girls wing?

I watched as the person come closer and as he or she passed a window next to me the moon lit up their face, and I noticed that it was the same boy from earlier. He seemed deep in thought and I was pondering whether to say something or to just let him pass me. I was still wondering why and if he had tried to come over today, and despite the commandments and stuff, my curiosity was currently taking over.

'Hi' I said quietly.

I stopped a smile from spreading across my face as I noticed his reaction. He spun around so quickly that he almost fell over, and the shocked look on his face was priceless, he obviously thought that he was the only one wandering the hallways at this time of night.

'Hi' he responded quickly as he looked closer at me.

'What are you doing here? You know that this is the girls-dorm right?'

'Yeah, I'm just wandering around a bit, pretty much ended up here' he said with a small smile. 'What about you? I wasn't really expecting to meet anyone else this time of night, and especially not a girl'

'Well, we do exist' I responded with a small giggle.

'Yeah, I know you exist, I just…' he began, 'I'm not used to seeing girls, ok'

'I see, I guess that's true' I said thoughtfully as I looked out the window again, not really sure what to say next.

'Mind if I join you?' he said suddenly.

I looked back at him before answering. 'Sure'

He swiftly jumped up on the ledge and sat down cross-ledged in front of me. 'This is a pretty nice place that you have here'

'I know, I like it, and the teachers never come around here too'

'Really?' he said with a surprised look on his face. 'They sweep our halls like every twenty minutes or so'

'Yeah, but that's because you're guys isn't it, us girls, well, we're much more well-behaved and stuff'

He let out a quiet chuckle before answering, 'I guess that's one way too look at it, but I suppose that you're right, I mean, the teacher-pattern kind of shows it'

I let out a small giggle at his joke before allowing the silence to fall between us again. It wasn't too uncomfortable though, it was kind of nice to sit there, and just enjoy each others company.

'So' I started after a few minutes. 'How was your day?'

'Ehm, it was… eh…' he stammered and I noticed his face take on a deeper shade of red. I smiled at his reaction, and after a few seconds he seemed to realise that I was laughing at him. 'You saw me?'

'Yep, So, was it because of me you got in trouble today?'

'You think highly of yourself, don't you?'

'No, I just noticed you looking at me'

'Oh' he replied blushing a bit more.

'So, what did they make you do? Mrs Adams looked really angry'

'Yeah, she wasn't too happy about me, I got lines, so much detention I probably wont see daylight for another year or so and kitchen-duty'

'Really? All that for just attempting to walk over to us?' I asked surprised.

'Apparently that is the worst thing that you can ever do in this school' he said with a light laugh.

'Hm, good to know, I mean, if I ever feel tempted to walk over to a group of guys, in broad daylight, on the field, in front of a couple of teachers, then its definitely good to know'

'Ha ha… very funny, feel free to take pleasure in my misery' he responded, in a fake hurt voice.

'Sorry' I giggled. 'It was just too easy to sit out on'

He let out a laugh before answering 'Yeah, cant really blame you though, I probably would have done the same thing'

---

We sat in the window for a while, just talking about school and stuff, and despite not having talked to a guy in such a long time, the conversation came really easy. It was actually quite nice to have someone to talk to, even though I didn't get my alone-time, maybe it wasn't really needed that time.

'Its getting pretty late' I said after realising that it was almost two o'clock. 'I should get to bed'

'Yeah, ok' he agreed. 'I guess I should too'

I jumped down from the window and he followed only seconds later. 'I hope I didn't bother you or anything' he said quietly as he stood in front of me.

'No, it was actually nice to have some company' I said honestly.

'So' he began, shuffling his feet. 'Maybe I'll see you around or something'

'Yeah, maybe you will'

I started to walk down the hall to where my room was, and after a few feet I glanced over my shoulder and noticed that he was still standing by the window, looking after me.

'What?' I said with a small smile.

'Aren't you at least going to tell me your name?'

'I don't know really' I replied. 'I haven't decided yet' I continued before turning around again.

'I'm Dougie by the way' he said quietly after me,

I turned around again and looked at him before deciding to tell him.

'Sam'

---

'Nice to meet you Sam' I heard him say before I closed my door.

Nice to meet you too, Dougie, I thought to myself as I got ready for bed.


	5. chapter two

**Chapter Three**

**But…**

_**Dougie**_

I woke up the next morning with a smile on my face, and…Oh come on, not that kind of a smile, you guys have such filthy minds. I was happy Ok. Last night was fun and I spent the night reliving it, in a completely non-sexual way. I promise.

With a yawn I slowly opened my eyes and focused on the underside of my pillow. Yeah, I sleep with my head underneath the pillow, its not that weird, it's rather comfy actually. After almost choking on it as I took a deep breath without thinking I bolted out of bed and only came to a stop when my body hit the floor, in a not so pleasant manner.

'Ouch' I groaned while rocking back and forth 'This is not pleasant, not at all'

'Are you talking to yourself again mate?' I heard Danny's voice say from somewhere behind me. I let out another muffled groan before rolling around to face him 'I fell'

'Must have been a good dream then' he said with a chuckle and a mischievous glint in his eyes that could have been seen from miles away.

'Funny, very funny' I huffed as I managed to stand up, rubbing my elbow as I did so, to stop it from throbbing so much. Danny got out of bed as well and walked up to me, placing his hand on my shoulder.

'Keep telling yourself that, we all know what you dreamt about last night' he said with a grin, which was suddenly replaced by a grimace of pain 'Ouch, what did you do that for?'

'You tease me, I hit you, it's as simple as that Daniel'

He nodded solemnly 'I should have known…Damn, we never learn, do we?'

'Never'

…

After a long, hot shower I quickly got dressed and then threw myself on the bed again to wait for Danny to get ready as well.

'So…What did you do last night?' Danny's voice came from the bathroom 'You got back pretty late'

'I know' I began, pondering whether to tell him everything or not 'I was walking around, like I always do, and then I just happened to stumble across that brown-haired girl from yesterday'

'No way!' Danny said enthusiastically while sticking his head out the door 'So? What happened??'

'Nothing much, she was sitting in a window outside the girl-dorms and…'

'Wait' Danny said, now stepping fully into the room 'The girls' dorms? What were you doing all the way up there? If a teacher had caught you, you'd be expelled'

'No' I shook my head 'Because apparently they trust the girls more than they trust us and hardly ever sweep their hallways'

'Really?' he asked, seeming as surprised as I must have looked last night 'Wow…You learn something new every day'

'Yeah, who would have known…'

'Come one' Danny continued taking a seat on the bed opposite mine 'Tell me more, tell me more'

I smiled slightly before answering 'There really isn't much to tell. She scared the crap out of me and then I joined her in the window and we just talked'

'Just talked?'

'Just talked. You can 'just talk' with girls you know'

Just as Danny opened his mouth to respond, a knock on the door interrupted our little chat, and seconds later Harry and Tom let themselves in.

'What are you talking about then?' Tom began in an amused tone 'You look all sharey and stuff sitting like this'

'Noth…'I began rather unsuccessfully.

'Doug here had a little encounter with a certain brown-haired girl last night'

'No way!' Harry said with a shocked look on his face 'How'd you manage that?'

I shrugged my shoulders 'I was just walking around and we bumped into each other'

'Did she scare the crap out of you?' Tom asked seriously.

'Yeah, but how did you know that?'

'I don't know, just a hunch I guess'

I shook my head, half amused 'You scare me sometimes Tom'

'I can live with that' he replied with a smile 'What I can't live with though, is his hunger, I'm bloody starving'

Following his statement we all agreed and walked down to the now semi-crowded dining-hall. After getting our food we took a seat at one of the more secluded tables, near the back of the room. While eating my breakfast I let my mind slip to last night again, and I couldn't help but smile. I had no idea why I was acting or feeling like this, all I knew was that I needed to see her again. Like I said before, there was just something about her, and having talked to her in person, well, it made it much more obvious.

My mind was currently working overdrive trying to think of a way to see her again. Last night was a lucky shot, but I knew that a second meeting would require a lot more effort. The need for a serious plan was becoming greater by the second.

…

I knew that the chance of bumping into her again was close to zero, if not even less than that, but what else could I do? With the teacher's watch-patterns increasing, as of yesterday I was certain that Mr. Steadman had it in for me personally. To be honest, I wouldn't be too surprised if he tried to put a tracking-device on me to make his work easier. One, Ok a few slip-ups might have occurred during my time at this school, but I wasn't that bad.

Or was I? The thought of it made me laugh and this time I couldn't keep it in. I let out a rather unattractive snort which caused the other around the table to look up from their conversations.

'What?'

'Did you just snort?'

'Yeah, I thought of something funny' I said with an embarrassed shrug.

'Like Mr. Steady putting tracking-devises on you to keep you from getting away from him?' Tom said matter-of-factly. I think my jaw had dropped to the floor after about half that sentence

'Tom… You really got to stop doing that'

'Doing what?' Danny and Harry said in unison.

'I was right?' Tom said, going from a surprised look to a pleased look in the fragment of a second.

'Eh, yeah' I replied with a confused look. 'Do you think him being able to read my mind means that we're spending to much time together?' I asked no one in particular.

'I'd say so, yeah' Harry answered before going back to his food.

'It's still scary though'

'Tom, Tom!' Danny said excitedly 'Do me, do me, read my mind!'

Tom gave Danny this look before opening his mouth to speak 'You're thinking about either sex, or how many Weetabix-bars you could fit in your mouth at once'

Danny gasped 'How did you know that?'

Tom just shook his head 'A true mind-reader never reveals how he does it'

As Danny got up to get some more milk Tom shot me this look, and this time I was pretty sure I knew what he was thinking too.

'It just doesn't get boring' I said with a smile 'No matter how many times you do that to him, it just doesn't get old'

'I know, I am so proud of myself right now' he nodded happily.

…

On our way to our first lesson of the day I asked Danny if he thought it was possible for me to see Sam again.

'To be honest, I really don't know. Last night was very lucky and you're still in pretty deep shit with Steaddy. If he catches you again, while doing anything that even remotely involves her, than you'd be done for'

I sighed 'I know that, but I have to try, I just can't give up this easily'

'I'll help you in any way I can mate. Plus, if you and her do get it on, you wouldn't mind putting in a good word for me with that blond friend of hers, would you?'

'If I do get that far, I will mention you, yes. But, there's a long way to go'

'Let the games begin!' Danny concluded and clasped his hands together 'I declare operation 'Lets get Dougie laid' officially instigated'

'Do you even know what 'Instigated' means?'

'Not a clue, but it drew you away from my name for the operation though'

'Which you just reminded me of, though'

'Crap'

The second that word left his lips the world seemed to stop. People around us were suddenly walking in slow-motion and above it all; the sound of screeching rubber could be heard. I should have seen, or heard it coming, but, then again, maybe I did and just refrained from saying so. Who knows?...Evil. Me? Never!

'Mr. Jones, language please!'

'Sorry Mrs. Adams won't happen again' Danny said in a quiet voice.

'I expect 150 lines on my desk by the end of the day'

'Yes Mrs. Adams' he continued, but the second she turned away his eyes said a while other thing. I wonder if I should be afraid right now??

**…**

**Sam**

When I woke up the next morning my head was stuck on two things, homework and, well, it's not too surprising, Dougie. The first dew minutes I wasn't even sure if it had happened or not, but, then it kind of hit me and I couldn't help but smile.

That smile soon disappeared though, when I remembered my physics-homework that I'd sacrificed for Dougie. I cursed under my breath while freeing myself from the covers and retrieving my book. I'd always hated doing homework just before class, it just seems so stupid, it's not like it's that hard to do it when you're supposed to.

At least that's what I'd thought up to that moment. I knew that it was wrong, but talking to Doug all night, well, stressing my homework kind of seemed worth it.

I was still pretty confused over the entire thing though. But, that's not to strange now is it? I mean, I haven't really been in such close proximity to a boy that I'm not related to in ages; I really don't know how to react to it. Why couldn't someone just tell me what to do and explain all of this to me?

'Sam!'

I heard a faint voice, but brushed it of as mainly my own wild imagination. Suddenly I was abruptly snapped out of my daze by a sharp pain to my cheek.

'Samantha, for god's sake!'

'What the hell! Did you just slap me?'

'Yeah, you were million miles away again. I've been talking to you for like ten minutes now. You made this little noise about halfway though, that sounded very agreeing, so I just assumed that you were listening but, hey…Does that mean that you don't think I should have gone with the black bra instead of the white one? Cause like I said, I though you agreed, but now, I'm not too sure'

'Trin' I attempted to say, but she didn't really pay any attention to me.

'And you know how much I value your opinion on these things'

'TRINNY! You are in full uniform; I do not think it will make that much of a difference if you have black or white underwear on. But' I said putting my finger up 'On the other hand, if you, by any chance, happen to end up in a situation where your clothes come off, than I do believe that black will be better than white'

'Thank you' she said relieved 'Now I feel so much better'

I just shook my head at her. Sometimes even I'm surprised at how easy it is to reassure that girl. Amazing really.

About five minutes later I gave up on my fable attempt at studying and resorted to getting dressed instead. 'Trin, come on, lets go, I'm hungry'

'But…'

'No buts. I promise you that black underwear will do'

'Fine' Trinny replied with a pout. A pout that turned into a smile after only a few seconds. Trinny had never been able to hold a grudge for long, and, apparently, she wasn't going to start at that moment either.

When we walked though the hallways I couldn't help but think about Dougie again. Drifting off into my thoughts I absent-mindedly looked out the window and for a short second I thought I saw something. Something resembling a familiar head. I stopped and moved closer, but like always in a situation like this, as quickly as he had appeared, he was gone.

I shook my head and hurried along to catch up with Trinny and the others. I had already decided that the sighting was merely a fiction of my imagination. I had been thinking about him constantly since I woke up. It wasn't that strange that I just thought that I saw him. Normally I'd never give a boy I don't even know this much time of day.

God, this boy was doing some serious damage to my sanity.

…

Later that day I tiredly unlocked my door and dropped my books in a pile on the floor, my cardigan following shortly after. I took a seat on my bed and threw myself backwards amongst the pillows.

I let out a content sight. It had been such a boring day, how fair is it to have double maths and physics all in one block? Horrible I tell you, Horrible.

But, since Trinny and most of the others had an extra lesson that afternoon, it didn't bother me too much. It was nice and quiet all around me and I let out a quiet snicker at my own luck of getting away from any form of education for a while, and looked around the room for any sign of something edible.

Disappointed I lay back down, but I sat up only seconds later when I heard a strange noise by the door. I quietly waked over and leaned against it to hear properly. The shuffling sound was still there, which meant that there was probably someone standing on the other side.

Suddenly I heard what sounded like a muffled curse word, followed by someone dragging their feet behind them as they walked away. I peaked my head out the door enough to get a clear view of the corridor.

My eyes instantly found a small paper-envelope on the floor. I bent down to pick it up and noticed that it had my name scribbled across it.

Just as I was about to grab it, the shuffling sound caught my attention again. I looked up and realized that someone was coming my way.

I quickly drew back into the shadow of the door and seconds later Dougie appeared in my view. This time he was a bit more alert and his eyes found mine instantly.

'Looking for something?' I asked him with a small smile.

'What are you doing here?' he replied, apparently surprised to see me.

'Ehm, this is my room…'

'Yeah, but you're supposed to be in class, aren't you?'

'Nah, I don't have to go to the extra-lessons, I'm to smart for those'

'I see' he nodded 'I'm not; I just didn't feel like going'

'Oh, I see' I copied him before remembering the envelope 'Did you leave this for me?'

A light shade of red quickly spread across his cheeks as he mumbled a quiet 'yes'. I picked it up and felt a form of childish excitement to open it 'Can I open it?'

'Ehm, sure. I guess' he continued while scratching his neck 'I mean, I wasn't really planning on being here when you opened it, but yeah, if you want to' he finished, looking down at his feet.

The sight made me smile, when I'd seen him around school, and yes, I admit that I had noticed him before, he came across as so confident, but up-close he seemed so different. Not in a negative way though, all those things made him seem a bit more down to earth and normal.

I watched him fiddle with his hands, eyes still focused on the floor, for a couple of seconds longer. Suddenly he looked up and his eyes met mine. I traced my eyes across the features of his face, along his jaw-line and ended up locking my eyes with his once again. He had these eyes that you just couldn't stop looking into. Deep blue and like a display of every single emotion hiding behind them.

He flashed me a small smile before breaking eye-contact. 'I should go' he said quietly 'If I get caught up here I'll be in deep shit'

'Yeah, might be wise to get out while you still can' I agreed, feeling slightly disappointed that he had to leave.

'I'll see you around?' he asked and I could see a small glimmer of hope in his eyes.

'Yeah' I nodded 'I'd like that'

As he turned to walk away I remembered the envelope again. 'Hey Dougie'

'Yes'

'Thanks for this, whatever it is'

'You're welcome' he smiled before hurrying off along the hallway.

I closed the door behind me and took a seat on my bed again. I carefully opened the envelope and smiled as I noticed what was inside; a huge chocolate-chip cookie and a small note. Picking up the cookie with one hand I immediately took a bite of it. 'How did he get hold of this?' I said out loud in between bites.

With me free hand I unfolded the note and read it to myself.

_Hi, I just wanted to say that I had a good time the other night. We should do it again some time // D_

I let out a quite laugh before returning my focus to the cooking again. "Yeah" I though to myself "It would be nice to do it again". Too bad it's almost impossible.

Suddenly I felt this sinking feeling inside. I shouldn't get this exited about something like this. What the hell was I doing? The eight commandment is the most important one and impossible to het around, going down this path would only lead to trouble.

I finished my cookie and placed the note in my desk-drawer, with the conclusion that at least it was fun while it lasted.

…

**Dougie**

One my way back from Sam's room I felt like skipping. Not in a nerdy way of course, but in a highly manly 'It's ok to skip cause I'm happy' kind of way. I didn't though, but I was still happy as hell.

When I came up with the idea to leave her a note I had no idea that it would be this successful. I figured that I, at the very best, would get the cookie to the girl's part of the school and then leave it, probably to be found by someone else, eaten and then forgotten. Never had I thought that I'd actually be able to deliver it personally

Yeah, the 'personally' part was still bugging me a bit though. What if she though the whole cookie-thing was lame, and ended up laughing at me?

As the thought hit me, my mood suddenly went from good to less good. Had I just destroyed that little, pathetic chance I might have had with her?

"No" I said to myself. She smiled at me and seemed genuinely happy to see me. This wasn't a bad thing, who am I kidding, this is a great thing.

And, just like that, my mood was brilliant once again.

…

'So' Danny said expectantly when I walked through the door to our room 'Did you make it all the way?'

I grinned at him 'Even better. Apparently she's too smart for extra-lessons, so she doesn't have to go'

'Yeah, so…what? No way!?' his mouth fell when the realization hit him 'You talked to her?'

'Yep' I stated proudly 'I think I made to much noise and she obviously heard me'

To this Danny only shook his head 'Oh my, I cant believe you've actually gotten this far, I mean, two conversations, face to face in two days, that is just incredible. I highly doubt that it's ever been done before'

'Really?' I asked surprised 'So far it's been pretty easy'

'Yeah, so far' he responded thoughtfully 'So far…'

…


	6. chapter three

**Sorry for the wait. I forgot about this place for a while. Hope you like it :D And i'm really sorry for the font and text being horrible in this one. I couldn't find the original file so i copied it from my other site, and this is the result.. I do hope it's readable atleast. **

**Sam**

'Trin?'

'Yeah' came a muffled response.

'Did you by any chance happen to kick my head in while I was sleeping just now?'  
'Not that I know, why?'

I groaned loudly 'It feels like it'

'Aww hun' Trinny cooed as she walked over to my bed 'Ouch, you're burning up too. I'd better got get a teacher to have a look at you' she continued putting a sweater on 'What time is it? 2.30, well, better try Mrs Adams then'

'Do you have to? Can't I just lie here in pain for a while and wallow in self…oh fuck, I think I'm going to throw up…'

'Yeah, that sounds like a good idea' Trinny replied sarcastically while taking a step back from my bed 'I'll be back in two seconds…or maybe three…and try and stay away from my bed will you'

I was too weak to even frown at her and resorted to let out another moan instead. I heard the door close behind her and I pried my eyes open but immediately closed them again when a wave of dizziness hit me. 'Stop hurting me!' I said out loud as I lifted the covers of me. I'd always hated being sick, and when you live at a boarding-school, well, lets just say that it sucks even more.

I crawled out of bed and landed in a heap on the floor. I let out another groan as this only made my head spin even faster, and started to make my way to the bathroom. Any normal day this would have taken about two seconds, but right now, those few metres felt eternal. With one last effort I rounded the doorway and thankfully rested my head on the cool, soothing tiles.

I stayed in that position for, I don't know how long, as I realised that staying still like that made the pounding in my head a lot less noticeable. But on the other hand, I wasn't really sure that I would have been able to move even if I wanted to. My arms and legs felt like cement, which was rather weird since they were so numb I could hardly feel them anymore.

'Sam?' I heard Trin say as she came back into the room 'Where are you?'

'In here' I whimpered.

'Oh, it's this way' she continued, but this time it wasn't directed to me.

'Who are you talking to?' I managed to get out as I attempted to lift myself high enough to reach the toilet bowl.

'Here' the other person said and I felt a pair of arms holding me up 'let me help you'

'Dougie?'

'Yeah, I'm really sorry Sam' Trinny blurted out 'But I couldn't find any teachers and then I ran into him and I just figured that he'd be able to help and all'

'I really don't want you to see me like this' I whispered tiredly.

'Don't worry about it' he replied as Trin closed the door behind us 'I've seen a lot worse'

I tried to smile but instead I felt that queasy sensation in my throat that often is followed by a, well, you know what. 'Fuck'

'Fuck what?'

'I'm gonna…' but I didn't make it any longer before I vomited into the bowl. I felt Dougie pull my hair back as I heaved once more and then gently run his hand up and down my spine whilst whispering into my ear.  
At that point I felt like crying, not just because of how shitty I felt , but more over the fact that Dougie was here. Ok, so I'd decided that not seeing him again was for the best, but I still liked him, and leaning over a toilet-bowl filled with your own sick, isn't really the kind of situation I would have liked for us to be in.  
After throwing up the remains of my insides yet another time I fell back onto the floor out of sheer exhaustion. Doug caught me and held me up as he handed me a towel to dry myself off with.

'Do you want any water or anything?'

'I want my bed'

'Alright, let's get you to bed then' he said as his grip around me tightened. He hoisted me up to standing position but my knees immediately buckled underneath me, forcing him to lunge forward to catch me.

'Shit' he mumbled as he wrapped his arms around me again 'It's ok, it's ok, I've got you'

Despite my semi-conscious state, I couldn't help but feel strangely comforted by the warmth of his arms and his whispering tone. 'Ok, let's do it like this then' he began, but I had a feeling he was talking more to himself than to me 'Put your arms around my neck'  
I did as I was told and seconds later he picked me up from the floor and proceeded to carry me to my bed. Once again I found myself able to think clearly for a moment, and I was surprised that he actually managed to carry me like that. Since he was quite skinny, I just didn't think that he had it in him, but obviously, and thankfully, I was wrong.

**Dougie**

When Trinny and I bumped into each other that night I initially had no clue who she was. I mean, she looked vaguely familiar but I couldn't really place her, and I was so deep in thought at that point that I barely noticed her at all. It wasn't until she cleared her throat for, what I guess, the third time that I even registered that I wasn't alone.

'You're Dougie, right?'

'Yeah' I nodded 'How did you know that?'

'I'm Sam's friend'

I think my face lit up a bit at the mention of Sam's name, and she flashed me a small smile when she noticed it.

'Ok…How is she?' I asked casually, trying to strike up some form of conversation.

'Not so good. She's got a fever and when I left her she looked like she was going to throw up any second'

I frowned 'What are you doing out here then? If she's in there throwing up' I asked sceptically.

'I was trying to find a teacher…' she said tiredly before rolling her eyes at me 'Duh…but I'm having no luck'

We were now standing outside her and Sam's room again, with the door slightly ajar from when she left it before. I shifted a bit where I stood, not sure if I should leave or continue talking, but my train of thought was suddenly interrupted by a moan from inside the room.  
'Oh crap!' 'Trinny said with a pained look on her face 'That does not sound good'

I put my hand on the doorframe 'I'll come in with you, just in case you need a hand or anything'

She looked at me with a relieved smile 'Thanks, is it that obvious that vomiting really isn't my thing?'

I smiled back 'Kind of, yeah'

She placed her hand on the handle before turning back to face me again 'I'm Trinny by the way'

'Nice to meet you' I responded as she opened the door fully and then followed her inside. Trinny called out for Sam and after getting another moan as a response she pointed me to the bathroom 'She's in there' she lowered her voice 'I think I'll stay out here'

'Its fine' I said walking towards the bathroom 'We'll be fine'

'Dougie, thanks for, you know, helping out and stuff'

'No problem'

I carefully pushed the bathroom-door open and instantly laid eyes on Sam, lying face down in front of the toilet. At first I though she'd fallen asleep or passed out or something, but then she groaned again and tried to lift herself up a bit, failing in doing so and returning to the floor.  
I quickly knelt down beside her and hoisted her up into a sitting position. 'Dougie?' she mumbled weakly 'I really don't want you to see me like this'  
I smiled slightly as I thought of things I'd rather do with Sam than watch her vomit, but decided not to voice it 'Don't worry about it, I've seen worse'  
She relaxed a bit in my arms upon hearing me say that and I thought that she was going to reply, but proceeded to throw up in the toilet instead. I used my free hand to rub her back while I held her hair back with my other one. I'd always been quite sensitive to other people throwing up, always feeling a bit nauseous myself, but at that moment it didn't bother me at all.

After throwing up a couple of more times she leaned back into my arms and managed to wash her face all on her own, which, I realised, I felt slightly thankful for. I slowly stood up and helped her into standing position as well. I was just about to lead her back into the bedroom again when her legs gave out and she fell forwards.  
'Shit!' I muttered as I threw my arms out to catch her before she reached the floor. I managed to do so and pulled her close again, now holding her up fully. 'It's ok, it's ok' I mumbled in an attempt to calm both her and myself down 'I've got you'  
Scanning my brain for what to do now I realised that my only option was to carry her. I told her to put her arms around my neck, and to my surprise, she actually did so, allowing me to pick her up and carry her to her bed. As she nuzzled closer to my chest I could tell that she was almost asleep again, so when I reached the bed I carefully put her down and pulled the covers tightly around her.

'Is she alright?' Trinny asked from where she was sat in her bed.

I nodded as I turned towards her 'Yeah, she'll probably need a few thousand aspirins tomorrow, but I think she'll be fine. You should probably keep an eye on her though, and get a teacher to have a look at her first thing in the morning'

'Ok, will do' she agreed with a small smile 'How do you know all this anyway?'

I shrugged my shoulders 'I don't really know, its just instinct I suppose'

She nodded and let out a huge yawn before getting back under her covers with one last 'thank you again, and good night'

As she turned her light off I walked over to Sam's bed and gave her a light kiss on her forehead. 'Feel better soon' I whispered even thought I knew she was far to gone to hear me. I took one last look at her, decided that she was alright and then quietly left the room, closing the door behind me. That's one way to spend a night, I thought to myself as I walked back to my own room. It sure had been a strange night.

…

When I woke up the next morning my first thoughts were of Sam, but I knew I had no way of finding out if she was feeling better or not, so I settled for hoping I'd catch a glimpse of her or Trinny during the day.  
I threw my pillow at Danny to wake him up before I jumped into the shower. I quickly washed my hair and dried off, and when I got back to the bedroom Danny was actually sitting up, but still looking more asleep than awake, with his head in his hands.

'Dan' no response 'Daniel' I tried again louder this time'

'Shut yer face' he muttered 'It's way to early for that stuff'

'What?, I only said your name' I said with a smile. Soon after I came to Wintworth, teasing Danny quickly became one of my favourite activities. The extent of his mood in the morning was just hilarious, how could I not be expected to take advantage of that?

He wasn't this moody all the time though. If he had something exiting to do one day, he'd be the first one up, annoyingly cheery and often jumping on you to spread his mood. This only meant that he deserved it, and I knew that he'd do the same to me any day, and he would come to that same conclusion soon enough. But, right now, I was having way to much fun to stop.  
'Dannyboy!'

'Doug'

'Yeah'

'Do shut up'

…

One o'clock - maths - can it get anymore boring than this?

I seriously doubt it.

_  
If train A leaves station A at 3 o'clock and train B leaves station B and 4 o'clock - they're both travelling at the same speed, and the distances can be found in the column below - in which city and at what time will they meet?  
_

This makes absolutely no sense to me, the might as well be asking which colour train A is or how many passengers train B is carrying. It's stupid I tell you, just plain stupid.  
'Mr Poynter, could you answer this for me please'

I felt Danny nudge me in the side and I shot him a glare for distracting me from my thoughts.

'Mr Poynter' Mr Steadman said again, and this time I actually heard him.

'Ehm, sorry Mr Steadman'

'The answer if you please, unless you're to busy for such trivial stuff as my lessons…'

I looked at the numbers on the black-board and quickly concluded that there was no way in hell I could answer that question correctly, in fact, I had no idea how to even begin to solve it.

'I do believe that the answer is…' I began nervously '6,5'. Come on brain, I thought to myself, work it.

'6,5?' Mr Steadman said with a disapproving frown 'That is wrong I'm afraid'

I felt my heart sink a bit upon hearing this. I knew that the chances of me guessing the right answer was slim, but for once, I thought, maybe it could work. But, once again I was proven wrong.

'Actually' Tom said from beside me and my head, along with pretty much everyone else's in the room, turned towards him 'He's perfectly right, the answer to that equation is indeed 6,5'

'I do believe, that as a maths-teacher I know the answer to this particular problem' Steaddy began before looking down at the book in his hand. He frowned slightly and then looked back up at Tom 'Fine. You seem to be correct' he began and then turned to me 'for once…'

I watched Tom suppress a smile, a smile that would have had the angry-vein on Steaddy's forehead grow even bigger than normal. (A vain that I take full responsibility for, at least for the last couple of months anyway.) I chuckled on the inside and looked over at Danny who still had a shocked look on his face that I actually got it right. That boy never has any faith in me. I strike when people least expect me too, the evil genius that I am, (insert evil laughter here…)

I spent the rest of the lesson gloating at my previous success while trying to think of a new way to see Sam again. For once I wanted to see her and maybe even as a result of a plan to see each other, instead of these random, sporadic meetings late at night.

**Sam**

Two days and one cold later I was walking through the hallway with determined steps. At least I thought they were determined, but for all I know, it might have looked like I was just walking rather harshly. I didn't really have any time to think about that though, like I said, I had only one thing on my mind, and surprise surprise, it was Dougie.  
When awakening from my feverish coma I realised that despite everything standing in-between us, I couldn't give up just like that. For once, I had to fight a little, and hopefully, he was worth fighting for.

I knocked on the wooden-door in front of me and then took a step back to avoid getting hit by it when it swung open. 'Miss Hershley, right on time' Mrs Adams said with a smile as she appeared in the doorway 'Please, do come in'

'Thank you Mrs Adams' I said politely as I took a seat on a chair in front of her desk.

'I take it that your visit means that you have decided to take me up on my offer?'

I nodded 'I does indeed, I have thought about it a lot lately and I despite still having a lot to do myself, I just feel that the gain I get from helping others is to good to give up' I continued with a fake smile. 'I mean, helping someone else understand a difficult problem is very satisfying and rewarding'

Mrs Adams beamed at me and I laughed on the inside at how easy it was to please her. 'You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear you say that. I have always thought that losing you as a tutor was one of our greater losses, I always admired you for your ability to reach out to others'

'Thank you Mrs Adams, that is very kind of you'

'I have to tell you though, as a senior tutor you will be taking on a lot more responsibility, but you are of age for it now'

'Of age for what?' I asked innocently knowing full well what she was talking about.

'Well' she began as she flipped through a folder in front of her 'As you know, we have a lot more female tutors than male here at Wintworth which opens up for a few problems as more boys than girls need tutoring this year. This is why, and this is completely optional, you could be tutoring boys as well as girls. Will this be a problem for you?'

I smiled sweetly at her before answering 'Oh no Mrs Adams, I have three brothers at home, thrust me, if its one thing I know how to handle, its difficult boys'

She let out a quiet chuckle and I joined in tactfully 'Somehow I knew that you'd be up for this challenge, and not to forget, this will look extremely good on your university-applications'

'I know Mrs Adams, but I would never do it for that only, like I said before, I feel that the rewards of doing this is enough for me' I continued, saying exactly what I knew that she wanted to hear.

'That is a very admirable attitude from a lady your age' she nodded as she put the folder down in front of her 'Now, lets see, which subject did you say that you wanted to tutor, cause I have one boy who is in serious need of maths-tutoring'

'Hm' I pretended to think of it 'Actually, maths would probably be my preferred subject, since it is my favourite and all'

'Perfect, then I shall set up your first appointment tomorrow afternoon, if that suits you'

'That sounds just perfect'

I said my goodbyes to Mrs Adams and waited until I closed the door behind me before I let the grin I had been hiding surface. That went well, I thought to myself as I walked back to my room, really well actually. I still wasn't completely sure that my plan would work on the first go, I mean, I knew that Dougie and maths weren't really compatible, and that the chances of him getting me as a tutor were slim, but I had high hopes. The worst case scenario, I would have to tutor one or two other boys before I got to him, but I also knew that I was one of few, if not the only girl who tutored boys, and maths, how hard could it be? I let out a little chuckle at my own success, before opening the door and setting to plan my tutoring-session with, hopefully, Dougie.

…

**Dougie**

'What the fuck?!' was my first reaction when I read the note Mr Steadman handed me after class. 'Tutoring?' I continued talking to no one in particular 'Hell no'  
I knew that I sucked in math, but I wasn't one to be locked up in a room with some nerdy math-fanatic-show-off who probably was younger than me, and have him try and tell me what to do. Unfortunately, as Steaddy had pointed out several times, I had no choice. It was tutoring or possible failing, which I knew couldn't happen, so I just had to suck it up. Maybe I'd even get someone nice, like Tom, I knew he had been doing some tutoring once to earn some extra credit, maybe he was doing it again. When looking at it like that, I felt slightly relieved. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all, I thought but almost immediately dismissed the thought, good things don't happen to Dougie's like me. They just don't.

…

'Tuesday afternoon, room 214 in the left wing, one Dougie sitting alone, waiting for judgement to be passed on him, probably in the form of the biggest nerd ever. Now, that's not very nice, just because I person likes maths and tutors doesn't make them a nerd' I announced throughout the room in the best speaker-voice I could muster. 'Sure it does, math + tutoring nerd, now that's one equation I can solve' I said with a chuckle 'Very good Doug, laugh at your own joke, just brilliant, who knows, maybe you'll even appear so crazy that nerd-boy will…'

I was interrupted in my attempt to cure my boredom by a rapid knock on the door. Knowing it would be my tutor I let out a groan and banged my head against the table in front of me repeatedly.

'Having fun?'

I shot up from my banging at the sound of that familiar voice, and my jaw must have dropped to the floor when I lay eyes on Sam, leaning against the doorpost.

'Wow' she continued walking closer to me 'That is not the friendliest welcome I've ever got, but, I guess speechless it pretty good too'

I closed my mouth and swallowed quickly 'What? How?…'

'Now Doug' she said and her smile grew even wider 'who ever said that you were the only evil genius in this school…'

'I can't believe this, how did you, I mean, you're a girl and I'm a boy, and we're not supposed to meet'

'There's this little loophole, when someone needs tutoring, and there's only a few tutors and stuff, then girls and boys can help each other out, mostly under teacher supervision, but I do believe that Mrs Adams trusts me enough to only check up on us ever hour or so'

I stood up from my seat and faced her 'So we've got like hours together?'

'Yeah, unless you mind…'

'Me? Never' I said with a chuckle.

'Good' she replied stepping closer.

'Good' I agreed leaning closer 'How are you feeling by the way?'

She shrugged her shoulders and as she raised her hand to push her hair back, it grazed mine ever so lightly, but still enough to send shivers all through my body.

'I felt like crap the next day, and then nothing, but, I meant to thank you though'

'It was nothing'

'But it was, and it means the world to me that you were there for me'

'Well, in that case' I began as I felt myself blush slightly 'You're welcome'

She flashed me a smile, and for a second I thought that she was going to say something, but then didn't. Instead she walked around me and stopped in front of a chair, and I hate to admit it, but being the boy that I am, I couldn't help to look at her a little extra when she had her back to me. As she suddenly turned around I snapped my head away, realising that I was staring, and felt that familiar blush grow even brighter. 'You know' she began as she took a seat by the table 'Mrs Adams warned me about you'

'Really, am I that bad?' I asked with a huge grin, attempting to flex my cheeks enough to make the red go away.

'Don't get to cocky here' she replied with a smirk 'I told her I could handle you'

I lifted my eyebrow in surprise 'Really?' I gulped.

Sam just nodded in reply but I could see a small smile playing on her lips. She was enjoying this, I thought to myself as I joined her sitting down, damn, since when does girls have this affect on me? Its supposed to be the other way around.

And no, I don't think that highly about myself. All the time…

'This isn't all play though' she continued as she pulled her books out 'Mrs Adams was kind enough to inform me that if you don't pass this exam you might fail the entire course' she locked her eyes with mine looking very serious all of a sudden, before breaking out into another one of her beautiful smiles 'But, not to worry, I just happen to be the best damn tutor in this school'

Looking into her eyes I felt myself slipping again, and this time it took all my willpower to snap back 'So, you're allowed to be cocky but I'm not?' I asked her with a smirk.

'Yeah' she nodded 'pretty much'

'Good to know'

…

'Alright, you understand that X in this case is the hidden variable?'

'Have you got any bothers or sisters?'

She shot me a look before answering '3, but you get the x-thing right? Cause that's the basic stuff about equations'

'Yeah' I nodded 'Three what though, brothers or sisters or both?'

'And sometimes another letter can be used as well, which means…what?'

'Three brothers?' I asked and my mouth fell open 'Should I be afraid?'

'Very, unless you focus on this for a few seconds, come on Doug' she said and placed her hand on my arm, in an effort to bring my attention from her to the math. Like that would work, touch me and that will make me more focused on numbers and variables… wait, did I just learn something? Hm, variables, interesting, but, like I said, touching and maths doesn't really go together.

Sam pushed the book closer to me before she looked up again 'How did you know I had three brothers?' she asked with a confused look on her face. A very cute confused look, I thought as I smiled at her. Ok, this was getting weird, this girl, who I barely knew, did something to me and I couldn't understand it. I mean, one word and I'm completely under her spell, she might as well have asked me to rob a bank or something and with a wink of her eye, I'd be all over it.  
Strange, and the fact that she can make maths sound sexy, well, that's a whole other thing.

'I don't know' I said as a reflex, but as I thought about it I realised that I actually had no clue 'I really don't know'

'Weird…'she mumbled.

'True, so…are they older than you?'

'Yup'

'Oh, and protective and stuff?'

'Yup'

'So I should be afraid, wait…they don't go to this school right?' I asked as I looked around the room feeling slightly alarmed.

Sam giggled at my apparent paranoia before reassuring me that they graduated long before I even started. 'They might hunt you down though, and beat you up and stuff, if you ever like hurt me'

My eyes shot open at this statement, but this time not because I was scared but more because of the meaning of those words. 'You mean that there's a chance I might get to hurt you?'

She looked at me with confusion in her eyes 'Huh?'

'I mean' I shook my head repeatedly 'No, I did not mean that at all like it sounded, I promise, ehm, I…' oh crap, I thought as I fumbled for the right words, oh crap, crap, crap. I buried my face in my hands in a horribly bad attempt to hide from her.

'Doug' she tried, but I didn't look at her, this was so bad. 'Doug' she said again and this time she placed her hands on mine, meaning that they were almost on my face, causing me to flinch slightly.

'Look at me'

I opened my eyes and peaked through my fingers, only to find her face only inches from mine. 'I know what you're trying to say' she said with a small smile 'And, I guess, that…well, yeah, if you, I mean, ehm, I just feel that, oh…'

Suddenly I couldn't resist it anymore, I removed my hands from my face and placed them on Sam's instead, causing her to immediately stop talking. I closed the gap between us, but stopped when our lips were only an inch apart.  
'Stop me, if, you know…'I whispered as I closed my eyes. I felt her nod and before I had any time to regret it or think it over, I pressed my lips on hers in a gentle kiss.

…


	7. chapter four

…

_**Closed Worlds**_

_**Chapter four**_

Ehm, where do I start? I'm just, I mean, wow. Yeah, pretty much. Wow. So, if you don't know what I'm referring to, then, too bad. Ha ha, nah, I'm just kidding. I am, of course, talking about the kiss. THE KISS.

Not many things in this world have the power to leave me speechless, in my moments when I talk to much, but this can now be added to that list. Those short seconds were literally all I'd pictured them to be, and probably more. But I am not too sure, I hate to admit it, but I'm not the most experienced when it comes to girls and such stuff. In my own defence though, it is pretty hard when you live at a place like this.

And to those of you who really pay attention when I tell this story, I know I've only been at Wintworth for two years, but before that I was what, 15? How experienced is a guy supposed to be at that age?

Huh? No answer. Shut you up then.

Alright, fine, I'll stop. I just felt that I had every right to be a bit stuck up and brag about my accomplishment for a second or two. I will stop now though, for everyone's sake, and get back to the story.

So, me and Sam in the classroom. K - I - S - S - I - N - G.

At that point I had mustered all the courage I could find and even placed my hand on hers, in an attempt to be a little bit closer to her. Our lips were still locked together, and to be honest, I didn't really feel like breaking apart, but moments later it kind of came to a natural end and we pulled apart slowly. I opened my eyes and found Sam looking back at me. I flashed her a small smile and she immediately bent her head down and I could see a slight hint of read spread across her cheeks.

For once I was quite happy that it wasn't me doing all the blushing, but knowing how annoying it can be, I placed my hand on her cheek and tilted her head up towards mine.

'Can I…' I began, and before I knew it I was off and the blushing began. If this had been any other situation I'm sure this would have looked extremely comical, two people with cheeks on fire, but right now, it really didn't bother me. At least we were both doing it. That's one thing in common. 'You know, kiss you, again?'

Sam looked deep into my eyes before smiling back at me 'I'd like that'

I swallowed and tried to talk at the same time, probably not making much sense at all, but I think I managed to say 'Cool' before she leaned closer, in what I presume, must have been an attempt to shut me up. I must say, a very efficient attempt though.

Our lips were now only a few millimetres apart and I could feel the warmth of her breath as it hit my skin. Just as I was about to press my lips on hers, we heard a cracking noise and seconds later the door sprung open.

I threw myself away from Sam and heard her mutter shit before I landed on the floor with a loud thud, only enforced by my chair joining me soon after.

'What's going on here?' Mrs Adams asked in a stern voice from where she stood in the doorway, overlooking the scene in front of her.

'Nothing' I said quickly, probably looking even more guilty than before. I shook my head at the whole thing, and cursed inwardly, we had been so close, and now it would all be over. Just like that. In the blink of an eye. Oh, fuck, I have to try, I thought to myself feeling quite surprised at how quickly my brain came up with all these doomsday thoughts.

'It's nothing Mrs Adams' Sam said in a serious tone, avoiding my gaze 'I was just showing Dougie how you can apply equations in real life by, eh, having him walk around and find different examples. Like how the x and y rely on each other, ehm, like balance for Dougie and the chair he was standing on…' she finished with a light shrug, almost impossible to see if you didn't look directly at her, like I was. I looked down at the floor again, still not daring to move. Yeah, like she's going to believe that. We are so screwed.

'Very well then, you know that I have high faith in your teaching-methods, no matter how… unusual they might be' Mrs Adams said as she shot me a look. Wait, I thought to myself, does this mean that she actually believed her? Damn, Sam must really be in her good-book.

'I shall leave you to it then, Miss Hershley. And Mr Poynter' she continued as she turned around to leave 'I do expect you to pass that exam with flying colours though'

'Oh I will Mrs Adams, trust me' I quickly replied and as she closed the door behind her I could finally let out the breath that I hadn't even been aware of holding.

'Hm…' I heard Sam say, and I turned my head back to her.

I nodded slowly 'At least you can lie…on the spot…that's always good to know'

'Yeah' she said with a small smile, before spreading her hands wide, followed by a very ironic 'Awesome'

'That was close though' I continued as I got up from the floor and walked back over to the table with my chair.

'Too close' Sam replied and as I took a seat next to her, she absent-mindedly leaned her head on my shoulder. 'We need to be more careful in the future'

Agreeing but not really listening, her head was on my shoulder for gods sake!, I mumbled something incoherently and sank back into a very comfortable daze. It took me almost a minute before it hit me, she said future. Oh shit, she said future. To say that I was happy at that point would be completely unfair, mainly cause it wouldn't even come close to describe the way I was feeling.

'In the future?' I asked carefully before closing my eyes hoping that she had meant it. I know I was acting like a complete insecure idiot at that point, but I couldn't help it.

I felt her grab my hand in hers and she slowly laced her fingers together with mine. 'You're quite slow sometimes, aren't you?'

'Yup, I am indeed' I said with a light chuckle.

'I kinda like it though'

'I kinda like that you like it though'

…

'So' Sam began an hour later 'Have you actually learned something or are you just saying so to please me?'

I smirked at her 'I have learned something, thank you very much. I'm not as dumb as people make me out to be'

'Good' she nodded 'Then practice this until next time, cause the next part is even trickier'

'Yes Mam, will do'

She flashed me a amused smile 'Cute, very cute. But, all kidding aside, you really have to get this…'

'You think I'm cute?'

'Doug, you need to pass this exam you know, if you don't, it will be both out behinds on the line'

'I think you're cute'

Sam rolled her eyes at me before answering 'And I think you're annoying'

I huffed at her and crossed my arms, pretending to be offended.

'In the best possible way though'

'I can live with that' I said in a cocky tone.

'Really?' she continued moving closer 'You can, can you?'

As she stood up fully I quickly extended my arm and pulled her down so that she was sat on my lap. I wrapped my arms around her resting them gently on her lower back, softly caressing her skin through her top.

'Am I stuck?' Sam asked innocently, trying to hide her smile.

'I do believe you are…'

'Oh…' she began as she sneaked her arms around my neck 'What's a girl to do…?'


	8. Chapter four part two

Sam

Its strange sometimes how life turns out. How it, from one day to the next, can change completely. A week ago all I thought about was school and more school and now, here I was, as far away from any of that as possible. I felt a small smile play on my lips and I buried my head in the crock of Doug's neck to hide it from him. I had no idea why I did that, it just felt natural, but, what do I know, it might just have been a way to be even closer to him.  
He wrapped his arms even tighter around me and let out a content sigh before kissing me lightly on the forehead.  
At that moment, I found it very difficult to think of anything to make it better. Maybe the possibility of actually seeing each other with permission, but, in this situation, I couldn't think of anything else.  
I think it was when he kissed me on the forehead that it suddenly hit me how much I was feeling so soon. I mean, we'd seen each other like five times, and not even proper times, and yet, here I was, wishing I could stay wrapped up safely in his arms forever.

'Go out with me' Doug asked me suddenly, causing me to lift my head from his shoulder.  
'Huh?' I asked confused 'But, I thought…huh?'  
'Like a date'  
'Like a date?'  
'Like a date'  
'But, I mean, don't take this the wrong way or anything, but we're kind of already, um…' I began struggling to find the right words.  
'Together' Dougie filled in with a smile that sent jitters all through my body. 'I know, but we've never had a proper date, and as much as its possible in this place' he continued and gestured at the four walls around us 'I'd like to take you on a date'  
'How are we supposed to do that then, its hard enough to see each other as it is, how can we actually spend continuous hours together?'  
'Just leave it to me' he answered confidently 'Are you free this Saturday?'  
'Yeah' I said with a smile.  
'So it's a yes then?'  
I remained silent for a couple of seconds just looking into his eyes. I felt my heart beat, that little jolt in my stomach from when he asked me the question I, until that moment, didn't realise how badly I wanted to hear, still lingered inside me, like a sparkler refusing to go out. I wasn't really sure why, but suddenly everything just felt so right. I had never been in that situation before, and yet I seemed to know every feeling I was feeling and how to react to it. Talk about natural instincts.

'Yes' I said without a seconds thought to any other possible answer.  
Watching his eyes light up, for about the tenth time that day, still put a smile on my face. Its hard to explain, but once again I found myself not wanting to let him go. Still, somewhere in my mind, reality made itself known, and I'm reminded that any minute now someone might walk through that door and it will all be over. Maybe not forever, but that little blissful bubble that we'd managed to create these past few hours, certainly would be.  
'What if, you know, someone finds out, and we cant be together?' I whispered, so quietly I'm not even sure he heard me.  
'Don't worry' he finally said 'I wont let it happen'

…

'Oh my god!' Trinny squealed overexcited as she threw herself on my bed 'I cannot believe that he is taking you on a date. On the school-grounds. That is just too, wow' she continued unfazed by the fact that I'm not replying to anything she's said the last few minutes. 'Oh, what are you going to wear?'  
By that point I realised that she probably deserves an answer. Or maybe she just asked a question I hadn't even come close to thinking of myself. 'What do you mean?' I asked thoughtfully.  
'Sam' she began, sitting up in front of me 'You're going on a date, with a boy your really like. Are you seriously telling me that you haven't spent a single moment thinking about what you're going to wear?'  
I nodded 'Yeah, I guess so. I don't know why, somehow I don't think I see it as a date, you know. This world that we live in here, and all the rules, I just find it hard to realise that its actually happening. Do you understand at all what I'm saying here?'  
'Kind of. You're scared'  
'What? That's not what I meant'  
Trinny gave me a knowing look before shaking her head 'Of course you are, and I can give you shitloads of reasons to why, but I'll stick to the two biggest. One, its against every rule that we have ever been thought to follow. And, despite what you might say, its hard to just put that fact aside. This school does a pretty good job when it comes to making the commandments second nature'  
'What's number two then?'  
'I was just getting to that. Two, because of the fact that you have lived your life inside this school, with all its rules, you have no experience…' When I opened my mouth to object she raised her hand in front of my face 'Let me finish. You haven't got any experience when it comes to dating and being around boys, so a normal relationship would prove a bit difficult for you, but, add the fact that the boy in question is strictly forbidden from even seeing you, well, what only makes thing even worse. Like I said, you are afraid of getting hurt. Either by falling for him and then someone on the outside breaking you apart, or the more personal reason, if he hurts you'  
I sat there in silence for a while, taking everything she just said in, and trying to make any sense of it. 'Have you thought a lot about this?' I asked with a small smile, which she instantly returned.  
'I have my moments when I'm deeper and more logical than you give me credit for'

…

Dougie

A date. I have a date. With Sam. Wow. Speechless? Unable to form comprehendible sentences? Giddily? Jumpy? Ehm, yeah, pretty much all of the above. Annoying? Hell no!

A thought hit me when I walked down the empty corridor. What do two people do on a date they're not supposed to be on? In a place where they have to stay constantly hidden? As the thought hit me I came to a stop, mostly cause I just realised that I didn't have a clue. Hm, I thought to myself, have I taken on more than I bargained for here?

'No' Danny said simply when I voiced my fears to him.  
'No?'  
'The thing with you two is, that you're not supposed to be together…'  
'Duh..'  
He shot me an annoyed look before continuing. 'If you let me finish…But, despite that, you are. Which means that you have already defeated the odds in so many ways. Yes, a date is a bit harder than a sporadic meeting, but I think you, of all people, could get it done'  
'Hm' I nodded 'At least someone has faith in me'  
'Well, someone has to' he added with a grin. 'So, what are you going to do for the big date?'  
'I actually think that I have a few ideas…'  
'Oh, tell me, tell me!'  
'Nope, you'll have to wait until I have a finished plan'  
'Bummer' Danny said with a pout.  
I let out a chuckle at him 'You look really stupid doing that'  
'You look really stupid doing that' he replied quickly.  
'Doing what?' I asked half amused half confused 'I'm just standing here'  
'Yeah, like I said, you look really stupid'  
I placed my hand over my heart 'Ouch'  
Danny smirked at me before letting out a chuckle.  
'You know, I used to think I was stupid…until I met you'  
'Same here' he replied calmly, not seeming to notice my comment 'We're like double-mint twins'  
'We complete one and other' I nodded 'And we sound like girls'  
'We totally do, yeah'  
'Wanna go do some heavy weight lifting or something?' I asked with a grin.  
'Nah' Danny shook his head 'And move…I don't think so. Lets plan your date instead. What are you going to wear?'

We continued our conversation in true Danny and Dougie style, meaning that Danny did the talking and I did the occasional nod here and there to make him think I was listening. It wasn't that I didn't care what he had to say, and I did actually listen and talk back when he had some interesting point, it was just that I had more important stuff on my mind. I'll give you one guess to what that was…

'…And when you think of it like that, I kind of makes sense. Doesn't it?' I snapped out of my daydream and realised that I didn't have a clue to what he had just said. Face up to it or lie? Hm, I really cant be bothered, I thought as I opened my mouth to speak.  
'Pardon?'  
Danny shrugged his shoulders, like he didn't even notice I wasn't listening. 'This whole situation' he continued thoughtfully 'It's like when a 21 year old supermodel marries a 89 year old millionaire. It doesn't sound like much, but, lets face it, they're both gonna have a hell of a good time'  
I think my jaw literally dropped to the floor when he said that. 'How…when…' I began before just giving up 'You can be so completely random sometimes, you know that right?'  
He shrugged his shoulders again in response 'I know, but I thought that this fit, in a way'  
To this, I just stared at him, and to be honest, what else could I be expected to do?

…

Its raining.  
That was my first thought when I woke up on that particular Saturday morning, cause it was that kind of rain that you really cant miss. It was the kind of rain that when you turn the shower off, the noise is still there. The kind of rain that I have always loved.  
Looking over at my alarm-clock I realised that it was only 5.30. With a light snort I wondered what had woken me up this early, but that thought only lasted for a second or two, since today was the big day. The day for my date with Sam.  
Not feeling tired at all I got out of bed and pulled on a sweatshirt and a pair of trousers. I tip-toed around the room to not wake Danny up, and then quickly grabbed my trainers and snuck out the room without the slightest sound.

I walked briskly along the corridor and took the stairs down two at a time, not stopping for anything until I reached the side-door. I punched in the code and seconds later the cold morning air hit my face.  
With a deep breath I jumped down the steps before jogging off along the track that led around the school through the woods. I have to admit, I'm not much of a runner, in fact, I find it quite pointless. But sometimes I just get this urge to go for a run and especially if its raining. There's nothing better than the fresh air and the nature and…Ok, I'll just stop here, cause now I'm sounding like some nature-freak.

Anyway…

As I ran along the trail I suddenly thought I heard a whistle. I stopped dead in my tracks, or on the track… and listened, and sure enough a few seconds later, there it was again. Despite my very brief knowledge of birds and their sounds, I was pretty sure that this wasn't one of those. I spun around in a circle, not at all paranoid here, to make sure I was alone, and, as expected, found no one.  
'What the fu…?' I began but then suddenly an arm reached out of nowhere and pulled me in behind a tree. As I opened my eyes, which I foolishly closed I came face to face with Sam.  
'What the fu…?'  
'Don't be so surprised Dougie' she said with a smile 'Who else would it be?'  
'I don't know, an axe-murderer on the lookout for young devilishly good looking boys'  
'On the school grounds?' Sam questioned 'And, by the way, you're not devilishly handsome. Handsome maybe, but not devilishly, that's taking things a little bit to far…'  
'Oh, just shut up already' I said with a smirk as I stepped closer to her, gently pushing her back against the tree.  
'I will not' she smirked back 'you'll just have to shut me up'  
'I can do that' I whispered, leaning so close our noses almost touched. I placed my hands on her hips, slowly stroking her warm skin through her top. 'I'll have to think of something though…' I continued knowing I was teasing her to the max.  
'Oh, just..' she began but I quickly cut her off by pressing my lips on hers in a gentle kiss. 'kiss…me…already' she murmured in-between kisses.

'Mr Steadman always takes his morning run at 6 o'clock so we only have a few minutes' Sam said suddenly.  
'How do you know that?' I asked surprised. But as I thought about it, I really shouldn't be that surprised. Apparently Sam knows everything to know around here. Hm, I said out loud as the mischievous side of my brain started up, that could really come in handy one day.  
She gave me a questioning look before shrugging it off 'I realised a couple of months back, and I always say hello to him when we meet, keeps me in his good book I guess'  
'You have everyone wrapped around your little finger, don't you?'  
'Well, I do my best' she said with a proud smile 'I've got to run'  
'Me too' I agreed, and smiled as I thought about the hot shower waiting for me when I get back. Cause, for those of you who don't remember, its still pouring down, and I am now soaked to the bone.  
With one last quick kiss Sam turned away from me and started to jog off down the track. She slowed down though, about 20 feet away from me. 'What time tonight?' she shouted over the continuous hammering of the rain.  
'Seven' I yell back 'In the hallway on the fourth floor, next to the old drama-room'  
She gave me a thumbs up before jogging off around the bend, leaving me standing looking after her with a dumb-struck look on my face. Could I care though? Not really.  
I snickered to myself before regaining my composure and running off the opposite way, towards my room and the shower.

…


	9. Chapter five

_**It's not really the full chapter, but this one doesnt really have chapters anymore, i just write and cant stop. I hope you like it though :D**_

**_More soon. _**

_**Chapter five**_

_**It wasn't supposed to happen…**_

_**Dougie**_

'D-d-d-d-Annnnnny' I sang as I entered the room. 'Dannyshizzle?'

'What's the shizzle, my fizzle?' came a tired response. 'And it better be good, cause you just woke me up at… 6.30! You fg woke me up at six thirty?! Ah, this better be good, a shizzle-wake-up and at this hour. Bloody hell' he continued, still not coming out of the cover he was hiding under. 'It's a Saturday Doug, Saturday morning! Does that mean anything to you?'

Suddenly the alarm clock that he had pulled in with him fell out and landed with a thud on the floor. 'Did that hit your head by any chance?' he muttered.

'Ehm, no' I answered trying my hardest not to laugh.

'Crap'

'I shall take a shower now, but when I get back I expect you to be up and running' I told him as I stood up and pulled my soaked sweater off.

'Sod off'

I couldn't help but tease him a bit more. I mean, I had already woken him up, and not even got to tell him the thing I intended to tell him when I woke him up. Or something like that, I am confusing myself a bit here. I woke him up to tell him something. Yes. And I haven't. Right. Now tease him more. Will do.

'Guess who I ran into when I was out running just now?'

'You don't run'

I rolled my eyes 'I know, but I did today, ok. Now guess!'

'I refuse'

'Fine, but you wont be able to stop thinking about it from now, running it back and forth in your mind. Who could young Dougie have run into? Oh, he didn't tell me, now I cant stop thinking about it. I have to know. And…' I added knowing he was listening intently 'In case you don't notice, I'm being your brain here. Anyway, it will get under your skin, drive you up the walls until you cant stand it anymore. Who could it be? Who could be so important that he would pull a shizzle-wake-up on me? Hm, I cant think anymore. I need Doug, I need my precious Doug to tell me who it is so I can let it go. PLEASE'

'One thing Doug'

I looked up from my spot on the floor, where I was currently acting out the entire thing 'Yeah'

'My brain sounds nothing like you'

'Maybe not, but you're still gonna think about it until I get back and you'll fail to get back to sleep, so…Oops' I grinned at him before walking into the bathroom and shutting the door behind me.

'And you're not precious!' was the last thing I heard him shout before I turned on the shower and allowed the running water to drench out everything else.

…

Hm, black t-shirt or blue one? Jeans or three-quarters? Sneakers or dress-shoes? And to those of you gawping right now, yes, I do own a pair of dress-shoes, two pairs in fact. And to make matters even worse, I also own about 5 ties, and, get this, I know how to tie them. How do you like that?

Shirt? Uniform?

Huh?! Uniform, god I have so been doing this for too long. Its not like Sam would mind whatever I dressed in, or would she? Maybe she's only with me because I'm so fit. Oh, that would be quite interesting actually, if she spotted me across the schoolyard and decided that she was going to go after me. Cool. I snickered to myself as I thought about it.

But then again Dougie, the logical side of my brain opposed, she told you that you weren't overly handsome yesterday, remember?

Oh right, so maybe she's not with me for my looks. Maybe its my personality, which, when you think about it, is actually even better.

Or, could it be, that I come as a package? You know, looks and personality. The whole shebang. Maybe I should selling myself short at times, I'm probably a lot better than I set out to be.

'Do you think Sam is only going out with me for my looks?'. Danny gave me a strange look and I realised that I'd just said that out loud.

'Yeah right' He huffed as he threw the blue shirt on my head. 'Don't think too highly about yourself'

'Sorry Dan' I laughed 'Its just that this date is all I can think about, I've gone through it like 50 times in my head and every time I just find more and more stuff that I need to fix or that can go wrong..

'Doug! You know you can think like that, if you only thought about the stuff that could go wrong, well, you'd be better off staying on bed tonight, cause, seriously…'

'I guess you're right' I began slowly.

'Don't make me slap you, cause you know I will' he added sternly 'STOP worrying'

'Oohh, scary…' I mocked him 'But seriously, can you swipe some grapes for me when you got down for breakfast, if the lunch lady sees me taking stuff again she'll kill me'

He walked all the way to the door before answering 'Sure, why not.. Anything for you young Douglas, but' he pointed at me 'I do expect you to hook me up with that fit girl soon'

'Really?? Despite everything me and Sam have to go through you still want to go after Trinny?'

'What can I say…I'm a guy, she's a girl…A fit girl' he added with a grin 'Sometimes, its just as easy as that'

'You mean that you're horny as hell'

He nodded intently 'God yes. Its rather weird actually, but in this place feelings like…'

I did the usual "blank Danny-routine" and pulled on my t-shirt instead. Ok Doug, time to get cracking. Plan that date.

…

_**Sam**_

Later that Saturday I walked out of my room and turned left instead of the usual right. To be honest it felt pretty weird to be heading somewhere that had absolutely nothing to do with school, but then again, it had everything to do with a certain Dougie.

I had woken up pretty early that morning, from a rather interesting dream. I wont go into it too much, I'll just leave it to your own imagination. Lets just say that I woke up with a snicker.

Anyway, since I was up so early I tried to get some homework done, but nah, didn't really keep my mind of things so I decided to ignore it for a while longer. I mean, what's the worst that can happen? I have a bit more work to do another day…Yeah, definitely worth skipping for thinking about Doug.

It was strange how he always managed to be on my mind. But over the last few days, there had been few moments when I'd found myself thinking about anything but Dougie. Not that I was obsessed or anything. He just intrigued me. There was still so much I didn't know about him, that I wanted to know, and it made me smile just thinking about it.

I looked at the time, for about the 6th time that hour, and for about the same number of times, realised that I wasn't late. I did however, notice a purple/bluish hickey on my arm. How the hell did he manage to kiss my arm long enough to leave a mark, and not have me notice?

The thought made me chuckle out loud, and as I turned a corner I found the flight of stairs I was looking for and started climbing them, still with that smile stuck on my face. Oh, that boy and the effect he had on me. Or the effect his kisses had would be a more accurate statement. Cause, tingles and sparks doesn't really cut it.

I looked down at my jeans and wondered if I should have gone for something more dressed up. But then on the other hand, he hadn't really seen me in anything other than a uniform before. Hm, I wondered if I looked a lot different in my normal clothes. He had seen me in my running clothes thought, but that wasn't maybe the most flattering outfit. Of all the things I could have chosen to go running in, I had to chose a loose fitting t-shirt and my brothers old sweat-pants. He didn't seem to mind though, I thought with a chuckle. He didn't seem to mind at all…

It felt really weird not to be in uniform, but it was a nice change. Maybe it would even feel like we weren't at school anymore, and it was just the two of us. Nothing against us for once. That would be rather nice, I thought, rather nice.

I came to a closed door at the end of the hallway. I wasn't exactly sure which room I was supposed to go to, since he hadn't told me, but this looked like the only one that had been opened in, like the last ten years. I polished off the bras-plate that sat on the wall next to the door, 'Drama'. Hm, I thought, I didn't even know that they even thought drama here. Interesting, I wondered why they stopped though. Drama would have been a pretty relaxing input to all the mandatory stuff they make us do here.

'Dougie?' I asked as the door creped open, only to reveal a pitch-black room. Once my eyes got used to the darkness I noticed a covered-up window, but the gloomy rays didn't reach all the way to the doorway where I was standing, so I didn't really feel like going any further. Not that I was overly afraid of the dark or anything, but seriously, would you go into a dark room, when you didn't know what was inside, in a almost closed off part of a 200 year old building. Nah, I didn't think so either.

'Sam?' I heard Dougie say, but I couldn't pinpoint where his voice was coming from.

'Will you come and save me from this stupidly dark place soon?' I said with a light snort 'Its not all that fun alone, you know'

I felt a pair of arms sneak around my waist, but, to my own surprise, I didn't even flinch, instead I just relaxed. All of a sudden I was overwhelmed with feeling safe again, not that I minded though, it was a nice feeling, but I wasn't used to having someone's simple presence be enough to engulf me in it.

'Hi' Doug whispered as I entangled my fingers with his.

'Hi' I replied. 'How's your day been?'

'Long, is it ok to say that I've missed you?'

I turned around in his arms and locked my hands behind his neck instead. 'I think it is'

'I've missed you'

I gave him a quick peck 'I've missed you too'

'What?' he asked with a confused look 'That's all I get?'

'Is that not enough for you?' I replied with a huge smile 'Oh well…'

And here we go again…The kisses…The kisses. Suddenly I wondered if Dougie liked my kisses. Is it even possible to share these amazing kisses without both people being good at it?

I did brush it off rather quickly though, he sure seemed like he was enjoying them.

'I cant believe we're actually on a date!' I said as I leaned my head on his shoulder. 'This is just perfect'

Doug looked at me with a quizzical expression 'We haven't even begun yet'

'I know… All I'm saying is that being alone with you is quite enough. And the fact that the possibility of someone finding us here is rather slim, well, that only makes it better'

'You're gonna make me blush if you keep this up'

'Maybe that's my plan. First: make you blush, second: world dominance' I said with a grin 'But, on a more serious note, I happen to think you're pretty cute when you blush'

'You are quite weird'

'Hey, I just gave you a compliment'

He gave me a quick kiss on the forehead before answering 'So did I'

…

'So, why did you bring me to the old drama-room anyway?' I asked as Doug walked into the room. 'And just so you know, I'm not following you until you turn the light on'

'Me and Danny found it a while ago, and I come here sometimes to relax' he replied as I watched his back disappear into the darkness. 'Here it is' he continued and suddenly the room was flooded with light. 'As you can see, there's all these cushions and stuff, although I'm not sure what that has to do with drama, but, I'm not complaining. You wouldn't believe the number of amazing naps I've had in here'

'Really?' I asked with an amused smile 'You nap?'

He shrugged his shoulders 'Mm, its hard work being me, sometimes I need a break to regain my powers, and that's what naps are for'

'You know that compliment you gave me before?' I asked as I threw myself into the cushion-pile, where Doug was already residing.

'Yeah, course I do'

'Back at you' I said with a smile as I found a particularly fluffy pillow to hide behind. 'I love pillows'

'Random' Doug said as he started pulling stuff out of the bag he apparently brought with him.

I lay back completely, allowing myself to relax completely. 'Tell me something completely random about yourself'

'I hate bananas'

'Me too' I nodded 'I like apples and pears, but only when they're hard. I cant to soft, mushy ones'

'I have this love hate relationship with marshmallows. I always buy them thinking that I love them and then realise that I don't' Doug began thoughtfully as he handed me a glass 'I don't know what's up with that'

I shrugged my shoulders in response 'I'm very spoiled'

'Cause you're the youngest?'

'Maybe, I don't know, probably. Have you got any brothers or sisters?'

It might seem like such a simple question, but I realised that it was one of those fundamental ones that you should know about the person that you are with. At the same time we couldn't be expected to know everything about each other, we'd only been going out for, what, an hour, but still, there was a lot we didn't know about each other. A lot.

And despite being completely blissfully happy when I was with Doug, reality was always lurking behind some corner, waiting for the best time to jump out and ruin everything. 'Does it worry you that I don't know that about you?'

He smiled at me 'I have a brother, he's five years older than me so he's never really been around much, and no, well, yeah, sometimes. But I don't really worry, we have all the time in the world to find out these things about one and other' he said, and he made it seem so obvious, like there was no other possibility. I couldn't help but think about it though.

'What of we don't?'

'Sam' he replied and pulled me closer to him, so close that our noses were almost touching 'Don't worry. Worry tomorrow or the next day, but right now, its just you and me, and nothing else matters'

'How can you stay so positive?'

'Cause I have you here, in my arms, and that's enough for me'

Ok, so his kisses are amazing, he's funny, hot and sensitive. Could things get any better? I think not. I looked into his eyes and realised that what he just said was true, all that should matter was us. I pushed all the doubts out of my mind and focused on making the most of my time with him.

…

I let out a small squeal as Dougie rolled me over on my back. 'What are you up to?'

'You'll see' he whispered as he moved his face closer and closer to mine. I closed my eyes and waited for the kiss I knew was going to come.

Except it didn't. Instead he tickled me, and if you know me, well, just don't tickle me, it wont go down very well. Unfortunately I couldn't do much about it since Doug was currently straddling me and blocking off any of the squirming I was attempting. Not that I did much trying, I was quite busy with laughing, squealing, pleading, laughing a bit more, coming up with a plan, and squealing again to cover up the fact that I just came up with the perfect plan to get out of his grip. Or, at least his tickling grip, the other grip, well, I could get used to that one.

'Doug please…' squeal 'I' laugh 'brought' scream 'dessert'.

'Really?!' He said with a huge smile. 'You did just say what I think you said, right?'

'I brought desert' I repeated as I tried to regain my breathing.

Doug rubbed his hands together while making rather weird mm'ing noises. At that point I wasn't really sure if it was a good mm or a bad one, and I couldn't really figure out how to ask. After a few more seconds of hand-rubbing, mm'ing, difficulty to breath (he's still sat on top of me people!), I decided against asking and opted for showing instead.

'Yeah, and all you have to do is to follow me'

'Do we have to move? But I'm so comfy here' Doug said with a pout.

'I bet you are' I replied and got a raised eyebrow in response. 'What?'

'Nothing'

'Just let me up and I'll show you' I added and pushed his hands off me. Once in standing position I brushed my jeans off before looking down on Doug. 'Thank you' I said with a smile as I took his hand and pulled him up from the floor before dragging him with me along the deserted corridors. 'Its worth the walk, I promise'

_**Dougie**_

When Sam dragged me along the corridor I really had no clue to where she was taking me. Not that I did much thinking about it though, I have to admit that I was pretty occupied with the fact that she was holding my hand.

When I gave her a light squeeze she instantly returned it and I couldn't help but smile. I hadn't done much hand-holding in my life, but I was pretty sure that not all hands fit as well as ours did.

'Not much longer now' I heard her say, but I was still stuck in the holding-hands daze, so I didn't really take it in. For all I cared, we could have walked forever, if it meant that I could be this close to her.

It wasn't until that moment that I realised how much I felt for her. The instant attraction I had felt when I first saw her was still there. Well, obviously, she's hot, what else is there? But it had grown into something else, and I have to say that it was a bit scary. But at the same time not scary at all. If you know what I mean. I'm not sure I completely know what I mean either, so I wont blame you if you don't. That's just the way my brain works. And to be fair, you really should know that by now.

I wondered if me and Sam ever would have met if both of us hadn't been stuck at Wintworth. I mean, of course we wouldn't, but say we had, would the attraction still be there if we were allowed to see each other? How much of an impact on our relationship does this school really have? Or, is that what I meant to say? I have no idea, now I'm just confusing myself a bit here. What I'm trying to say, I think, is: are we together because we are meant to be together, or because we met at a time when both of us needed someone, and now we're stuck with what we've got?

Wow, did I just go really deep? Hm, who knew, I thought to myself as I let out an unattractive snort, maybe I'm a lot more clever than I give myself credit for. But then again, all of that is just bull, cause I'm positive I would have felt exactly the same way about Sam whenever I would have met her. So what if we have to fight a bit to be together. So far, it is so definitely worth it.

'Do you do that a lot?' Sam asked me suddenly, causing me to snap back from my complex train of thought.

'Do what?'

'Think really hard about something, and then laugh to yourself when you think of something funny? Cause this is like the fifth time you've done it when I'm around, or maybe its just when I'm around, am I that funny to you?'

'Huh?' I shook my head 'No, not at all. I just think to much, and when I think of something funny I tend to laugh at it, and then it hits me that I'm not alone, which makes me seem pretty weird, I am very aware of that. And yes, I was thinking about you, but in a good laughing way, not in a bad one. If that answers your question?'

She wrinkled her forehead, in the cutest way possible I might add 'Kind of…I think it does. Oh, we're here' she said excitedly and pointed to a door, half-concealed by a stone-pillar. 'It just through here and up a few steps'

'Ok' I began hesitantly 'Are you sure this is safe?'

'Course it is. I come here all the time'

I followed Sam up the narrow steps and soon we came to another wooden-door. She carefully opened it and I could feel the cold, night air as it hit my face. After I closed the door behind me I turned around and realized that we were standing in one of the old towers, the kind that probably would have been used for like astronomy or something like it in the good old days.

'Wow' I said as I looked over the edge and found the entire school-premises spreading out below me. 'This is brilliant. How did you find this place?'

'Like I've said before, you're not the only one out at night' she said with a smile and wrapped her arms around me.

I gave her a kiss before finally daring to say what I'd wanted to all night. 'I have a lot to learn about you, haven't I?'

'Yeah, I'd say so'

'Does is scare you?'

'Does what scare me? The fact that we're not supposed to be together, the fact that we are or the fact that I'm falling for you so fast that I can hardly keep up?' she said, mumbling the last piece quietly.

'All of the above, but mostly the last one' I said honestly.

'Yes'

'Do you think its worth it?'

Without a second thought she answered me 'Yes' and I felt relief flood straight through me. I can tell you this much, that when you find out that someone feels the same way about you, as you feel about them, well, it feels pretty damn good.

I watched Sam pull out a couple of blankets and spread them on the cold stone floor, and that's when it hit me that she planned this. She knew that she was going to bring me up here, show me her favorite place and bla bla bla…

My thoughts didn't end here, but my ability to voice them did, as Sam just took a seat on the blankets and put her hand out for me to join her. You'll have to excuse me, but in moments like that, well, brain-function kind of comes second.

'Here, lie back like this' Sam instructed as she did the same. She still held on to my hand, that she had grabbed before, and with the other one she pointed to the sky. 'You see that big star, directly over the lightning-thingy on the other roof?'

'Yeah'

'Then look a little bit to the left, that's my star. The little one surrounded by three big ones' she said dreamily, and I couldn't help but turn my head and look at her. I don't think she even noticed me doing so, her gaze was fixed on the stars in the sky, and I could clearly see how happy she was.

'Can you find a star for me?'

'Sure, what kind do you want, tiny pretty thing or big masculine?'

I let out a laugh 'Somewhere in between will do'

'Ok, look to the right of my star, you see that big one, kind of breaking through the lines that the three protective ones have built?'

'Yeah'

'That's you'

I squeezed her hand tighter as tingles raced through my entire body 'Are you speaking in metaphors now?'

'I might be'

'Cool'

'Cool'

'Jellybean?' Sam suddenly asked me and I looked down to find a bag in her outstretched hand. How did I miss her taking her hand down and picking up that bag? I thought, wow, stars do weird things to me.

'You brought jellybeans for dessert?'

'Yup, why, are you complaining?'

'Me, candy, in multiple colours and flavours? I would never'

And that was the truth. Cause I really never would. I love candy, I think its one of the better things in life. Sadly I don't get as much of it as I would like, since the candy-supply to Wintworth is rather non-existent, especially if you don't have anyone to send it to you.

Ok, stop with the wining about ill-minded parents who don't give me enough candy. All I'm saying is, is it that weird that I like some sugar every now and then?

No, didn't think so either.

'Ew liquorice' Sam said with the cutest look of disgust on her face, which really only made me laugh 'I hate them, who in their right mind would ever flavour a jellybean with liquorice?

'I take it you feel pretty strongly about this' I laughed as I took another bean.

'Doug! If you just put a liquorice one in your mouth I am never kissing you again'

I chewed once and then twice and that unmistakable taste of liquorice filled my mouth. Oh shit, what the hell do I do now? I thought, think Doug, THINK. What if she's serious, and never kisses you again, what are you going to do then…?

Ok, fake a yawn, that can get you out of almost everything. Here goes nothing. I casually faked a yawn while, without moving to much, slipping the bean into my hand and chucking it over the wall. 'No liquorice here' I said with a gulp. 'Would you really have stopped kissing me though, if it had been liquorice I mean?'

Sam shook her head 'Nah, maybe for a minute or two, I cant really hold a grudge'

'Good to know' I said and leaned closer, gently pecking her lips.

She carefully ran her tongue over her lips 'Doug! Ah, I knew it was liquorice, you cheeky…'

She didn't say anything more though, cause I very swiftly cut her off with yet another kiss, and this time, she didn't complain about the taste.


	10. Chapter six

_**I was just re-reading the first chapters of this and realised I completely jump between past and present all the time, which must be so annoying to read. So, I do apologise for this, I work hard on keeping it grammatically correct, and I hope its gotten better since then. **_

_**Chapter six**_

_**Too deep too fast**_

**I forgot this part in the last post, so you get it here instead. **

'I know I said this before, but I still cant believe that you took me on a date' Sam said about an hour later, from her spot wrapped up in my arms. I gave her a kiss on the top of her hair before pulling the blanket closer around us.

'Hopefully we can do it again' I said and just like that the mood was gone and reality hit. Boom crash. Clever Doug, stupid fucking clever. 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to spoil the mood'

'No worries' Sam replied quietly 'We're not thinking about reality right now, right?'

'Right, I am sorry though because I…'

'Doug' she cut me off by placing her hand on my cheek 'You think to much. I think a little less thinking and a little more, well, I can think of a few things, yeah, you get my drift'

'I get your drift' I responded, but I knew, somewhere deep down, that the mood was still ruined. And for some reason, I had a feeling Sam knew it too, it was just that neither of us wanted it to be like that.

…

This part of the story is currently unavailable. This due to the main character - ME - being, ehm, busy with stuff. Not stuff like that though, I know what you people think, and, eh, ok you might not be too far off. Ha, am I putting images in your heads now? I hope so.

Right, I'm currently to happy to describe what happened. Think of it as intermission.

Intermission. Dougiemission.

So, for a first date that wasn't supposed to happen, I'd say it went pretty well. Ok, I know, I know, I shouldn't hold back, it went fucking amazing, excuse my language, and I feel like screaming it from the rooftops or something else just as cliché as that.

'_Standing on the rooftops everybody scream your heart out__'_

Yeah, something like that. But maybe not as depressing. Or, you know what I mean. While I think of it, have I told you recently just how amazing I am? Nah, didn't think so either. Well, fact of the day about me, aka Dougie, is that I love music. And with love I just don't mean love like love, its more of a love. You cant really tell, but I am pronunciation them differently, so it might not be as clear in writing, but its really clear in my head. In fact, most things are very clear in my head and then when I try to get it out, well, it just doesn't come out the same way. Or it sounded a lot better in my head. Well, that sounded a lot better in my head as well. Talk about living example.

Oh, I cant believe I just said that. 'It sounded better in my head'. God, here I try to keep it original and away from clichés and then.. Ahh.. My brain is malfunctioning a bit at the moment. For two reasons I think. One: a really embarrassing song just started playing (if I haven't told you yet, I am currently sat on my bed, in front of my laptop, which I have cause I'm spoiled and so on and on) on shuffle and I cant really think properly. And don't tell me to change it, cause I don't want to change it, really. I have this thing about keeping the track-count as accurate as possible on my computer, and I am weird (which you already knew) so sometimes I have to listen to any song that comes on. It is as simple as that. I know you're all waiting for me to tell you which song it was, but I wont. Come on, I let you into the deepest and darkest corners of my mind and life, just let me have this on to myself.

And two: Hm, I think I… Nah, I have nothing. Sorry.

Anyway, what's new you might want to know? Nothing much, I still think too much, at least according to Sam, but it doesn't really bother her that much since all I think about is her. Yeah, I have become a bit more relaxed around her now, I don't fear that she will leave me if I say the wrong thing every seconds. I have gotten it down to a mere four times a day, which I would say is quite a good progress. I am awfully proud of myself.

I shall shut up now, and get back to the story, cause I'm pretty sure you are quite sick of me and my thoughts now. Not that you could ever get completely bored of them…but you know what I mean.

'Psst' I whispered, or whatever it is you do when you Psst at someone. 'Psst'

'Oh come on Doug, I can see you, you know' Sam said putting her hands on her hips.

I smirked at her 'Excuse me then, I just thought I'd be a bit smooth for once'

'Aww Doug' She cooed placing her arms around my neck 'You'll always be smooth to me'

'You're way too good for me'

'Nah' she shook her head hiding her blushing cheeks.

I put my hand under her chin and lifted her head so that our eyes locked again. 'It's true'

Maybe I should explain this a bit to you. We walk and talk. At night. Ok, not so much to explain I realise now. But, then again, I do like the sound of my own voice. I could probably go on forever really. I wont though, so don't run away on me now, I'm only joking, as always.

I had realised over the last couple of days, me and Sam had now officially been 'together' for eight days - not that I'm counting or anything, that time here at school went by just a little bit quicker when you had something really really good to look forward to every night.

Or, every night is a bit of an overstatement. Its not like we're one of those couples who breathe for each other, well, we cant be so… but we do spend a lot of time together.

Sometimes I had to set Sam aside for homework and such though, and, get this, I actually do most of my assignments these days. Mainly cause Sam still tutors me, and damn she can be strict when she wants to. She might be small and all nice-looking, but, it pains me a bit to admit, I am scared of her, so I just do what she tells me to. I found it easier that way.

Oh, what do you know. I have adapted to being a couple. Hm, I wonder if that's a good or bad thing. Maybe if we manage to keep this up, I'll even start to do more stuff like that, I thought.

'Nah' I chuckled 'Like that would ever happen'

'Are you talking to your own head again?' Sam asked me the second I realised that I wasn't alone.

'Yeah'

'Any good?'

I nodded 'Yeah, it was quite rewarding this time'

'Cool' she added before stifling a yawn. 'Mm, I'm sleepy'

'I'll walk you back to your room' I said and took her hand in mine and set off along the corridor. I didn't get very far though, or I didn't get very anything cause Sam didn't more. 'You have to move your feet to get somewhere'

'Can you carry me?' Sam asked with one of those "please do this for me even though it's the silliest thing and I smile like this cause its so stupid"-smiles.

'Fine' I said with a pretend sigh. 'Piggyback?'

'Yes please!' Sam giggled as I turned around. 'Home please'

I tried to keep a straight face even though both me and Sam knew I was grinning my head off. 'Your wish is, as always, my command'

…

_**Sam**_

X divided by three followed by the exponent times 2, that should be 156 times 2 which is 312 which is so wrong it couldn't be any more wrong even if I'd tried, I thought as I threw my pen on the floor and collapsed over the books. What the hell is this? I'm good at maths, maths is what I do, when have I ever had a problem with an equation like this before?

'Never' I said out loud 'Fuck this stupid shit' And what, since when do I talk like that?

I let out a frustrated sigh and grabbed another pen, ignoring the fact that I just threw my seventh pen on the floor.

I had been sat by my desk for the past two hours now, trying my hardest to catch up on the ridiculous amount of homework that was currently covering it, but, as you might have guessed, it wasn't really going my way. I was really surprised though, of course I had ignored my homework before, but never in this extent. I looked to my left and noticed an English-paper with tomorrows due-date on it. What the hell am I doing? I had never been late with any kind of homework in my entire life, and why I suddenly was struggling so hard was kind of a mystery to me. I say kind of, cause I really knew the reason to why I was so far behind, I just didn't want to admit it.

I rummaged through my desk drawer for a calculator when I came across a familiar note. I smiled as I lifted it up, and I felt my heart do a little jump when I unfolded it and read the words over and over again. I glanced at the numbers in my book, and then back at the note and made a decision.

I looked at my watch and realised it was already half nine. The hallways should be pretty empty then, I thought as I stood up.

I knocked lightly on the door and took a step back as I waited for someone to answer it. A few seconds later I heard voices and soon the door opened and I found Danny standing there.

'Hi' I said with a smile

'Hey' he said and stepped aside 'Come on in'

'Thanks, ehm, is Dougie here?'

'Yup, he's in the shower, but I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you surprised him in there' he said with a chuckle.

'Yeah right' I laughed 'I'm sure he wouldn't, not that its going to happen though'

'Are you two talking about me?' Doug asked as he walked in from the bathroom.

'Maybe' I replied and Danny just chuckled.

'I'll be back in like two seconds' Doug said after giving me a quick kiss on the cheek.

'Why are you here anyway? I mean, not that I mind, I so don't mind, but we hadn't made any plans for tonight, had we?'

'No, I just wanted to see you, is that so bad?'

'Bad? You? Never' He replied with a smile as he took my hand 'So, how's your day been anyway?'

I shrugged her shoulders 'Boring. Yours?'

'Alright, math wasn't too bad today, and to Steaddy's dismay I even answered a question right' he said with a grin. And I could easily tell how much it had meant to him to get a question right and to prove Mr Steadman wrong.

'That's good' I nodded, winching on the inside as I thought about maths and the fact that I really ought to be doing them right now.

Suddenly Dougie stopped walking and stepped in front of me. He placed an arm on my shoulder and looked me deep into my eyes. 'Are you ok? You seem a bit distant'

'Huh? I'm fine, I just don't feel like thinking about schoolwork right now. Can we talk about something else?'

'Course we can' he said, but I knew he realised I was holding something back. But, being Doug and all he let it go, which I was very grateful for. 'So…um, how's Trinny doing?'

…

Time flies when your having fun. Yeah, that's a pretty good saying cause its really does. Not that I had any idea of how long I had been walking around with Dougie by that point, sometimes time kind of seizes to exist when you're walking around in your own little bubble, but I had a feeling it was getting pretty late.

I was currently sat in a window with Doug standing in front of me, being perfect height for me to rest my arms on his shoulders quite comfortably.

'Did you know that you are perfect as a armrest?'

'Hm, no I didn't. Well, one more thing to add to my everlasting list of stuff that makes me amazing'

I giggled 'Is there a list like that?'

Dougie shot me this look like he couldn't believe what I'd just said 'Of course there is, its called the ELSTMMA-list'

'Catchy'

'I know, I think that as long as I give people a chance to get used to it, it will catch on'

I chuckled and was just about to reply when I heard something that sounded a lot like rubber on stone. And not just any particular rubber either…

'Shh, did you hear that?' I said placing my hand over Doug's mouth to stop his laughter from sipping out. 'There's a teacher coming'

'Oh fuck' he said as he looked around in panic.

'Hide' I said quickly and after jumping of the ledge I pushed him deeper into the shadows, myself stepping back into the hallway.

'What?' He said pulling me back in 'I'm not letting you take the blame for this'

'Come on Doug, you know they're gonna go easier on me'

'But…'

'No buts, you cant afford another strike, I can, its as simple as that'

He tried to object again but I just shook my head and remained fully visible out in the hallway while the person got closer and closer. Be a student, be a student, I kept on repeating, but I knew it wouldn't be. Of all the teachers it could be though, I knew exactly who I didn want it to…

'Miss Hershley'

I turned around and came face to face with no one other than Mr Steadman 'Miss Hershley, are you aware that you are in the male-side of the school? And that curfew was' he looked down at his watch '2 hours ago'

'Yes, Mr Steadman' I started trying my hardest to make it as tearful as possible. 'I'm so sorry, I just couldn't sleep and I was wandering around and I just ended up here'

'This is not looking too good for you Miss Hershley, first what we talked about the other day and now this. I have to say I'm a bit disappointed in you'

I just stood there trying to think of the right thing to say while watching Dougie in the corner of my eye. He made a move and I realised he was about to jump out.

'Don't' I said, a lot louder than I intended.

'Excuse me?'

'Ehm…'

'Come with me please' Mr Steadman continued in a stern voice. 'Now'

He turned his heel and walked down the corridor and I couldn't do anything other than follow. I glanced over my shoulder for a short second and I could see Doug standing in the middle of the hallway looking after me with a guilty expression covering his face.

'Miss Hershley' Steadman began as he stopped outside my door. 'This is hardly the time, nor place for this conversation, but I must say, this is not looking too good for you'

'I know Mr Steadman, but I am really sorry, I didn't mean to miss curfew and end up in the boy's part of the school'

He looked at me, as if he was contemplating telling me something else, but then decided not to. 'I will have to tell Mrs Adams about your slip-up, and I do believe we'll have to have a talk about this all together. I know how important this is for you and I am sure we'll be able to work this out'

'Yes Mr Steadman. Good night Mr Steadman'

'Good night Miss Hershley'

I closed the door behind him and rested my back against it. 'Fuck' I said out-loud before sliding down so that I was sat on the floor 'fuck'.

_**Dougie**_

Watching Sam disappear like that, I have to say, it took every ounce of my determination to not run after her and explain everything to Steadman, and I still don't exactly know why I didn't. Despite the fact that Sam told me that I shouldn't and all that stuff about my record not being able to take it, now that I think about it, Mr Steadman would have been bound to go easier on me than on Sam. If it had been me, I would just have missed curfew and nothing more. But for Sam, being in the boys part of school and missing curfew, well, those two combined isn't the best thing. As I realised this I couldn't help it but banged my head against the wall repeatedly, why the hell do I always think of these things afterwards, I thought. Why couldn't I, for once, have come up with this before Sam took the blame for everything?

---

As I walked down those familiar hallways a few nights later I couldn't help but wonder if this was something I would be keeping up. I mean, don't get me wrong, I loved spending time with Sam, but every now and then reality made itself known and I realised the number of risks we took to be together. Sure, it was worth it, big time, but still, never being able to see her in daylight and hold her hand like a normal couple, well, it was starting to take its toll on me. Both mentally and physically. I have very few needs here in life, sadly sleep is one of them, but I really couldn't complain too much. I had Sam. Or I thought I did anyway, but since the disaster the other night, I wasn't really sure where we stood at all.

344 steps. I counted it once when I was bored, and I even surprised myself when I counted all the way. Bet you didn't think I could focus for that long. Well, I could. It just had to be something especially weird for me to make the effort.

344 what? You ask. 344 Dougie-sized steps to get from my room to Sam's. It might seem like a lot, but it really wasn't. I mean, I have described the school to you, its freaking huge, 344 is nothing.

'342, 333, huh? no, 343, 344 and knock' I said to myself doing just what I narrated that I did. Or, not really, since I couldn't really knock, in case I woke Trinny up, but I stood there, in the shadows, mentally knocking. How Sam always knew I was standing outside, I guess I'll never know.

I had only been waiting for a few seconds when the door opened and Sam stepped out. 'Hi'

'Hi' she responded as she took my hand and dragged me along the deserted corridor.

'Are you ok?'

'Yeah, I'm fine, I just figured we'd better get out of sight as soon as possible, considering what happened last time and all…'

I nodded 'Clever, how did that go anyway? Are you in a lot of trouble?'

'Nah' she shrugged her shoulders 'Detention and lines, you know, the usual'

'What was the other thing he was talking about then, something about the other day?'

Sam remained quiet for a couple of seconds before answering me 'Nothing, it was nothing'

'But…'

'Just let it go Doug' she said and I did, even though I knew there was something she wasn't telling me. In fact, now that I thought about it, she had been like this more than once over the last week, but she always seemed to forget about it after a while. Surely, if it had been something really bad she wouldn't have been able to let it go like that, or she would have told me about it. Surely.

…

'Did you see that?' Sam said and put her hand on my chest.

'See what?' I asked as I brushed a strand of her out of her face.

'The lights just flickered. How could you not see that?'

I smirked at her 'I was kind of busy kissing you'

'Yeah, but, oh look, there they go again' she continued and this time there was no missing it since the lights went out completely.

'Its probably just a dodgy switch or something, They'll come on soon again, don't worry' I said into the complete darkness that was now covering the room. I felt Sam's grip around my waist tighten and to calm her down I placed my hand on her cheek 'Don't worry, you're safe with me'

'Promise' she whispered.

'I Promise'

About an hour later, when the cold in the tower had started to become a little bit much, I walked Sam back to her room. We didn't say much, but I didn't really mind. I was quite happy with how the evening had gone, and the fact that I was holding her hand, and she was holding mine back. I realise that it might seem like the tiniest thing, but at that moment, it meant the world to me. See, if you thought I wasn't romantic and appreciative of the little things here in life, well, I think I have proved you wrong by now. Don't you?

Sam leaned against the door, and I couldn't help but join her. She wrapped her arms around my waist and pulled me as close as I could possibly get. I felt a jolt of electricity race through my body the moment our lips met, and for about the 90th time that night, I prayed for the kiss not to end.

Sadly it did though, but to hear what Sam said next, well, it was kind of worth the lack of kissing for a second or two.

'Do you want to come in?'

I felt my heart skip a beat. 'Are you sure?' I asked sceptically 'What about Trinny?'

'She's home for the weekend, so its just me'

'Ok'

'So you'll come in?'

I nodded excitedly 'Yeah'

She untangled herself from my grip and opened the door instead 'This way then'

_**Sam**_

Affection makes you do stupid things. Right?

What I'm trying to say here, is that sometimes you do things even when you know that you shouldn't. Like I did that night. But I have to say though, that at that moment, it really didn't seem like a bad idea.

Dougie followed me into the room and after kicking my shoes off I jumped straight into bed. When I turned around I noticed Dougie standing in the middle of the room, kind of shuffling his feet and looking from side to side.

'Can I, um, join you?'

I nodded and tried my hardest to not let my nervous side shine through.

He crawled into bed and carefully laid down beside me, looking a bit lost. 'I've never slept with a girl before'

'Ok…'

'I mean, not slept slept, just slept you know. Sleep' he added while resting his head on his hands to emphasize it 'Sleep'

'Hm…' I smirked at him 'Hm'

'That is just evil… but fine, take pleasure in my pain' he said with a mock-hurt lock on his face.

'Don't worry Doug' I said inching closer and placing my arms around his chest 'Its only cause I like you'

He let me snuggle into his chest completely before wrapping one of his arms around me and pulling the covers up with the other. I took a deep breath and couldn't help but let out a quiet sigh out of happiness. I could feel his heart beat through his shirt and the rhythmic sound was almost hypnotically relaxing.

'Once upon a time…'

'What are you doing?'

'I'm telling you a bedtime story'

'Bu..'

'Shhh, just shut up and listen'

'Once upon a time in a land far far away there was this ridiculously handsome young boy. Some would call him devilishly handsome, but there were always a few lost souls who disagreed with that description'

'Lost soul?'

'Shhh. Anyway, one day this fair young boy was on his way home when he stumbled upon on a huge golden key. Curiously he picked it up and wondered where it could lead.

"Hm, I wonder where this huge gold key could lead?" He looked left and right and suddenly he noticed a house on his left. He walked over and wondered if he should try the key in the lock. "I wonder if I should try this key in that lock?"

I chuckled lightly 'He's quite stupid this one, isn't he?' I asked but closed my mouth when Doug shot me a look.

'He did and to his surprise it fit and the door swung open. "Hello" he yelled "Anyone here?"

Suddenly the most beautiful girl the handsome boy had ever seen in his entire life stepped out of the shadows. "I'm here, but this is my house, what are you doing here?"

"I found your key" they handsome boy said and handed it too her. "Oh" she cooed "Thank you ever so much, devilishly handsome young boy. How can I ever repay you?"

The handsome young boy thought long and hard "Are you single? Cause I just happen to be a prince in need of a marriage to get hold of my fathers kingdom, and well, you're hot and I'd quite like a hot wife" he finally asked.

"Sure" the girl answered with a smile and took his hand in hers and waited for the boy to sweep her off her feet with one of his mind-blowing kisses. The handsome boy pulled her close and kissed her with all his might and they lived happily ever after. The end'

'What? No dragons or evil stepmothers? No evil witches or good fairies? No trouble at all?'

'Hey, my story, my rules. And if you must know, the story was originally only about the devilishly good looking young man, I just added the girl for your sake'

'Hm, well, at least I got to be pretty'

'I wouldn't make you any other way' he said and gave me a light kiss on my cheek.

'You're still not devilishly handsome though' I replied and buried my face in his chest.

'You're so stubborn'

'Ahh, you like it' I added with a huge yawn that soon spread to Dougie as well.

I lifted my head up a little bit so I could look into his eyes and give him a proper kiss. I whispered 'Good night' before resting my head on his chest again.

Dozing off I felt him give me a kiss on my forehead before whispering 'Good night beautiful' and I couldn't help but smile as I drifted off to sleep completely.

…

_**Dougie**_

I heard Sam's breathing become more rhythmic and not long after that I felt myself drifting off to. I woke up a couple of hours later and for a split second I had absolutely no idea where I was. It didn't take me long to look down and notice Sam curled up in my arms though, and when I did I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face.

She had the cutest little frown on her face and I couldn't help but wonder what she might be dreaming about. Hopefully about me, but if she's frowning then maybe its better if she didn't. Hm, maybe I said the wrong thing in her dream too, I thought and let out a little chuckle. I immediately tensed up and held my breath just in case I had woken Sam up. She stirred a little but didn't open her eyes so I relaxed a bit again and closed my eyes for a second, only to open them and find Sam, once again, peacefully asleep in my arms.

I traced the outline of her face, followed every line and curve and carefully touched her cheek, just to check if it was as soft as I remembered it to be. As I did so Sam suddenly opened her eyes and instantly locked them with mine.

'What are you doing?' she muttered into my chest.

'I'm watching you sleep'

'In a creepy way?'

I snickered lightly before answering 'No, in a cute way'

'Oh, ok, keep going then' she mumbled sleepily as she closed her eyes and shuffled tighter into my arms.

Content with everything I closed my eyes and after only a few short seconds I was sound asleep again.

…

I heard the beeping. It was loud and obnoxious and I wanted it to stop. Come on brain, I thought with a groan, shut the stupid sound out. Strangely, it didn't work and the beeping noise just kept on going.

I felt Sam shift a bit and seconds later the beeping stopped. I sighed with happiness and then shivered all over as the cold air Sam had let in hit me. 'Brrr' I said to emphasise that I was freezing, and maybe to get some kind of reaction from Sam. 'Brrr'

'Be a man and suck it up, its just a bit of cold air' Sam muttered, but when I wrapped the covers tighter around us, the little sigh that she let escape told me that she was enjoying the warmth just as much as I was.

I didn't get back to sleep though, as I was soon rather bored with being the only one awake. 'Ow' She murmured still half asleep. 'Stop poking me, I'm sleeping'

'I know and I'm waking you up, its boring being awake without you'

'Fine' she muttered and slowly opened her eyes, only to find me staring down at her. 'How long have you been lying like that?'

'A while'

'So, you like to watch me sleep then?' she asked with a smirk.

'It's ok' I answered and shrugged my shoulders. 'I prefer it when you're awake though'

She nodded happily 'Good answer' .

'So, what shall we do now?' I continued impatiently.

'I don't know, you're the one who woke my up'

'We can always do this…' I said and inched closer to her, pulling the covers over my head with my free arm. I stopped when my lips were only inches away from hers and I was just about to kiss her when, yeah guess what?

Our lovely, warm little bubble was interrupted by the alarm going off, again. This time it didn't startle me as much, since I was already awake, it just annoyed me. 'Oh, come on' I said sticking my head out and trying to stare it down 'Stop beeping!'

'It doesn't work like that' Sam said through my chest and the vibrations from her lips sent tingles all through my body. 'He doesn't listen to common sense, you have to beat the crap out of him'

I chuckled lightly 'Don't mind if I do' and banged the clock, who was a man, on the head. The motion instantly filling me with some sort of weird satisfaction. 'Hm, is it weird that I feel all powerful and strong after beating up an alarm clock?'

'Not really, no'

I was just about to go back under the covers when I noticed something else. 'Hey, does the clock on his belly work?'

'Yeah' I felt Sam stir even more under the covers 'Why?'

'Cause its nine o'clock'

Sam shot up from bed and with a panicked look on her face she looked down at the clock 'Fuck'

She jumped off the bed and started running around the room picking things up and taking things off.

'Oh shit, we're late, no no no, I cant be late! Shit'

I sat up completely and ran my finger through my hair a couple of times. 'Sam'

When she didn't acknowledge me I stood up and walked up to her, placing my arm on hers. 'Sam, calm down, we've just missed first period, its nothing to worry about'

'You don't understand, I cant be late' she answered as her eyes franticly scanned the room again.

'Why?'

She shot me this look, like she was contemplating telling me something, but then, at the last minute, decided against it 'Just hurry up'

Still a bit confused I did as she told me and pulled on my sweater and my shoes and then stood by the door waiting for her to join me.

'Ok, you have to take the left hallway now, and I'll take the right one, if we get caught together we are dead' she instructed as she gathered up all of her books. 'Ok?'

'Ok' I replied 'But…'

'I've got to run now' she continued as she opened the door and pushed me outside 'Sorry Doug'

'I…'

'Bye'

'Bye' I said but she had already hurried off along the corridor, leaving me standing alone with a dumbstruck look on my face. What the hell just happened?


	11. Chapter seven pt one

_**Sorry for the wait. It was one of those tricky ones. **_

**Chapter seven**

**Happily never after part one**

_**2 years earlier - Sam**_

As I walked down the hallways that particular Friday I couldn't help but wonder if it would be my last time. I ran my hand along the cool stone walls and admired the view from the windows, the view I had gotten so used to see every day for the last six years.

When my parents had told me they couldn't pay for school anymore, well, to say it came as a shock is a bit of an understatement. I couldn't believe it. All my brothers had gone to Wintworth before me and being kicked out now, well, it just wasn't an option for me.

I had my friends - my life - here at Wintworth, they cant just expect me to give it all that up like that?

'But mum, I don't want to go to another school, I love Wintworth'

'Samantha' my mother began as she pity-looked at me 'We have discussed this before, and you know where we stand on this'

'But..'

'No buts, we will not pay for you to continue your studies here'

'What about Jake, Michael and Jared then? Why did you pay for all of them, and for the first six years of my education, only to cut me off now? Its not fair'

She gave me a small smile before pulling out the biggest cliché of all, only to add to insult really.

'Samantha, life isn't always fair'

To stunned to speak I focused my gaze on a particularly interesting crack on the opposite wall, where it remained until the door to the principals office opened. The secretary let us in and I reluctantly followed behind my mum, only going cause I knew it was my only chance to get a say in all of this. Not that it would matter though. It was my mother for Gods sake! If she wants something, and trust me on this, she will find a way to get it. New summerhouse in the middle of a wildlife-protected zone? Just another Tuesday for her. Take over china? Piece of cake.

It's no wonder my father married her. Oh, that was a bit harsh. I agree. But yet, she so deserves it.

If you can't tell, I was still a tad bit upset with her decision, and I knew she pulled the whole "me and your father"-crap, but we all know that it was just her. It's not like my father has any say, in anything. Sad really.

'Mrs Hershley, It's lovely to see you again, despite the circumstances' Mr Moonshine, the principal, began.

My mum held up her hand 'Excuse me, but I don't really see the point in having this meeting at all, we have already decided that Samantha is leaving the school. According to me there is nothing else to discuss'

'Mrs Hershley, your daughter has explained it to me very clearly that she wishes to stay here at Wintworth'

'Well I'm not paying for it'

Mr Moonshine shot me a sympathetic smile 'Your daughter is very bright, and here at Wintworth there are a number of different scholarships one can apply for. To lose a student like Samantha would be a great loss for us, I am sure there is some way to work this out'

My mother looked less than pleased upon hearing this but after a few seconds her stern look softened a bit. Maybe she just realised that she could keep me away and not have to pay for me? Hm, I know that it sounds like an awful thought to think, but at that moment, could you really blame me? I love my parents, of course I do, but I still hadn't fully understood their reasons for taking away on of the best things in my life. I suppose I was still a bit, well, angry with them.

Wait, scratch that, I was pissed off. I'm just to nice to say it out loud.

'Well, if you seem so certain Mr Moonshine' she began, now sounding less angry 'I will do my best to co-operate with you'

'I appreciate that Mrs Hershley, I'm sure that all of us in here only wants what is best for Samantha'

Pfft, allow me to Pfft. On the inside of course. But still, "the best for Samantha". Yeah right. Never in a million years.

…

Three hours later me and my mother were on our way back to the principals office. I had taken her on the mandatory tour of the school, even though she'd been here numerous times before, and showed her my room, everything in some small attempt to try and make her see how much it meant for me to be here. Not that it seemed to work though. Maybe my mother didn't know me aswell as I thought she did. Or maybe she did, but she just didn't want me to be here.

I couldn't really care though, I wanted to stay, I needed to stay, and right now, I was working hard on keeping hope alive for Mr Moonshine to come up with a solution to all of this. I think that was the only reason I survived three whole hours in my mothers company. She can be a bit smothering and suffocating and "I want to bang my head against the wall" in large doses. Which is only another reason to why I love Wintworth so much, it minimizes my doses to a mere three or four a year. And those are always with the rest of the family too, nothing I can't handle.

If you haven't noticed by now, my relationship with my mother, well, maybe it wasn't the best it could be. It might sound a bit harsh, but it really didn't bother me too much. I had learned to live with it I suppose.

'The door is open' the secretary said as we stepped into the office 'You can go straight in'

Mr Moonshine opened his mouth to greet us, but my mother instantly cut him off. 'Have you found a solution to our little problem?'

'Yes, I would think I have' he said, quickly recovering from his initial shock.

'Good, then there is no need for me to stay here, I have other, more important things to tend to' she added as she stood up to leave 'I trust that the rest is up to Samantha?'

'Yes, but…'

'Anything you wish to do is fine with me, I'm sure' she continued looking at me 'that you will tell me how it all went later'

I shrugged my shoulders, not really sure how to reply 'Sure'. Ha, watch me being the spoilt, immature child you already think I am. Ok, that was what I was thinking, on the outside, I probably looked and appeared just as sweet and nice as always. It's the eyes I think, it's all in the eyes.

'Good. Good day then'

'Good day'

As quickly as she came she was gone, and the door slamming behind her was the only real proof that she had ever been there. I turned back to Mr Moonshine with an apologetic look on my face.

'So, that was your mother?' he said with a small smile.

'Yup'

'Charming woman'

I couldn't help but giggle a bit at his comment. I sure had been thinking it, but I never thought he'd be the one to actually voice it. 'That's her biggest talent' I said with a smile, before it hit me 'Were you serious when you said that you thought that you'd found a way for me to stay here?'

He took of his glasses and placed them on the table 'I was very serious indeed. It will probably take a lot of work from your side, but if you are willing to make the extra effort, than I think I have the way for you to stay here at Wintworth'

'I will do whatever it takes'

'You do understand that you need to keep an A- average to keep the scholarship, right?' Mr Moonshine asked me after he had fully explained how I was to stay at the school. 'Even for someone as bright as you, it will take a lot of work. This is the most prominent scholarship we offer, and to be granted it is an immense honour'

'I understand, but trust me, that will not be a problem. I'll do anything to stay here at Wintworth' I finished with a smile, knowing very well that I meant every word that I just said.

**- End flashback -**

---

'Miss Hershley, I don't really know where to begin. You have always been one of our brightest students here and despite numerous warnings your grades have continued to slip. I thought that you would shape up after our talk, and then I find you out after curfew, which I normally would have overlooked in your case. But all of that, and the fact that you were over an hour late for class yesterday, I'm afraid I can't avoid this anymore. This has to change.'

He rummaged through a pile of papers on his desk and finally pulled out what I instantly recognized as my English paper. I cursed inwardly and tried my hardest to prepare for what was to come. I still only had one thought running through my mind though, how the hell did I get myself into this?

'Look at your last English-essay for instance, this is not the work of the Samantha we all know, this' he flipped over to the second page and ran his eyes along the words

'looks like it was written in half an hour'

Well, maybe because it was, I thought to myself as I desperately tried to think of something to say.

'Have you got anything to say to?'

'Not really' I said and looked down at my hands 'I've just, um, the last few weeks have been…weird'

'Weird?'

Yeah, I couldn't really tell him the real reason now could I? Yes Mr Steadman, you see, I met a boy that I wasn't supposed to meet, and feel in love and started spending every night with him, letting my schoolwork suffer majorly and that's where I was this morning. In case you missed it, he spent the night in my room too, Oops.

So, telling the truth wasn't really an option for me, unless I wanted my life here at Wintworth to be over before I had even finished my charming little story.

I had always been quick thinking before, but at that moment, my mind was completely blank.

Ok, not completely blank, it had one thing, or person, covering most of it, but that was a whole different thing that I really couldn't think about either. Never had I been is such a need to turn my brain off. However, the answer didn't come to me in the form of some god-sent helium-balloon flying by outside the window flashing it's golden letters at me. Not that I wouldn't have appreciated it. No, it was just me and my blanked brain. Awesome.

'It's hard to explain'

'Try' he said with a voice not really leaving much choice.

'I just, ehm…' I shook my head as I came to a conclusion 'I don't know Mr Steadman, Mrs Adams, I have no excuses for my recent behaviour'

Mrs Adams looked at me as if trying to read my mind. I shifted a bit in my seat, not sure if she actually could or not.

'Samantha, are you sure there is nothing else bothering you? You don't have to be afraid of telling us if there was, we are here to help you'

I looked at both her and Mr Steadman before shaking my head 'It really isn't anything, I've just been slipping lately'

They glanced at each other before Steaddy, as Dougie always called him, spoke again. I almost missed what he had to say though, since the mere thought about Dougie made my heart ache.

'I didn't want it to come to this, but I'm afraid that I don't see any other way out of this. I'm going to have to put you on academic probation, but I have to warn you, if your grades don't pick up, you're going to loose your scholarship and you will be forced to leave the school'

'I understand' I said quietly thinking that that was it. And actually beginning to feel like I got off easily. Study a bit more for the next week or so and I would be alright again. I let out a small breath before looking back up at Mr Steadman's face and realising that he had more to say.

'But, its not like a normal probation, you have always been here on special terms, and this is no exception to that. The end-of term exams take place in a little under a month, if you do not perform at your very best at every one of these, you will loose your scholarship'

One month? I thought with shock. Is that the price of being smart? I get one month to fix this entire mess. That's just great. One more thing on my already overflowing plate.

I nodded and got ready to leave just as another thought hit me 'What about tutoring? Do I still keep that up?'

'I know how much tutoring means to you' Mrs Adams began 'But at this stage, I think the need is greater for you to focus on your own studies for a while'

'Oh, ok'

…

After leaving my little meeting with my teachers my head was a complete mess, even more than it had been before. I hurried along the crowded hallways keeping my head low so I wouldn't tempt anyone to stop me. All I needed now was some time to myself.

I reached my room and quickly got inside and slammed the door behind me. Repeating my action from the other night I slowly slid down the door, resting my head in my hands. 'How the hell did I get myself into this mess?' I asked out loud.

'Are you ok?' I heard Trinny speak and moments later a shuffling sound when she sat down next to me. She placed her arm around my shoulder and it wasn't until that moment that I looked up from where I had been hiding my tearstained cheeks.

'Aww, hun, what's wrong?'

I let out a little sigh before leaning closer to her 'You know that meeting I told you about this morning?'

'Yeah'

'It didn't really go too well?'

'They're not kicking you out, are they?' Trinny asked quickly, and I could hear a faint tone of panic in her voice.

'Not really, or not yet anyway'

'What do you mean by that?'

'Well…' I began and took a deep breath to steady my voice before I started off.

…

'What are you going to do?' Trinny asked after I repeated everything they said to her. She had remained quiet during my entire speech, the look on her face alone though, was enough to tell me how she felt about the whole thing. I could only imagine how my own looked at that state.

I looked down at my hands, where I was folding and unfolding the note Dougie gave me a long time ago 'There's only one thing I can do…'


	12. Chapter seven pt two

_**I had to edit this post a bit, there was something in here that shouldn't come until the next one. So, sorry for those of you who have to read it twice. **_

_**Part two**_

_**Dougie**_

'2 months until Christmas boys, I so cant wait' Danny exclaimed excitedly 'Finally a break from all of this'

'Yeah' Harry nodded '2 months and about a million different assignments. Sounds like a jolly good time to me'

'Don't be such a downer Harry, we're happy now. No school-worries allowed in this room'

'He's got a point you know' Tom added from his spot on the floor. 'Lets not think about school today'

'Fine, I can do that. Gladly. So, what are we talking about then?'

Danny shrugged his shoulders 'I don't know…girls?'

'Again?' Harry moaned from the corner 'Not that I'm not a massive fan of girls, but its more fun talking about them when you can actually see them every once in a while. And' he continued raising a finger at Danny to silence him 'It doesn't matter if Doug gets to see one. We can't all live through him'

'Good point' Tom agreed with a chuckle.

'But its not like we have anything else to talk about, Doug and Sam just happens to be the most exiting thing to happen to any of us in a while, and I really don't think it is that strange that we feel a need to talk about it every now and then. And I say we and mean it. You lot cannot pretend not to care, I know you do, it's girls for god's sake, and this is the closest we can get to them. How can we not be expected to talk about it all the time?' He asked rhetorically before continuing. 'We are only human boys, its in our genes, and if all goes well, maybe I'll even be introduced to that fit blonde soon, which reminds me, where did I put that paper now? Oh, well, I'll find it. Anyway…'

Of course he kept on talking here, I just got tired of taking it in properly.

During Danny's little monologue Harry just kept staring on him with this bemused look on his face. I knew exactly what he was thinking though, it's not like he's that hard to read you know. The wonders of Danny's head, it can put anyone under a complete daze, no matter how strong you claim to be young Harold. You have fallen, just like the rest of us before you.

Ok, I'll lay off the doomsday talk now. You couldn't really blame me for trying to fight my boredom though, considering chuckles everlasting speech over there.

'Does that happen a lot?' Tom asked me while hinting at Danny who was still gesturing and talking to himself on the floor.

I slowly shook my head 'Only on the days that end with a y'

…

I heard a faint knock on the door but I couldn't really be bothered. I was too deep in the movie we were watching to actually stand up and walk all the way over there. Call me lazy, but trust me, if you were in my shoes, you wouldn't have moved an inch.

'Dan, someone's at the door' I muttered.

'Yeah, so?'

'Open it'

'You open it'

'My legs don't work' I said, while trying with all my might to keep myself from laughing. I knew very well that Danny was grinning as wildly as I was, but I think that both of us were quite thankful for the darkness right now.

Our fights like this always work better in darkness for some reason. Might be because none of us have very good poker-faces, or Danny is convinced he does, but, nah. Like that boy ever could keep something in, he'd be bursting from within after about 20 seconds. The poor sucker.

'Well, my hand doesn't work'

'What do you need your hand for?' I asked confused.

'To open the door'

'Use your foot'

Danny let out a quiet snort 'Yeah, cause that worked so very well last time'

I couldn't help it, and seconds later a loud chuckle escaped my lips. It wasn't really my fault though, you try to keep a straight face when you picture Danny stuck with his foot, that he somehow managed to get wedged in between the door-handle and the door.

Did I forget to mention though, that he was outside our room, in the middle of the day, dressed in his Spiderman PJ's? And that his foot might have been superglued to that position?

Quite a remarkable sight really.

But, I suppose I should fess up to my own part in it, I might have been the one to tell him to open it with his foot. It was only revenge though, from that time when he dared me to do a naked run on the slippery slope slide that we'd created next to the school swimming pool, only to find out that he'd mixed glue in the soap. Yeah, I'll spare you most of the details, but I can say this: don't try that at home. It hurts, in places where you really don't want it to hurt. Badly.

Oh, that reminds me, I still haven't gotten him fully back for that one yet. A prank like that really deserves a two-part revenge. Awesome! Gives me something to do on Sunday then.

'Doug?' I was warily aware of someone calling my name, but it didn't quite register. It wasn't until I realised that it was Tom's voice, he's the reasonable one after all, that I snapped back to reality a bit.

'Huh?'

'It's for you'

I turned towards the door and could just make out a familiar figure standing next to Tom. I quickly scrambled up from the floor and walked over to where Tom was standing with the stupidest grin on his face. Seriously Tom? I might have expected this from Danny but not from you…That boy just manages to get to everybody. I really wondered how he did it? It would be a pretty cool thing to be able to do.

Suddenly Tom slapped me on the cheek, and as I opened my mouth to say something I realised that I had drifted off again. He shook his head, still grinning though, obviously proud of himself, and left me alone at the door.

'Hi' Sam said quietly and I focused my eyes on her instead of the floor. Why is it that my eyes always end up on the floor? It's a bloody useless quality.

'Hi' I replied with a huge smile. A smile that she didn't respond to though.

'Can you come out for a minute' she asked me in the same quiet tone.

'Sure' I nodded, a little bit confused over the look on her face as well. I took one last look into the room and found the others looking at me with knowing smiles, before following Sam out into the hallway and shutting the door behind me.

'What are you doing here?' I asked, but to be completely honest, something told me that I might not want to hear her answer.

'Um… we need to talk' I heard her say the words and instantly I held my breath. Cue doomsday music, lightening and cascades of rain…this was not going to be pretty.

I turned the music off as soon as I could, why was it that just because she utters a phrase that might in some ways be a bad one, I have to jump to the worst possible conclusion, and just assume the world has come to an end? Well, not literally to an end, but you get what I'm talking about here.

I couldn't do much about the lightening and rain though. The look on her face along with those words, I didn't really know what to think, but I felt my entire body tense up, as if preparing for a fall.

'Can we talk in there?' she asked and pointed to an empty classroom, that we'd obviously reached without me even being aware of walking.

Not being able to form a proper sentence I simply nodded and followed her into the room, where I took a seat on an empty chair. She remained standing though, and by now my head was filled with millions of possible scenarios how this could end. Sadly, none of them were any good. Damn me and my negative brain. Could you really blame me though? No hello-kiss, no holding hands, not even a smile and then those faithful words. "We need to talk". I must say, up to that point I had never really believed that people actually used that phrase, but there I was, right smack in the middle of one of the biggest cliché phrases of all.

If you're wondering why my head kept on going like this, it's only a defence-mechanism. Like a shut-down thing. Almost the same as 'blank Danny mode' but more effective.

'What do you want to talk about?'

I noticed that she kept her eyes locked on her hands or on the floor, as if trying her hardest not to look at me at all.

'Ehm, I can't keep doing this'

'Doing what?' I asked her slowly, not really wanting to hear anymore.

'This, us, I can't do it anymore'

'You're breaking up with me?' I said the words but they didn't seem to come from me. It was like some back-up system took over when my brain was too busy protecting something else. In this case, my heart.

'Why?' I asked bluntly 'Correct me if I'm wrong, but you seemed to like it just as much as I did'

When Sam didn't respond I stood up and angrily pushed the chair back. 'Can you at least look at me? I think I deserve that much'

Finally she lifted her head and locked her eyes with mine. I looked into them, like I had so many times before, but this time they were different. I noticed how red and puffy they were, and realised that she must have been crying, but I really didn't care at that point, I just wanted an answer.

'Why?'

'Cause I don't want to, ok?'

'You don't want to…' I repeated and I swallowed hard as the lump in my throat got bigger and bigger by the second. 'Why did you go this far then? Was it all a game to you?'

A shocked expression flew over her face as I said that 'No, it was all real'

I took a step closer to her 'If it was all real, then why end it? Was it something I did?'

'No'

'Then why?' I snapped, harsher than I intended, but at the same time it felt good to get rid of some of the anger. 'Why are you breaking up with me?'

'I can't do this anymore' she repeated and I got the impression that she was reading it from a sign behind me. This wasn't the Sam I knew. The Sam I knew would never do this to me.

Not believing her I took another step and grabbed her by the arms 'Why are you talking like this? This is not you'

She wrenched free from my grip and let out a quiet sob 'How do you know that?' she shouted as a single tear ran down her cheek.

'Cause I know you'

'If you knew me that well' she continued coldly 'Than you wouldn't fight me like this. You would walk away'

Upon hearing this I thought that my heart was going to fall out of my chest. Every word that came out of her mouth cut through me like the sharpest knife and the pain was so extreme I felt like screaming. 'Is that what you want?' I yelled back 'Do you want me to leave?'

Sam took a few steps away from me before answering with a single word 'Yes'

As my heart fell to pieces she turned around but she didn't leave the doom, she just stood there, shaking.

I don't know how long we remained like that, it could have been seconds as well as hours, and as the atmosphere in the room got thicker and thicker I couldn't think of what to do. Suddenly I felt like I was watching from the outside, like nothing of this was real, and it was just two other people. Two other people that I didn't have to care about.

The pain kept me grounded though, and to say what I said next took all of the little strength I had left inside me.

'Do you know that it's my birthday today?' I asked quietly in a tone completely free from all form of emotion.

Sam turned around and looked at me with a shocked expression 'What?'

'Yeah, you're breaking up with me on my fucking birthday!'

'Doug' she began but interrupted herself by sobbing loudly.

'Don't' I said harshly, trying to stay mad so I wouldn't feel the pain threatening to tear me apart from the inside. 'Just don't'

I turned away from her and focused my eyes on the door. My escape. Shut down, I won't feel a thing.

'Thanks' I said, before taking a few steps towards the door.

'Thanks for what?'

'I passed the test, I'm officially off probation' I added and when I said that last bit I turned around again and looked at her tiny form.

'I'm happy for you' she said quietly while franticly trying to wipe away the tears that were now running down her face.

I shot her one last look before walking out of the room and slamming the door behind me. Some part of my brain was wondering about the tears, but I was too hurt to even think that thought. She doesn't care. I don't care.

For once I didn't wander the hallways. Or I might have, I'm not sure, my head was so messed up at that point I could have been doing anything.

I walked down the dark hallways and for every step I took it got harder and harder to breath. I think it was the events of the evening finally setting in, and fastening its claws around my already crumbled heart, cause all I felt like doing was screaming. I wanted the pain to stop and maybe, if I screamed loud enough it would go away.

I opened my mouth to scream but nothing came out. I slammed my fist against the stone wall and felt the skin break, but it didn't faze me. I was already dying inside, nothing could make it worse.

Somehow I managed to find my way back to my room. I placed my hand on the handle only to instantly remove it again when I remembered that this was where Sam had been standing before. At this exact spot.

I quickly opened the door and closed it behind me, finally letting out the breath I hadn't even been aware of holding. With a sob I rested my forehead against the cool wood and closed my eyes.

'Are you ok' I heard a voice say, and I spun around, not expecting Danny to be up at this hour. At first I blanked him completely and focused on walking over to my bed instead, but after a few seconds I grunted something as a response. And to be honest, it was the only sound I could produce at that moment without breaking apart completely.

As if he knew, I heard Danny leave his bed and walk over to mine. Without turning on the light he sat down next to me and let out a small breath.

'Are you ok?'

I let out a sigh not wanting to let the tears threatening to fall do so 'No'

'Did something happen? I mean, between you and S…'

I interrupted him quickly, not wanting to hear her name 'She broke up with me'

'Oh…um' Danny was at loss for words, and I knew it, but I just wanted him to say something like he always did, anything to take my mind off this.

'I thought the felt the same way about me too' I whispered quietly.

'I'm sorry mate' he said placing his hand on my shoulder 'I'm really sorry'

…

_**Sam**_

I've worked my ass off to go to this school, it means too much for me to give up. That was the only thought flowing through my head at that point, mostly because all other thoughts were forbidden, and I needed something to help me keep my focus.

The tears that had been threatening to fall ever since I realised what I had to do, were now closer than ever. I had interrupted Doug, in the middle of what seemed like a nice evening with his friends and dragged him out into the hallway to break his heart. I can't even begin to describe how that felt.

To see the smile on his face when he opened the door just made me realise how badly I didn't want to do this, but I knew that I had to. I had tried to juggle everything and failed miserably. Sadly this was the price I was forced to pay.

By this point I was shaking all over. I had barely said a word to Doug, other than when I asked him to step outside with me, and I could tell that he was beginning to wonder about my sudden appearance and my silence. He followed me to an empty classroom and I closed the door behind us. I heard him take a seat on a chair but I couldn't look at him. I knew that if I did, I wouldn't be able to do what I had to do.

'Why?' He snapped angrily, and the tone of his voice made me shiver all over. I had never seen him like this before, and the fact that it was all my fault was tearing me up from the inside.

He had asked me the one question that I didn't have an answer to. I didn't want to lie to him, but I couldn't tell the truth either. I couldn't let him know that I was choosing something else over him. Not when I knew that I would always be his first choice.

'Was it all a game to you?' he asked me and I could hear the sorrow in his voice. Hearing that almost made me collapse. How could I be doing this? How could I hurt him like this, when all I really wanted was to stay wrapped up in his safe arms forever?

I felt a single tear fall down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away so that he wouldn't see. I didn't feel like I deserved to cry. He forced me to look at him which only made it worse. I saw his beautiful eyes darkened with anger and knowing that I had done this to him was too much to handle. I broke free and turned my back to him to hide the tears that were now falling freely.

'Doug' I said weekly, wordlessly trying to make him understand, to make him see why I was doing this, but he wasn't having any of it. I might not have known him for long, but I could tell that his defences were up, he wasn't going to be the victim anymore.

When the realisation hit me, that I had just destroyed the best thing in my life I turned away again, but I was stopped when he spoke again.

'Thanks' he said quietly, and I couldn't help but ask.

'Thanks for what?'

'I passed the test, I'm officially off probation' he added as he turned around to look at me.

I swallowed deeply before mustering a weak 'I'm happy for you'

He passes, I fail. I can't do anything right anymore, I thought, and as the door slammed behind him I collapsed into a crying pile on the floor. Please let this be a bad dream, I begged, please say that it wasn't me who just did that. Please don't let this be real.

…


	13. Chapter eight

_**Chapter eight**_

_**Tomorrow remember yesterday **_

_**2 years earlier - Dougie**_

I was once again sat in a preppy principals office, in front of a huge walnut-desk and surrounded by overwhelming bookcases, painted blokes with beards and stuffed owls, eyeing another old fool thinking he was better than me. Third one in two days I think, and I was getting pretty sick of it. I knew my parents wanted to get rid of me, but I never thought they actually cared about where I ended up. Who knew?

'We are very proud of our school here at Wintworth, it has excelled for the last 120 years and will for many more. This is where we shape young boys into men' The principal said as part of his lame-ass speech that had currently occupied us for about ten minutes.

'Are you sure this is the right school for Dougie?' my mother asked as she looked at me 'My son isn't the sharpest tool of the bunch'

Well mother dearest, neither are you, it's in the box.

'Box' I said quietly

'Did you say something?

'It's box, sharpest tool in the box'

'Watch your attitude young man, that is no way to speak to your mother' my mother snapped quickly.

'Don't worry Mrs Poynter' the principal said while looking down at me, like he knew, from the second he saw me, that he didn't like me. 'We can whip him into shape'

'Don't worry mum, we'll have a jolly good time' I said sarcastically and slumped deeper into my chair. Obnoxious teenager is what I do best, I thought with a small smile.

I wasn't really like that though, I just liked to push peoples buttons. Especially know-it-alls like this particular principal. Call me weird, but I found it a pretty enjoyable past-time.

…

Three days later I was standing outside the main entrance, my two bags dropped at my feet and a big, perfume stinking kiss on my cheek. I watched my parents car drive away and even gave them a little silly wave to show them off. Might aswell give them something to remember me by.

I turned towards the school-building and I couldn't help but feel a tad bit intimidated. I mean, it was huge, and grey, and all castle-like, and the iron gates didn't exactly make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside if you get my drift. Yeah, not much I could do about that though, this place was going to be my home for the following three years. Yay.

'Poynter?!' I heard someone shout and I turned my focus back on the stairs in front of me. I noticed a boy about my age coming towards me. 'You Dougie?'

'Yeah' I nodded not really sure what to do. 'Me Dougie'

'Ohh, you've got a sense of humour, awesome' he responded with a chuckle before extending his hand 'Hi, I'm Danny'

'Dougie, nice to meet you'

'Follow me and I'll take you around the school and stuff'

'Ok…' I said warily picking up my bags. 'I don't know if I'm supposed to know this, but, ehm, who are you?'

Danny turned around and, very dramatically, smacked himself on the forehead 'Shit! I'm sorry, I always forget that stuff. I'm your roommate, and at this school, when someone new arrives we get sent out to take care of you, kind of. It's not exactly the warmest welcome maybe…'

I snickered 'No worries, the less people the better I think'

'Cool, so, if you have any questions, I will try my best to answer them, I probably wont be able to though, but in that case, I will pass them along to one of our more informed students'

'Cool' I nodded as I followed him into the school-building. I didn't do much questioning though, let's just say I was busy taking everything in. Yeah, I'll let you fill in the blanks here. Fucking HUGE is the appropriate word I'd think.

Thousands of steps later I took a seat on my new bed and curiously took in my new surroundings.

'So you mean that there are girls here, we just aren't allowed to see them?'

'Basically, yes' Danny replied as he slumped down on his own bed.

'Hm, I don't know what to say to that'

'I know, it's a bit of a shock innit?'

'You could say that, yeah'

He snickered to himself before looking over at me 'We have our ways to entertain ourselves though'

'Like what?' I asked confused.

'I'll fill you in on that tomorrow' he smiled 'Let's just say that young Tommy is in for an, eh, interesting day'

Leaning back on my pillows I couldn't help but feel strangely at home. One day and I already had a friend, and from what Danny explained, the others seemed pretty cool too, maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

Great loss, not having to stay with my parents, I thought with a smile. Yeah, likely. This is going to be so sweet.

**- End flashback - **

At that point, some part of me was actually happy about going to a school like this. Right now though, I wished I had never sat foot at Wintworth.

…

Why is it, that when you have a person you never want to see again, all you see is her? That when I tried to see her and talk to her, I couldn't, and now I can't stop running into her?

Why is it that it hurts so fucking much every time I try to move?

I couldn't even turn on the TV without seeing something that reminded me of her and it was starting to drive me insane. Therefore I had resorted to hiding under my covers. I enjoyed the comfort that they gave me, and despite Danny's pleas, I had no plan to come out any time soon. Hide my pain away, yeah, that was my way out of this hell I was currently in.

'You can't stay in there forever you know' Danny said for about the 7th time that day. It's weird how that boy never gives up, I thought gloomily, I bet he would never end up in a situation like this. Although this situation wasn't my fault. At least that's what Danny said 'It's not your fault mate' over and over again. Not that I believed him though.

I peaked my head out from the covers and attempted to quickly stare him down 'Watch me'

'You can superglue me to anything you want' Danny offered 'Even in the nude'

I flashed him a small smile 'Thanks mate, I appreciate the thought'

He remained quiet for a few minutes, obviously in deep thought

'Want to go and piss Harry off by touching his stuff?'

I haven't told you that, have I? Harry's a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to his stuff. I mean, it's not that strange that we like to touch it every now and then now is it?

The sound of Harry yelling through the hallways used to be my favourite way to wake up on weekends. Danny and I always took turns in who got to do it, and it never got old. 'Will you fucking stop touching my stuff!' seriously, just thinking about that made me want to smile.

And a normal day I wouldn't have thought twice about his proposition, but now, I just felt like diving back under my covers and staying there for eternity.

'No thanks'

'Let's go for a walk or something' Danny said suddenly 'I think it will do you good to get out of here for a while'

'What? Like outside? It's too cold' I muttered hiding even deeper under my covers.

'Doug! Get your ass out of that bed this instant!' Danny snapped before pulling the covers off me. 'You are getting up and there's no point in fighting it'

'Fine' I huffed and sat up 'Mom…'

He pointed at me 'Don't use that tone with me young man!'

I fought it for a few seconds before I realised that I couldn't stop it.

'You smiled!' Danny cheered as he pumped his fist in the air. 'Yeah baby!'

Good to know, I thought as a sad smile now lingered on my lips, despite my heart being mauled to pieces, I can still smile. Like that helps though.

'Get over yourself mate' I said, mostly for Danny's sake, before I grabbed my coat and walked over to the door.

Once outside the school I turned to Danny. 'So, where are we going now oh wise one?'

He shot me a look before opening his mouth 'I don't know, let's walk around the grounds or something'

'Fine' I replied and started off along the track. It didn't hit me until we reached the part where the trail splits up into two that I recognized where we were. On my left was the very same tree that Sam had been hiding behind that time when we ran into each other.

I glared at it, as if my look could make it go away and maybe take my pain with it. I had almost become accustomed with the pain that followed seeing something that reminded me of Sam, but it still hurt like hell. And I really had no idea of what to do to make it go away.

As Danny and I walked around the bend I suddenly realised that we weren't alone anymore. I didn't know if he had noticed yet, so before I looked up I nudged him in the side, to let him know that I was going into hiding for a while. It wasn't the first lot of people that we had met, and as before I just bent my head down and walked on by while Danny did the greetings.

It wasn't until I lifted my gaze to have a quick look that my heart seemed to stop beating again. Walking towards us were none other than Trinny and Sam. I slammed my arm into Danny's side again resulting in him letting out a moan in pain, but as he noticed the look on my face he refrained from any attempt to talk and followed my eyes until his reached the two girls.

His face fell immediately and I could almost hear his brain working overdrive to try and think of a way out of this. I already knew though, that we couldn't avoid seeing each other, and the mere thought of that made me want to cry. I was in no way ready for a face to face confrontation yet. It was way to early, in fact, with the way I felt, I wasn't sure there would ever come a time when I'd be ready for it.

I looked back at Sam, fighting the urge to run away, as the distance between us shrunk more and more by the second. Suddenly Trinny lifted her head and when she lay eyes on me and Dan, well, it wasn't too hard to guess what she was thinking. She looked from side to side before returning her gaze to me and I could clearly see her mouth the word 'fuck' to herself.

Doing that made Sam lift her head to and when she noticed the look on Trin's face turned her head slightly only to stop dead in her tracks when she noticed me.

There she was, and all of a sudden, everything that I had managed to close in rushed out again and I felt like screaming in agony. We stood there, for I don't know how long, just staring at each other and for every second that went by I felt myself grow weaker and weaker.

Neither Danny and Trinny seemed to have found a way out of the situation, and it was all getting a but too much for my liking.

I watched Sam's face, tracing the outline like I had done so many times before, and it wasn't until a single tear ran down her cheek that I realised just how angry I was with her.

Before I had let the sadness take over, now I needed something else to focus on, and anger seemed like the most logical choice. I pondered whether to say something or not when I noticed her parting her lips ever so slightly.

It hit me like a ton of bricks, I wanted her to say something to make it all better. Despite all my new-found anger, I still longed to hear her voice again, and the realisation of that was more than I could bare. Without thinking I turned around and started to run back the same way that we'd just come. I heard Danny's voice as he yelled my name but I ignored it. At that moment, all I needed was to be alone. If I had to spend one more second in the company of the person who hurt me more than I thought ever possible, I was afraid that I would break down. And that was something I wasn't prepared to do in front of her.

She might have taken my heart and crushed it, but she wasn't going to see me cry over it. Never.

**Sam**

One single tear ran down my cheek when I laid eyes on Doug, but apparently it was enough to make him want to run away from me.

I saw it in his eyes, anger filled them, and a flash of something else. Vulnerable and broken. He looked as I felt. This was a pain I had never known before and the result of my choice was smothering me. Eating me up from the inside, forcing itself upon me every fragment of a second of every day. I wanted to scream, and cry and kick something to pieces.

Unfortunately I had already tried all of those, and sadly none of them helped me even the slightest. The pain was still filling me just as much as before, if not more. And to be honest, at that moment, I wasn't sure how much more I could take. I wanted to shut down, to stop feeling, I wanted something to make it all better.

No, I wanted someone to make it all better. I knew that, in every single part of my body, but I couldn't undo what I had done. It was too late.

A walk had seemed like such a good choice when Trinny came up with it. Some fresh air to help me clear my head, as she so kindly put it. It didn't really work out that way though, did it?

I half-ran back to our room and slammed the door behind me. Trinny burst through a few minutes later.

'Ok, you seriously have to stop running when you're mad' she said in between breaths 'You know I'm way to unfit to keep up with you'

I remained where I was, with my back to her, in some fable attempt to hide my tears and to, I suppose, not show how much one single meeting had affected me.

'Sam?'

I heard her walk up to me but I still flinched when she put her hand on my shoulder, turning me around to face her. There was no point in hiding my tears at that point, and I let them flow freely down my cheeks.

'Aww, hun, don't cry' Trin tried as she wiped my hair out of my eyes 'You can't let him affect you like this. It's making you sick Sam. All you do is cry, and you think you can hide it from me, but I hear you, every night. It has to stop'

I ignored everything that she just told me, knowing very well how true it was 'Did you see the look he gave me today? He hates me'

'Sam…'

'I crushed him' I mumbled quietly **'**I crushed myself'

I could take him not talking to me, and never getting to see him but the thought of him hating me was too much. The bare thought of it made me physically sick. I wrestled my way free from Trinny's grip and ran into the bathroom where I threw up into the toilet.

After heaving a few times I collapsed onto the floor, the emotions racing through me being to much for me to take, with silent tears tricking down my cheeks.

'WHY?!' I screamed as I slammed my fist against the cold tiles, the pain from the blow almost unnoticeable in the midst of all my pain. 'Why?' I sobbed hoarsely, all the crying had left it's mark on my throat, before closing my eyes begging for sleep to overtake me and let me have some peace for a moment.

It was all I asked for, a moment where I could forget. Not that I got it though, the events of the day haunted me through my sleep, causing me to twist and turn in agony.

When I woke up a few hours later the physical pain was almost overshadowing the emotional one, and I realised that I preferred it that way. That kind of pain I could do something about, I thought as I slowly drew up a bath.

I lowered myself into the water letting the warmth surround me completely. I rested my head on the ledge and as I closed my eyes I realised that I had no more tears to cry. I was emotionally drained, and my body was paying the price of it. My body and my mind.

'I can never make it right again can I? I've hurt him too much to ever take it back' I mumbled to myself as I let the water engulf me entirely.

**Danny**

I may have a easy outlook on life but I do care about my friends. Probably more than anything, and seeing Dougie like this was wearing me down. I couldn't just sit by and do nothing while he was feeling like this. No. I had to do something.

That was my reason for where I was currently going. I stopped in front of what I knew was Trinny and Sam's door, and took a deep breath before I quietly knocked.

I was only a few seconds before the door opened and revealed a tired looking Trinny. 'Is Sam here?' I asked quietly.

'Kind of' she nodded 'she locked herself in the bathroom a few hours ago'

'Can I come in?'

'If you keep it down' she replied stepping aside.

'How is she?' I asked hinting towards the bathroom.

'How do you think she is? She's asleep on the bathroom floor, but from what I can hear, it's not a very peaceful sleep' she said with a miserable look covering her face 'How's Dougie?'

'Bad… no' I shook my head 'worse than that'

'I…I don't know what to say'

'And you expect me to?' I asked a little irritated.

She turned away from me, leaving me alone by the door 'Just shut up, will you'

'Listen, just because your friend toyed with his heart and crushed him doesn't mean…'

'It's not like she wanted to' Trinny blurted out before placing her hand over her mouth.

'What did you say?' I asked as I walked closer, not stopping until she was pressed against the wall, and placed one hand on each side of her head. 'What did you just say?'

'Oh, crap…Oh crap…Oh crap' she repeated as she attempted to look anywhere but at me. 'I'm so dead, oh no…'

'Trinny!' I said interrupting her rant, probably sounding a lot harsher than I intended 'Tell me what you meant by that'

She looked at me with shock in her eyes for a few seconds before she relaxed in front of me. 'Fine' she sighed 'You might want to sit down, this might take a while'

…

'I can't believe this' I said feeling defeated as I took in everything Trinny had just told me. 'Why didn't she fight harder? She must have known that Dougie would do anything in the world for her. It was so obvious, even from the very beginning'

Trinny slumped down beside me 'I don't know, you must understand the pressure she is under here though. It wasn't an easy decision if that's what you think'

I shook my head 'But still, they seemed so right for each other, despite everything, they still kept going. I actually thought that they would make it'

'I know, so did I'

Silence lingered in the room as we both remained deep in thought. I listened to the rhythmic sound of Trin's breathing, the repetitiveness only being interrupted by the odd sigh, and found it strangely calming. I think we were both trying our hardest to come up with a way out from all of this, but, as expected, the answer didn't come as easy as that. Not knowing what to do with myself I slowly draped my arm around Trin's shoulders and let out a little breath as she relaxed into my embrace.

'Are you hitting on me?' she mumbled quietly.

I smiled slightly 'Normally, I'd be hitting on you so fast it would make your head spin, but today isn't really the day for that'

'I guess you're right'

'Next time maybe?' I said half-joke and half-serious.

I felt her nod into my chest before whispering an almost inaudible 'Next time'

A few minutes later I realised just how late it had gotten and as Trin followed me to the door I couldn't help but wondering if all this new information would make any difference. I knew that it was huge and all, but still, maybe both Sam and Doug were hurting too much to ever come back from it.

It was Trin how finally voiced those fears, that she apparently had aswell 'What are you going to do now?'

I shrugged my shoulders 'I don't know, something. I have to do something'

'Good luck'

Before she could say anything else I quickly leaned closer and pecked her on the lips. I didn't know what it was that made me do it, but somehow it just felt right.

I took a step backwards and found myself out in the dark hallway again. I lifted my gaze and met Trin's eyes, and before she closed the door completely I noticed a small smile playing on her lips.

Probably the same one that was currently playing on my own.

…


	14. Chapter nine part one

_**I've been debating whether to make this one or two chapters, but just now bubblewrap came on and I decided to make it one. Split up into two parts. With different names. Ha, sorry. **_

_**The last part of part two is for Kim, it's not really what we discussed, but I hope it's good enough. **_

_**Chapter nine part one**_

_**Remember when it rained **_

_**Sam**_

'_For never was a story of more woe / than this of Juliet and her Romeo. _Those are the last words in Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet as said by the prince, and many believe that these few words manage to capture the entire being of the play. It's hard to disagree with that fact, the brief elegy for the two lovers who fight against everything to make their love last is undeniable'

'The affliction and bitter grief carries through the story, almost to a point where it steers the play away from the maybe more obvious main theme of love. Opinions on this matter are many and most of them as relevant as the other, but to me, it's a story of love. Against all odds. As relevant today as it might have been 200 years ago. Thank you'

'And thank you Miss Hershley' Mrs Adams said as I returned to my seat. 'I think that is about all we have time for today, but for those of you who didn't have time to do your reports today, don't worry, there is always tomorrow'

A silent sigh could be heard in the classroom but I think Mrs Adams chose not to hear it, but then again maybe she actually didn't. Twenty years of teaching must have left you with some form of ability to block out students being students.

I realised that my mind was slipping a bit and quickly stood up to leave the room before I got completely carried away. I almost made it to the door before Mrs Adams spoke again.

'Miss Hershley, if you could stay a few minutes I'd like to go over your report now'

'Of course' I said as I cursed myself for not walking a little bit quicker and in that case maybe had had the chance to disappear into the crowd of other students. No, no such luck here though.

Of all the plays in the world, she had to choose Romeo and Juliet. It was simply cruel. So clearly against me, like someone apparently not wanting me to forget, not even for a second. Make her hurt must have been their intention, and boy did they do a good job. Doug was constantly on my mind, and by constantly I really mean it as in every moment of the entire day, cause that's what it was, and it was slowly driving me insane.

Despite the way I was feeling I couldn't let it take over completely. I had actually written the entire piece with affliction as the main theme but then realised how completely ridiculous it was. It was a forced paper and I knew it, and the moment I started to write about the love-theme the words just poured out of me. Sure, it wasn't the easiest thing to do, it doesn't take the brainiest person to see the similarities with my own situation and the one in the play (nor to such extent though, but still…) and I may have shed my fair share of tears while writing it and I know you all expect me to say it was all good, in a therapeutic kind of way, but I wont, cause it wasn't. It sucked, big time, but I knew that it was better that way. For my grades sake anyway.

'Samantha' Mrs Adams began in a concerned tone 'How are you feeling?'

I gave her a confused look before answering 'Fine'

'Are you sure?'

'Course I'm sure. Is there something wrong with my report?'

'No not at all' she shook her head 'It is as perfect as ever, if not better, but looking at you presenting it, you seem to have lost your spark'

'My spark?'

'I can't really put my finger on it, but that's how I would describe it, yes. I can see it in your writing aswell, it's perfect, but almost too prefect. You know what to write to make it sound good, but there isn't really any feeling behind the words'

'Ok…I don't really know how to reply to that' I said honestly.

'Are you sure that you are ok? Because if there is anything bothering you, you can always talk to me about it'

'I know, and thank you, but I'm fine' I replied and even mustered a small smile. Something inside me wanted to tell her all about me and Dougie and how much I was hurting, and I wanted her to understand and comfort me and make it all better, the way only adults can, but I knew I couldn't. I couldn't risk it, if I did then all I sacrificed Dougie for would be lost. And that thought was too much to even think about. 'Is it ok if I go now? I don't want to be late for the next class'

'Yes, of course'

I left her alone in the classroom as I quietly closed the door behind me. I had only walked a few steps along the hallway when I felt a hand on my arm. I swung around and came face to face with Trinny.

'You scared the crap out of me' I lied, not wanting to reveal who I'd hoped it would be.

Trinny just rolled her eyes 'Yeah, yeah, whatever, now tell me, what did she say?'

'Nothing much, she just asked me how I was feeling, again'

'Oh, did you tell her?'

'Trin! You know I can't to that'

'Right, sorry, I was just…'

'Well don't. Can we talk about something else, please. I need to take my mind off things'

'Sure' she replied with a smile, but I knew that my tone had hurt her feelings. Emotion-wise, Trinny was really easy to read and normally I would have apologised immediately, but now, I just couldn't be bothered. I couldn't get Doug out of my mind, and I had grown accustomed to the pain always being there but it didn't stop me from trying to think of something else. For my own sanity's sake, I knew that I at least had to try.

I let a small smile play on my lips for I knew that it wouldn't work. It was all pretend, a big show to fool everyone into thinking that I was ok, and the sad part was that I was getting pretty good at it.

Not good enough to fool myself though.

Later that night I was lying awake in my bed. After twisting and turning for almost an hour I suddenly decided to go for a walk. I couldn't stay in that room anymore and after pulling on a sweater I made my way out into the hallway and up along the left corridor.

At first I just walked where my feet took me but soon I started recognising the path I was taking and it wasn't long before I stood in front or the drama-room again. I rested my hand on the handle, not really sure if I should go in or not, when I was suddenly overcome with emotions. It was as if every single emotion I had experienced in that room came flooding through me at once and for a second I didn't really know how to act. I wanted to cry and at the same time laugh. I felt the chills from the wind in the tower and the warmth from Dougie's arm around my shoulders and not even my body knew how to respond to this.

Despite how confused it made me I knew that I wanted to go into the room. At that point I didn't care how much it would hurt, I just wanted to be somewhere where I was once happy.

Walking into the room I didn't bother to turn on the light. Me and Doug had spent so much time in there I knew every twist and turn of the room, and it was probably one of the only places in the world that I had felt completely safe to be in the dark in. As I slowly stepped across the floor it hit me just how much of that security came from Dougie. Knowing that he was right beside me had made me feel like nothing could hurt me, but now I had to try my hardest to not run out of the room. My heart was beating ferociously inside my chest and I felt panic threatening to overtake me, but as a single tear ran down my cheek I kept on walking.

I reached the door to the tower and slowly made my way upwards, step by step, until I reached the roof and walked out into the chilly nightair. I took a deep breath as I sat down on the cold stone-floor and after pulling my knees to my chest I wrapped my arms around them, trying to make myself as small as possible.

'It's not fair' I said out loud 'I made a mistake, a horrible mistake but I just can't…I…I want him back. I want Dougie back'

I didn't know why I felt a need to say it out loud. Maybe I was hoping that the wind would take my wish and grant it, maybe I just wanted to hurt myself with saying the words and knowing that they would never come true, I really didn't know, but for some reason I just kept going.

I sat there alone, at the top of the tower, shivering and talking to myself when I suddenly felt a small raindrop land on my hand. It was soon followed by another and before I knew it was pouring down. I looked up at the sky, closing my eyes and feeling the water-drops as they hit my skin and thought about Dougie. It was the same kind of rain as the day when we met in the woods.

I stood up and walked over to the ledge and as I looked out over the school grounds all I could think about was if Dougie was looking at the rain and thinking what I was thinking.

Somehow the walk back to my room seemed longer this time, the hallways more deserted and more echoing than normal, but I hardly noticed it. Suddenly I was overcome with tiredness, as if the last few weeks had finally caught up with me, and after getting back to my room I quickly got undressed and the second my head hit the pillow I was fast asleep.

_**Dougie**_

'Do you think he wants to join us?' I heard Tom say in a hushed voice.

Danny shrugged his shoulders 'I don't know, ask him'

'I'm not asking him, you ask him'

'No you!'

They apparently wasn't aware that I was listening, since neither of them remembered to lower their voices when their little argument began.

'Harry' they both said suddenly 'You ask him'

'What?! Hell no'

'GUYS! Stop tiptoeing around me, it's driving my insane!' I said rather loudly, causing everyone to snap their heads towards me. 'I might be sad, but I'm not deaf and I'm not unable to talk to either'

'Sorry mate' Tom began 'It's just that, well, lately you've been a tad bit, don't kill me for this, but moody'

'Moody?'

'Actually, it's more like PMS' Harry said from his corner.

I looked from him to Danny, who was now sat beside me, and I could see his lips twitching upwards.

'Are you calling me a girl?'

'Hm…' Harry pretended to think about it while rubbing his cheek 'I think I am'

I slowly nodded 'I see'

I heard Tom chuckle and but I kept my eyes focused on Harry, desperate to not be the one to break our undeclared staring-contest.

'He's thinking. I can hear the wheels spinning inside his head' Tom said, I think, to Danny 'Harry, you're gonna get it so bad now'

'Ohh, I'm so scared'

'You should be' I said seriously 'Danny, tell him what I did to you last time you did something to annoy me'

Danny shuddered a bit before answering 'I can't, I'm still too traumatised'

'Again, I'm sooo scared' he said with a laugh 'You can try, but you wont get me Poynter. Never'

Tom shook his head solemnly 'I knew this would happen sooner or later…Oh well'

'What do you mean?' Harry asked, confusion evident in his voice.

'Isn't there someone missing?' Tom kept on saying 'I could have sworn there were four of us a minute ago'

Harry's eyes dashed around the room but it took him a full five seconds before he realised that Danny was gone.

'Where's he g…' suddenly he stood up and you could almost hear his brain working 'Hell no!'

'Hell yes my friend' I said with a light chuckle.

'DANNY!' he yelled as he ran towards the door and out into the hallway 'DON'T touch my stuff! I'm warning you, if you touch anything I swear I will…'

His rant was followed by a few colourful words and Danny's loud chuckle echoing through the walls, soon muffled by a thud and a loud moan from him, probably meaning that Harry got to him.

I couldn't help but laugh out loud as the sounds of their struggle reached us and looking over at Tom he was already holding his stomach from laughing so much. Mission accomplished then I thought to myself as I snickered lightly. Suddenly a loud bang was heard and then everything got really quiet.

Tom and I looked at each other before one of us opted to speak.

'What happened?' Tom asked.

I shrugged my shoulders 'Maybe they killed each other'

'Hm… interesting'

'I know'

…

Danny wasn't dead though, but he did have what looked like a black eye coming along nicely above his right cheek.

'Wow' I said and I couldn't help but poke it a bit with my finger 'Did he really punch you?'

Danny slapped my hand away before shaking his head 'nairanthroughadoorkindof' he mumbled quickly.

'Sorry?'

'I ran into the door' he confessed. 'Ok, just laugh and then we can forget about it'

'I don't think I will ever be able to forget about this' I said seriously.

'I was afraid of that'

'But' I continued with a smile 'I shall try, after all, you did help me out back there'

'Thanks' he replied a small hint of sarcasm hidden in his voice 'You're a true friend'

'I love you mate'

'Love you too'

It didn't take more than that. A single mention of the word love, and my brain was working overdrive to connect the dots and make me see what it made me think of. To my own surprise, it was Sam and the mere thought of it made me feel like someone pierced my heart a bit. Not making a full cut, but slicing it a bit so that I would hurt. Enough to remind me how much I could hurt. And I did. All the feelings that I had worked so hard to push away was surfacing again, and to be honest, I was getting pretty sick of it. I didn't want to hurt anymore, I didn't want to be mad anymore. I just wanted to be me again, I thought solemnly but then I realised something. I didn't want to be the old me, I wanted to be the me I was with Sam, and somehow I knew that my heart wasn't finished with everything yet. I wouldn't be free until my heart let go. And somewhere deep inside, I didn't want it to let go. I wanted Sam.

The thing is though, when you have your heart broken, it doesn't take much to set it off again. I was probably doing the textbook version of a broken heart, one word reminding me and I felt like hiding forever, but then again, you never expect to end up with a broken heart. It just happens, and maybe that's why it hurt so fucking much, I wasn't ready for it, because I never thought it would happen. And then it did.

'Do you think it was all a lie?' I asked without realising that I said it out loud.

'What was a lie?' Danny asked, causing me to snap back to reality. I thought about making something up for a second or two, but then figured I might aswell go on with the thought, maybe as a weak attempt to get it out of my system.

'Me and Sam' I replied quietly 'Was I imagining the entire thing?'

'No' he said quickly 'It wasn't a lie, it was very much real'

'I thought so. But why did she leave then? If it was so real and so wonderful, why did she leave?'

Danny shot me a sad look and I could tell that he was thinking hard about what to say next.

'Thinking like that doesn't help you mate'

I glared at him as I stood up 'What do you know anyway?!' I snapped 'You're not the one with the broken heart here. I am, OK?! So don't tell me what to think and not think, cause it's not helping'

'Dou…'

'No! I don't want to hear that it will get better in time or that I deserve better. I don't want better, I want Sam!' I continued loudly 'It's not fair

'I'm sure it wasn't like that' he said with a miserable look on his face. 'I'm sure she had her reasons'

I turned away from him and rested my hand on the door handle 'You don't know anything about that'

He remained quiet for a few seconds before he spoke again 'I might know something'

'What?'

'I might know something about Sam…'

I couldn't help it, and turned around to face him again 'What did you say?'

'I need to tell you something' Danny said and padded the bed next to him 'You might want to sit down for this'

I slowly walked over to him and took a seat, not really sure what to expect next, but with millions of thoughts racing through my head of what it could be that he needed to tell me. In my already weakened mood I couldn't help but think that it would be something bad, and I tried as hard as I could to strain myself against whatever it could be.

'Ok' I began after a few minutes of silence. 'Tell me'

'I know why Sam broke up with you'. He said it fast and efficient, like a band-aid being ripped off, but at that moment I couldn't focus on anything else than the burning pain it left behind. Word by word my brain understood it and soon assembled them to one full sentence. He knew why Sam left me. So what? So did I.

'Yeah, so? I know why she left me too, she was pretty clear about it'

'You're the one who said that you thought there was more to the story than what she told you' he replied patiently. 'I'm just trying to tell you the rest of it'

'I'm not sure I want to hear this' I said honestly, cause at that point I really didn't know if I could handle the truth.

'I think you want to hear it'

I gave it a couple of seconds before slowly nodding 'Fine'

Danny looked oddly uncomfortable with the entire situation, his usual cheeky self had been replaced by his serious one, but tenfold. 'I don't really know where to begin…and, there's a lot I don't know, but…'

'Come on Dan, just tell me'

'Ok. She never wanted to break up with you, she was forced to'

I think the emotions of the last few weeks had left its toll on me, and I'm pretty sure I didn't react like maybe I should have. I just sat there, in silence, as I listened to the words Danny spoke. It was several minutes before I realised that he was waiting for me to say something.

'What do you mean by 'forced to'? It's not like someone told her to break it off with me, hardly anyone knows about it for gods sake'

'Did you know that Sam is on an academic scholarship?' he kept going in the same hushed tone 'That she needs to keep and A- average to avoid being kicked out of the school?'

I remained silent, busy taking everything in.

'And that since she began spending time with you her grades slipped dramatically, up to the point where she was put on academic probation'

'She never told me' I said quietly as my mind went through all the times when she had been acting weird or seemed worried, and slowly everything started to add up. 'She never even tried to tell me'

'After being late to class and failing an important essay, the teachers gave her one month to get her grades back in shape, or she would be kicked out of school. This school means everything to her, which I'm sure you are aware of, and she couldn't even imagine being forced to leave'

Danny kept on talking, but the words didn't really sound like his own, it was like her was retelling as story that someone else had told him.

'So she had to make a choice. She knew she couldn't keep seeing you and get her grades up so…'

'So she dumped me'

'It wasn't an easy choice, Trinny told me…'

'Trinny told you all of this?'

He looked at me with a smile of mixed pride and shame 'Yeah, I talked to her the other day and kind of forced it out of her'

'Forced?'

He shook his head 'Anyway, she told me that Sam hasn't stopped crying since she realised what she had to do. It's all she does, you should have heard her mate, it wasn't very nice'

'Wait, you saw her?'

'No, I heard her. She had locked herself in the bathroom when I was there and apparently fallen asleep, but it wasn't a very peaceful sleep'

I didn't know what to say to everything that he was telling me, but I knew one thing 'Why should I let this affect me? She could have told me the truth, we could have worked it out somehow'

'I know, that's what I said too, and I wish that I had an answer to that, but I don't. I don't know why she didn't tell you, but Trin seemed to think that Sam did it to protect you'

'Protect me? Since when do I need protecting?'

'May…'

'It was a rhetorical question Danny. I wasn't expecting you to answer it'

'Oh, you know I'm not good with them' he said with a small smile. 'What are you going to do?'

'I don't really know yet' I said honestly.

'Are you going to try and talk to her?'

'I really don't know, I think I just need some time to think right now.

'I understand, I'll be here, if you need to talk or anything'

'I know, and thanks for telling me all of this'

'Anytime mate'

'I might hurt you a bit later though'

He looked at me, confusing written all over his face 'Why?'

'For not telling me about this sooner' I replied with a light laugh.

'Oh, well in that case I probably deserve it' Danny agreed with the same laugh.

…

I walked along the hallways towards the tower. It was kind of funny, that all the time I was sneaking out to see Sam, I had to dodge teachers every minute, but now, I realised I hadn't seen one all night. Ironic, I thought to myself. It wasn't really funny though, just stupid. And a bit annoying. But, such is life. Wow, that was pretty deep. I let out a little chuckle at my own funniness and rounded the last corner only to come to a stop outside the familiar door.

I closed the door to the drama-room behind me and instantly felt a little bit more relaxed. I wasn't really sure what it was about that room, but ever since I first found it I had always felt at home there. Safe I suppose you could say. And I realised that despite having so much history with Sam in that room, it still belonged to me.

I was aimlessly wandering around the room when I suddenly heard someone outside the door. I instantly drew myself backwards into the corner, hoping that the shadows and darkness would provide enough cover to avoid being spotted. At first I thought it was just another teacher but as soon as the door opened and I saw her silhouette I knew that it was Sam. I held my breath waiting for her to turn the light on, but to my surprise she didn't. She just walked straight through the room and over to the door that lead to the tower. I did hear her breathing speeding up though, and I knew how terrified she must have been, but yet she walked on.

I waited a few minutes before I followed her up to the tower. I don't know why I did it, but part of me wanted to know why she was there, in my tower. I stopped when I reached the top step and soon found her sitting outside, on the cold stones looking out at the black sky.

I shivered a little bit when the cold hit me but I didn't move or make any attempt to make myself heard. I just stood there, watching her.

Suddenly she whispered something and at first I could really make it out but as the wind blew past me I could hear it as clear as if she had told me herself.

'I'm sorry'

I turned around and walked back down the stairs again, careful not to make any noise that might make Sam realise that I was there. As I made it safely out into the hallway I couldn't help but think about Sam's voice and the words she said.

I mean, to be honest, she could have been sorry about anything, but somewhere deep inside I knew that it had something to do with me. And her voice, so thin and almost on the verge of breaking made me realise just how different she seemed. I had watched her sitting with her arms wrapped around her body and at that moment she looked so fragile, like the weakest gush of wind could break her apart.

This whole thing had changed her. And it had changed me too. A few weeks ago I would have thought that was a good thing. Now however, I wasn't really sure.

I made it almost all the way back to my room before it finally hit me. Watching her like that I had wanted to save her. Wrap my arms around her and keep her safe. Just like I used to do when an us still existed. And I was pretty sure that that feeling wasn't going to go away anytime soon.

After getting back into bed I quickly glanced out the window and noticed that it was raining. I watched the drips as they found their way down the glass and I couldn't help but smile. I had always loved rain like this.

…


	15. Chapter nine part two

_**Part two**_

_**The Acoustic Song**_

_**Dougie **_

I slowly crept up to the curtain and peered through a tiny gap, very conveniently sitting at my eye-height, only to gulp when I saw the crowd of people sitting on the other side of it. What the hell had I been thinking when I came up with this? This must be one of the stupidest ideas I have ever come up with I thought as I closed the curtain again. I let out a little miserable chuckle though, just the thought of the many stupid plans I had come up with during my life, well, I could probably write a book.

This plan however, would not be in it.

At the time, my plan had seemed like the best possible solution. Maybe a bit farfetched, but still, it could work. Now however, I wasn't so sure. I took a few steps backwards and stumbled upon Danny. I turned my head towards his but the moment he caught my eye he quickly spoke 'Oh no, you're not blaming this one on me'

'Come on…' I winched 'This can't possibly have been my idea'

'Momentary memory loss again?' Danny chuckled as he rummaged around his bag for something unknown to me 'It will be ok, stop worrying so much'

'I can't, this is insane' I stated as I paced back and forth in front of him 'Stupid, ridiculous, annoying, so not me. I mean, just completely fucking non…'

I was suddenly interrupted, mid rant, by Danny's hand making contact with my cheek. I instantly lifted my hand to my chin, not being able to ignore the dramatic feeling rising within me when I did so.

'Doug!' Danny said harshly pretending not to notice the look on my face. 'You are completely loosing it'

'You slapped me?!'

He just shrugged his shoulders 'Yeah, so? You would have done the same for me'

'I know that, but I would have done it just to piss you off, you actually did it to help me'

'That's because I'm a better friend than you are' Danny said with his lecturing-face on.

'Oh, ok then' I nodded 'I can't really come up with anything to say to that'

'I know, That's because I'm cleverer than you too'

'Yeah, I can tell' I snickered to myself. Well, despite a rather burning feeling to my cheek, Danny had actually managed to calm me down a bit. Wow, I thought, impressive.

'Remind me again of why I'm doing this?' I said a few minutes later, as my scared shitless phase was starting to come back to me.

'For Sam' Danny said simply before grinning at me.

After a few moments of hesitation I grinned back at him. I couldn't really help it, but then again, who could not smile back to one of Danny's grins. It's not humanly possible. 'Ok, here goes nothing' I continued as I sat down on my stool.

'Doug?' Danny suddenly asked from my side.

'What?' I asked, a little annoyed that he was disturbing my trying to concentrate.

'Did it hurt?'

'Did what hurt?

'My slap' he said with this boyish look of excitement covering his face.

'Want to find out?' I replied, doing my best to stare him down.

'I'll shut up now'

'Thank you'

I know you all must be wondering what's going on. For once, it's rather complicated and I feel that I need to take you back a few days to be able to show you the entire picture. Doug's mind gets complicated. Hell yes.

…

_**A few days and a lot of thinking earlier **_

It's strange how much one man (ok, boy) can think about one single thing. And for once, I am not thinking about sex. Ok, I kind of am, but only in the back of my mind. The front was completely occupied with the last few days events and everything that had come out of it.

I know it sounds weird but all of the things that Danny had told me had forced me to do some serious thinking, and I'm quite proud to admit that it all lead to something. Or, at least I hoped it was going to lead to something.

As I sat on my bed that night I couldn't help but wonder if it was the right course of action though, maybe a simple conversation would be better. But as I thought the thought I realised that it probably wouldn't work at all. Knowing myself and my way with words I'd probably end up scaring Sam away for ever, and that wasn't really the goal with all my plans.

No, it had to be this way. And to be totally honest, we were already so screwed it couldn't really go anywhere but up.

I picked up another paper and started all over again. I had been sat on my bed for the last five hours trying to get the words right but it was proving harder than I thought. As I looked up from the papers and noticed the masses of scrunched up balls thrown around me I couldn't help but smile at the whole situation, no one can say I didn't try.

'What are you laughing about?' Danny asked when he walked up to me. 'You've been sat here, hard at work all day and now your laughing to yourself, are you going insane?'

I shook my head 'I'm stuck'

'Stuck on what?' he continued to ask as he sat down next to me and tried to look at what I was doing. 'What are you doing anyway?'

'I'm writing a song' I replied without even looking up at him 'And I'm stuck'

'Cool' Danny said with a smile 'Show me what you've got and maybe I can help'

The look on my face must have been amusing cause after saying that he burst into laughter. 'I have a brain you know'

'Ha, I never knew that'

'It's just one of my many layers' he stated proudly.

'Layers?' I asked sceptically 'Shrek again?'

'What? It's an awesome movie'

I didn't reply, mostly because I really couldn't come up with anything to say back to that, and settled for a simple shrug of my shoulders before I got back to my writing again.

Feeling defeated I threw my pen across the room and let out a loud sigh. 'I just can't get the words right, I have tried it so many times now and it just doesn't sound right'

'Instead of that line' Danny said a few seconds later as he pointed to the paper 'you could try something like "and stars are falling all for us", then it will fit better with the next one'

I read through the previous lines and added Danny's version of it. After re-reading it I slowly nodded. 'Yeah, that actually fits, wow, I never would have thought about that. Thanks'

'No problem' he said with a smile 'I'll write a song instead of maths any day'

'I bet you would' I agreed as I scribbled the words down, quietly mouthing them to myself as I did so. Word after word it was starting to come together, but I couldn't help but feel anxious about how Sam would react to it. She was the one I was mostly worried about, but the fact that my heart was in this song and that people would hear it, well, that was a bit scary, to say the least. I knew I could never go through it alone but I thought I had come up with the perfect solution for that. I just hoped that Danny would be up for it.

'I can't do this alone' I said turning towards him 'Will you play it with me?'

'Of course I will' he nodded happily 'I thought you'd never ask'

…

As I walked back from the last class of the day I stopped by the notice-board and quickly scanned through the different coloured papers. Term-times, new curfews and of course the commandments, nothing really catching my eye until I reached the corner and a blue flyer. It wasn't a surprise, I had known it was there, after all, I had read it everyday for the last week now and I knew it by heart. But still, I had to read it again. Just to make sure it said what I knew it said.

It was the flyer for the Christmas talent show, and the place where my plan was going to be put into action.

Normally I couldn't have cared less about the talent show, I just saw it as a place for people desperate for other people to clap when they did something they thought they were good at, and nothing more. But, this years talent show had one big exception. It was co-ed.

Yes people, for the first time in the history of Wintworth Academy, they were doing an event where girls and boys would be in the same room. And this from the school who even used to do fire-drills separate. Big step I tell you, big step.

Anyway, there I was, looking at the poster and wondering, for about the 50th time what the hell I had gotten myself into. I was singing. In front of people. I don't have the strongest voice but I knew I could do it if I wanted to. Thank you mum for forcing me to go to choir when I was little. Ok, not really, choir sucked and you had to wear these dress type things. And I'm pretty sure I would have known how to sing without it, but yeah, now that I thought about it, I really couldn't come up with anything good that came out of it. Other than a pretty distinct hatred for standing in lines with someone pointing and waving in front of you. Nothing else though.

…

Had I prepared like normal person maybe my song would have been finished a bit earlier than the evening before the show, but no, I was me. I had been up all night finishing it off and now, with only a few hours to go, I was not only nervous but knackered aswell. Off to a good start in other words.

I walked into the school assembly-hall where the talent-show was being held and I couldn't help but imagine how it would feel like to be up on that stage in front of all of those people. I walked along the mid-section which had been put up to separate the boys from the girls, and no, I am not kidding. They actually put up a barrier to keep us apart.

I swear, sometimes they make us feel like animals. Like at the first sight of a girl, all of us guys would go insane and try to jump, or hump them. Ha, I think not. I did chuckle a bit at the image of it though, but you cant really blame me for that. Think about it and then come back to me and tell me you didn't laugh. It's quite difficult isn't it?

…

All day I had been nervous but as the actual show drew nearer I felt sicker and sicker by the minute. I was shaking at the thought of getting up on that stage, but I knew I had to do it. Keep thinking about what might happen if you pull this off Dougie, I told myself, think of the prize.

'Dude, are you sure about this? I know how you feel about public speaking, and, not to scare you or anything, but this is a bit worse than that' Danny asked me as he found me hiding in a corner.

I glared at him 'Duh…nah, I'll be ok. This' I continued and stood up 'Is just something I have to do'

'Alright then, just stay on key will you, that's all I care about, we have to sound good'

'I'll do my best' I chuckled as I followed him behind the stage 'I'll do my best'

_**Sam**_

I really had no idea why I even went to the talent show. Spending two hours watching boring people do boring things didn't exactly match what I wanted to do with my day. But no, I had no choice apparently. According to Trinny the talent-show was "completely un-missable" and there was no way I was spending another day in bed.

And for some reason I actually listened to her. I wasn't really sure why, but to be honest, it felt kind of good to be out amongst people for once. And who knew, maybe it would even be entertaining.

'Oh, I hope someone throws up' I whispered to Trinny as we took our seats.

'You missy, are evil' she said, at first serious but then a smile appeared on her face 'Welcome back!'

I pretended to bow down 'Thank you, thank you very much. But, seriously, I would love it if someone did something utterly embarrassing, I could really do with the laugh'

Trin nodded 'Well, you never know. I mean, with boys here the chances of someone getting up on stage and making an ass of himself is pretty big. More like massive I'd say'

'True' I nodded slowly as I looked around the room. My eyes scanned the rows of the boys side and every time I thought I saw someone resembling Dougie my heart skipped a beat, only to be disappointed when I realised it wasn't him. I didn't know why I did it, I was sure that the mere sight of him would hurt like hell, but somehow I just wanted to see him again. As I reached the front row I suddenly noticed a familiar blond head, and when the guy turned his head a bit I noticed that it was Tom. I sat up a bit straighter and soon found Harry sitting next to him aswell.

When I didn't find either Danny or Dougie I slumped back in my seat again. Maybe he wouldn't even come, I thought to myself as I closed my eyes, I mean, why would he? I'm sure he has better things to do that watch a stupid talent-show.

…

I kept my eyes closed as the talent-show began. Or, I actually opened them for a second but when the first act came on I quickly closed them again. I knew I wasn't much of a singer, but seriously, some people…I glanced sideways at Trinny and found her sitting with the most peculiar look on her face. As I nudged her in the side she turned towards me and I could see that she had tears in her eyes from holding in her laughter.

'And you call me evil' I whispered to her, full well knowing how she would react to it, and to my non-surprise, seconds later she slid down to the floor where she remained, one small shaking ball.

I chuckled to myself and then got back to my eye-closing. It wasn't until maybe ten minutes later that something caught my eye. Or not really, since I wasn't looking, but something caught my ear which made me open my eyes, if that makes sense.

I focused my eyes on the stage and to my surprise, seconds later Dougie and Danny walked on, each holding a guitar. Not knowing what to think I sat up a bit and as they sat down on two stools scenario after scenario started to fill my head. None of them very good I can tell you.

Danny flashed a smile at the girls side of the hall and I could hear at least one sigh from somewhere around me. I watched him as he did that and I realised how at home he seemed. It was like he had never done anything else in his entire life.

Beside him sat his opposite. Dougie had his eyes firmly focused on his guitar as he quietly tuned it and I could almost feel his nervousness across the room.

As the vice-principal introduced them Danny cleared his throat and spoke into the microphone, but not before looking over at Dougie, as if getting his ok or something. 'Thank you Mr Anderson'

He mouthed something to Dougie and seconds later he finally lifted his head and spoke into the microphone 'This is a song about, um, I something…'

'1,2,3,4' Danny said quietly as he began to strum, nodding his head along to the beat. My head instantly filled with dread, as if I knew what was going to come next. He wrote a song, I thought to myself as I looked down on the floor, I hurt him so much he had to write a song about it, and perform it live just to show me how much he hates me.

I glanced back to the stage and trailed my eyes across his features, watched the small smile he flashed Danny, secretly wishing that it was for me instead.

'_When I see your smile tears roll down my face_

_I can't replace.'_

I clasped my hands together in my lap and the second that first line reached me I stopped breathing. I looked down at my hands and realised that my knuckles were turning white from holding them so tight. I lifted my head again and watched Dougie as he sang. He had his eyes closed and I knew why. He had written the song and it was about his heart. His broken heart. And it was all my fault.

A tiny sob left my lips and I quickly stood up, suddenly thankful that we had chosen seats that were pretty close to the back of the room.

Ignoring Trinny reaching for me I quickly made my way along the line of chairs and as soon as I was free I raised my hand to my cheek to wipe away the tear that I hadn't managed to keep in.

'_And now that I'm strong and I have figured out_

_How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul_

_And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one'_

I made it all the way to the door without any more tears falling but as I placed my hand on the handle about to break through something made me stop.

I slowly turned around not sure what to think. I listened to the quiet strum of the guitar and took in every word that he sang.

'_I will never let you fall_

_I'll stand up for you forever_

_I'll be there for you through it all _

_Even if saving you sends me to heaven'_

_And seasons are changing _

_And waves are crashing_

_And stars are falling all for us_

_Days grow longer and nights grow shorter_

_I can show you I'll be the one'_

_**Doug**_

Singing those last few words, so completely honest, laying my heart bare, hoping against everything that Sam would hear the truth that lay in them I felt strangely calm. I had a little doubt lurking at the back of my mind though, what if Danny was wrong, and she really didn't want to be with me? Had I just set myself up for yet another heartache?

'_Cause you're my_

_You're my, my_

_My true love my whole heart_

_Please don't throw that away_

As I sang the last verse I scanned the crowd of people in front of me, face after face, but I couldn't spot her. My heart dropped like a stone at the thought of her not being here. What would I do if I just did all of this and she wasn't even here to see it? I asked myself, what the hell would I do then?

I was just about to give up when I noticed a figure at the back, near the door, slightly in the shadows and in an instant I knew. Sam was standing there listening, and despite being blinded by the heavy lighting I knew that she was looking directly into my eyes.

If possible I put even more emotion into those last few words. As if this was my one and only chance to let her know how I felt, and I had to try my hardest to make the words reach her.

_Cause I'm here for you_

_Please don't walk away and_

_Please tell me you'll stay'_

…

Danny and I finished the song and seconds later the whole room started to applaud. I felt Danny nudge me in the side but I barely heard the cheering and clapping, I was too busy trying to spot Sam again.

When I finally got a look at the corner where she had been standing I realised that she had left. Knowing that she couldn't have gone far I handed my guitar to Danny and after flashing him a thankful smile I walked off the stage and quickly made my way around the crowd and to the back of the room. Full of determination I opened the door, I suppose that the buzz I got from singing in front of all those people had transformed into this newfound 'I will not give up' strength and I knew that, if nothing else, I needed to talk to her. I had to talk to her and I was going to.

I stepped through the door and carefully closed it behind me. I was sure that no one would come after me, after all, the talent-show would go on for another hour or so, but you could never be too careful. I followed the main hallway and as I turned the corned I saw her. She was almost at the end of the corridor and I realised that if I didn't say anything I might loose her again.

'Sam' I said, not loudly, but I knew that she heard me. I knew from the way she stopped and from the way her shoulders seemed to tense up, just a little bit, upon hearing my voice. I kept on walking towards her now still form and as I got closer she finally turned around and met my eyes.

'Wait' I continued even though I knew that she was indeed waiting already.

…

We faced each other, standing only a few feet apart, and suddenly we seemed to be the only two people that exited. It was one of those moments that if we had been in a movie the camera would spin around us and the rest of the world would be blurred out, leaving nothing but the two of us.

I'm not even sure I was breathing. I traced my eyes across her face and noticed that her beautiful eyes had lost that little sparkle that they always seemed to hold. The sight made my heart ache a little bit, I knew that she had been hurting too, but actually seeing it for myself made it so much more obvious.

She might be standing in front of me, her brown hair gently surrounding her perfect face, looking the same as always, but she wasn't the same Sam anymore.

Her lips should be curved upwards, quietly giggling at one of my stupid jokes and her eyes should be twinkling with happiness. I should be holding her in my arms and cherishing every moment that we had together. Without Sam I wasn't the same. Things weren't the way they should and the thought of that was almost more painful than anything else I had lived through the last few weeks.

We stood in silence, just looking at each other, for I don't know how long. Time had stopped and for once neither of us were going anywhere. We had come to the point where they was no turning back. And it was the point were both of us wanted so desperately to remain.

'I thought you hated me' she said finally.

I took a step closer to her but resisted the urge to take her hand in mine.

'I tried, I tried so hard…'

I stopped speaking for I knew that no words could possibly describe the way that I was feeling. It was as if Sam was thinking the same thing for a short moment later we both took a step forward and literally flew into a tight embrace.

Sam was gripping onto me for dear life and I couldn't help but do the same. I felt that if I let her go I would loose her again and I wasn't prepared to let that happen. She buried her face in my chest and I wrapped my arms around her, letting out a sigh at the amazing feeling of having Sam this close to me again.

'I'm sorry' she mumbled quietly 'I'm so sorry'

'Me too'

Upon hearing that she lifted her head and looked into my eyes, a shocked look covering her face.

'No' she shook her head violently 'Don't say that. It's my fault, you haven't done anything wrong. I'm the one to blame'

I moved my hands from her back and rested them on the sides of her face, locking her eyes with mine. 'Sam' I began slowly 'I know why you did what you did, but..'

'How do you know?'

'Trinny told Danny who told me' I said simply 'And although I'm not exactly crazy about your solution for your problem' I continued with a small smile. 'I understand'

Sam shook her head again 'No, I made a mistake and I realise that, but you're not supposed to forgive me. I deserve to hurt like this'

'No you don't, and I mean this with all of my heart, you never deserve to hurt like this. Nobody does'

I watched Sam scan my face after I said that, as if searching for something telling her that I was infact telling the truth. She remained quiet for a few seconds before I noticed a small smile lingering on her lips. Relief spread through me as I realised that she seemed to have found what she was looking for. 'Can I tell you something?' she asked, and I could hear the many emotions filling her voice.

'Sure' I nodded, not really sure what she could say next.

'I think I love you a little bit'

'I think I love you a little bit too'

…

'What makes it work this time though? We 're still the same, under the same pressure and with the same rules to live by? What makes this time any different from the last one?'

'I'll try harder, you won't have to fight alone this time' I said honestly. 'Trust me'

'I do' she said and entangled her fingers with mine 'I trust you with all my heart'

…

After our little moment in the hallway we slowly made our way back to my room. It was a strange feeling, being able to walk hand in hand with Sam, in the middle of the day, without having to worry about someone seeing us, and I couldn't have been happier.

We reached the room and when Sam closed the door behind her I couldn't help but let out a small sigh. It had worked. My plan had fucking worked! Oh, this one was so going in the book.

'What are you laughing about?' Sam asked and I realised that I had been snickering to myself again.

'Nothing' I said with a smile as I wrapped my arms around her again 'Just a thought'

'Oh, well in that case…' she began and leaned closer.

We were now so close that out noses were almost touching and the mere thought of getting to kiss her again sent so many butterflies through my stomach that I thought I was going to explode.

I could almost feel her lips as they closed in and I was just about to catch them with mine when…no other than Chuckles burst through the door.

Both Sam and I reluctantly broke apart and turned our heads towards him.

'Hiya' he said and waved at us.

'Hi…'

'Am I interrupting something?'

I shot him a look before answering 'Nope, nothing at all'

'Oh, cool'

I swear, sometimes Danny's cluelessness even surprises me. And I live with him. I slowly shook my head and grabbed Sam's hand, urging her to follow me into the room. As I took a seat on my bed she dropped my hand and walked up to Danny instead.

A bit confused as to what it was she was doing I kept my eyes focused on her, not really knowing what to expect.

Danny looked equally confused and just stood there, when she leaned closer and gave him a small peck on his cheek. I resisted the temptation to laugh as he blushed madly, but somewhere I kind of wished that it had been me she kissed.

'Thank you' she said quietly.

'No problem' he replied with a huge grin covering his face 'But it wasn't just me, Trin helped to'

'I know' Sam said with a light laugh 'Don't worry, she'll get her kiss to'

'Oh, really?' he said while cocking one of his eyebrows.

Despite the very entertaining conversation going on in front of me I couldn't help but interrupt, mainly cause I knew exactly where Danny's mind was heading.

'Come off it Dan' I said walking up to them 'It's only in your dreams mate'

'I know' He nodded solemnly before winking at me 'But boy are they good dreams'

…

'I should go, it's late. Trinny is probably wondering where I got to, and I don't want to intrude'

'I don't want you to go' I said honestly.

'I don't want to go either'

'Feel free to stay here' Danny suddenly interrupted 'I have plans tonight'

'What are you doing?' I asked confused.

'I shall go on a nightly excursion on my own'

'Really…?'

'Yup'

I smiled back at him 'Will you be long?'

'Hopefully, yeah' he replied with a smug smile.

As Danny closed the door behind him I turned towards Sam who had an amused look on her face. Neither of us spoke though, and a comfortable silence lingered over the room as Sam gently wrapped her arms around me again.

I heard her let out a quiet sigh as I rested my arms on her lower back and when she looked up at me she shot me this smile that sent tingles through my entire body. I gazed down at her and realised that she had her sparkle back, and that I never wanted to see her without it again.

I slowly bent my head down and softly pressed my lips on hers in a gentle kiss. Sam responded immediately and for a second it felt like our very first kiss and like nothing had ever gone wrong.

I couldn't help but realise that a lot had changed between us though, but as I held her in my arms, my lips on hers, I knew that we could make it through.

The kiss came to a natural end and we broke apart slightly, but our eyes remained connected. I felt like we had this bond tying us together, and no matter what, it couldn't be broken.

Unable to stand not being as close to her as possible I captured her lips again, The kiss intensified and we held on to each other as if the world depended on it. I felt her shiver as I ran my hands along the bare skin under her shirt and I couldn't help but do the same when she gently stroked her fingers along my jaw.

Without thinking I lifted her shirt up a bit and doing so Sam broke away from our embrace and raised her arms in the air to aid me in removing it completely.

She did the same to my shirt and soon we were facing each other again. Sam took my hand and laced her fingers together with mine.

She leant closer and her lips burned like fire when they touched my cheek.

'I will never let you go again' she whispered quietly.

'Neither will I'

…


	16. Chapter ten part one

_**Sorry for the ridicolous wait, this chapter is doing my head in..**_

_**Chapter ten **_

_**Every you, every me**_

_**Sam **_

You know that feeling you get when you're about to pass out or throw up. When your legs go numb and it's slowly taking over every limb in your body. You can feel it as it spreads through you, and the less you move the stronger it becomes.

That's what I was feeling, but in a good way. Me and Dougie were back to normal, but lying in his arms slowly drifting off to sleep, I realised that something had changed between us. It was like those weeks apart had created this hole inside that couldn't be filled. No matter how much time I spent with him I wanted more. Even now, wrapped in the comfort of his embrace, I still wanted him closer.

I had always been attracted to him, he was good looking, I mean, who wouldn't be, but lately I had begun to see him in a different light. The way he smiled at me, with eyes sparkling with happiness, how every time he touched me I melted, the smallest thing reminded me how much I loved him.

Cause I really did. Perhaps all the crap I had put us through made me realise just how deep my feelings were, but then again, when I thought about it deeper, it had always been there. Maybe not as noticeable as it was now, but I had never been able to completely ignore the magnitude of my feelings, I just understood it better now.

It was as if the both of us had realised that we didn't have all the time in the world. Every kiss seemed to mean to much more. The passion that filled them was undeniable and I often found myself needing to be close to him, as if his mere presence was all that I needed to calm down.

We hadn't really talked about anything that happened between us, and it's not like I wanted to, but I was afraid that if we didn't, it would stay with us. Or more exactly, with Dougie.

I knew that I'd hurt Doug really bad, and as happy as he seemed I also knew that a heart doesn't heal that quickly - not even if the part it was missing is replaced.

How do you bring that up though? Admits all the newfound bliss, "oh right, maybe we should talk about how I took your heart and crushed it the other day, I'm worried it might be weighing you down". Yeah, good plan.

I leaned my head into my hand and continued to gaze at Dougie. He was currently too busy doing his homework (I know!) to even notice that I had been sat staring at him for the past ten minutes. I watched how he absently chewed the end of his pencil when he got stuck and how he twitched his nose everytime he knew an answer to something and rushed to write it down before he forgot it again.

I struck me how much I knew about him. How he reacted to the smallest things and how happy it made me to be able to see it again. I truly treasured every moment I got to spend with him.

He turned a page in his book and let out a small grunt when he noticed the rest of the questions that filled the new one.

I couldn't help but smile at his reaction, I had known about the questions but I had expected him to be a bit more against them, not just grunt and accept it. Wow, I must have really gotten through to him, I thought as my smile grew wider.

Perhaps all that crap I told Mrs Adams about the joy of helping others thrive wasn't so wrong after all. Watching Doug making it on his own made me feel so happy for him, and for me. Maybe it was more about him though, and not so much about the helping others randomly.

I quietly walked up to him and sneaked my arms around his waist, and gave him a quick kiss on his temple.

He spun around with a huge smile on his face 'What was that for?'

'I'm proud of you' I said honestly giving him a small peck on the lips 'You've done really well lately and I just wanted you to know that I am really proud of you'. There was so much else I wanted to tell him, but somehow I knew that he understood that.

Dougie looked at me with big eyes before turning around completely and pulling me onto his lap. He placed one arm around my waist, holding me close, and gently cupped my face with his other.

'You make me feel so much more than I ever thought possible' he said looking deep into my eyes 'You make me a better person with every little thing that you do, and all of this, is because of you'

'You are my everything' we both suddenly said at once, resulting in a complete giggle-fit. I wrapped my arms tighter around him as our laughter died down and the feeling of his heart beating through the material of his shirt sent shivers all over my body.

'So, why were you staring at me before? Not that I mind or anything, I'm just curious'

'You noticed?' I asked surprised 'You're supposed to be focused on your studies'

Doug simply shrugged his shoulders 'What can I say? Multi-tasking is my new middle-name'

'It suits you'

'I know, but you still haven't answered my question, what were you thinking about?'

'Us' I replied simply 'I was thinking about us'

'And…' he kept on pushing 'I have a feeling there's more to it than that'

I didn't know what to say to that, I knew he wanted an answer but I didn't have one to give him yet. We sat in silence for a while, me gently stroking his back, my head on his chest and his chin resting on my forehead.

'You have to forgive yourself Sam' Dougie said quietly.

'I know' I whispered 'I just need a bit more time'

'I'm not going anywhere' he replied and held me even tighter, as if protecting me from anything bad.

---

It was Sunday. I woke up early, surprisingly early even for me, but as I opened my eyes I realised that I had no idea what to do. I didn't feel like staying in bed, yet I couldn't be bothered leaving it. I turned to the right and noticed Trin still fast asleep. I turned back to the left and peered through a tiny gap in the curtain. The fact that it seemed to be sunny made me smile a bit, maybe I could spend my day outside. In the woods. With Dougie.

I had just disappeared into a daydream about how nice it would be to be together in daylight when I remembered what day it was. Parent-Sunday.

With a groan I sat up and forcefully tried to rub the sleep from my eyes. As if I wasn't in a shitty mood already, it soon hit me that maybe this would mean that I wouldn't be seeing Dougie tonight. What if his parents showed up and they became this little loved up nuclear family for the entire day and he'd be to busy in family bliss-land to remember about our date. Cause that would really suck. Both for me and him, maybe in a bit more painful way for him, but still, it would suck.

Parent-Sunday is this thing they do once every term to show parents just what I good decision they made in sending their kids to Wintworth. If you ask me, I think it's rather unnecessary, but I might just be a bit bitter about the fact that I never get any visitors. Or, I did one year, my first I think it was, my mum showed up, complained a bit and then left, ten minutes later. Yeah, no wonder these days aren't my favourites.

As I walked across the freezing floor over to the shower I couldn't help but hope that someone would come and visit me anyway. We might not get along very well, but if my mother came I could realise just that and go back to being grateful for living this far away from her. Even that would be better than being alone.

Sunday morning, a more acceptable morning-time this time though, and I took longer than usual to get ready. I brushed my hair and pulled it back. Checked the mirror and re-did it. Straightened my shirt and took one last look in the mirror. I didn't know why the mere prospect of my mother showing up made me behave like this, or maybe it was just something to keep me busy, but it felt like a need.

Dressing up isn't really my thing. I mean, I like clothes and stuff, but when you wear a uniform 22 hours a day you just stop caring. Especially when you never leave the school anyway. I never really felt like I had any reason to put any effort into the way I looked. I was pretty sure that Dougie had something to do with that, or probably everything, and before I knew it I was laughing to myself.

The words that he would whisper into my ear, or write on my hands, or sign when he couldn't speak filled my head, and I couldn't help but smile. I wanted him to be with me so bad and the fact that it was only ten hours until out scheduled date didn't go unnoticed at all.

My good mood didn't last long though. After waking Trinny and having a quick breakfast we had re-grouped to the stone steps outside the school, amongst all the other girls eagerly awaiting their parents arrival.

'Are we playing -spot the parent- again? Yay!' Trinny said with a squeal as she elbowed her way through the crowd.

'I have a feeling I wont be doing any spotting though' I said quietly. Deep down I knew that my mother wasn't coming, and I can't say that I had high hopes for my dad either.

Oblivious to my comment Trinny kept on scanning the crowd in front of us until she suddenly let out a little squeal followed by a quick hug. 'I see them! Gotta go. Love you. Bye'

'Um' was all I had time to say before she was gone 'Bye…'

I was left standing on the steps, looking out at the sea of people in front of me, not really knowing what to do. I didn't really feel like walking back to the room alone, but remaining out here amongst all the happy families wasn't really my idea of a good time either. As I watched all my friends chatting happily to their visitors I realised that I was jealous. I wanted my family to want to come and see me and be happy about it and indulge in a hug-fest. I wanted to have what everyone else was having.

I was just about to turn around and wander the hallways for a while when I heard something that sounded very much like someone I knew. I focused my eyes on the crowd and scanned the heads in front of me for some proof that it wasn't my imagination, but when I couldn't find any it just left me feeling even crappier. Was this what it had come too? Making up people that cared enough about me to come and visit me only to be left feeling even more dejected than before. Awesome.

Seconds later I heard it again and this time there was no question if I was making it up or not, I definitely knew that voice.

'Sammy!'

I spun around and when I laid eyes on the person shouting my name, my mouth fell open in shock.

'Jared?!'

My brother simply grinned at me before spreading his arms out wide. He didn't have to wait long though, since I was already running down the steps towards him.

I threw myself in his arms and let out a little sigh as he spun me around. He had the biggest smile on his face and I was sure mine wasn't far from it.

His hug seemed to last hours and I can't even begin to describe how happy it made me to have the single most important person in my life here with me. It was priceless.

As much as Dougie means to me, Jared is my best friend. Ever since we were little he has always been there for me and protected me, even if we've been apart almost our entire lives we've always managed to stay close. Sometimes I missed having him around though, talking to him on the phone just isn't enough all the time, but, at the same time, when I do get to see him, it's so much sweeter.

After a few more seconds Jared put me down again and we just stood there with these goofy smiles plastered all over our faces.

'Look at you' Jared said as he held me at arms-length 'Tiny's all grown up'

'Shut up' I said as I felt my cheeks taking another shade of red. 'I'm no different than before'

'What ever you say…' he smirked at me. A smirk that was suddenly replaced my a grimace of pain 'Ouch, what was that for?' he wined while he rubbed the spot where I punched him.

I put my hands on my hips, in an attempt to look as stern as possible. 'Don't you ever go a whole year without seeing me again'

'Sorry' he mumbled with a sheepish look on his face. 'At least I came today though'

I flashed him a small smile 'Yeah, and mum and dad didn't…'

'Don't dwell on it lil sis' Jared began as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder 'I'm here, I would never miss a chance to get to spend the day with you'

'Aww, you big wuss' I replied, placing my own arm around him too 'I've missed you soo much'

'I've missed you too'

With arms around each other we made our way up the steps and into the crowded school. Without even asking I knew where we were heading, and to walk there in silence was really comforting. I felt a small smile play on my lips and I knew that it would probably stay there for the rest of the day.

…

Half an hour later we were sat at a secluded table in the cafeteria munching on sandwiches that Jared had brought with him.

'I can't believe you remembered my favourite' I said as I took another bite 'Oh god, this is so good'

'How could I ever forget?' he replied with a smirk 'After the millions of times that you have yelled: "it's tuna idiot, not chicken" to my face. It kind of sticks'

'Took you long enough though' I smirked back.

'So, tell me about you life' Jared asked casually after he finished his sandwich 'Like you said, it's been way too long since we last spoke face to face and I have missed our talks'

'So have I, it's never the same over the phone, is it?'

'Nah' he chuckled 'Not really'

'To answer your question, I'm good' I said simply 'How about you? Are you and Claire still together?'

He nodded happily 'Of course, I'll never let her go, she's like the best thing in my life'

'You're so soppy these days' I teased 'Must be taking after her then'

'Must be' Jared joked back before replacing his smile with a look of concern instead 'I know you pretty well sis, and I know when I'm being lied to' he began slowly 'The message you left me a few weeks ago, well to be honest, you scared the crap out of me, I have never heard you that upset before and I can see that you seem fine now, but…' he shook his head 'You weren't fine then and you never called me back. Care to elaborate your message a bit?'

I looked down at the table as I tried to think of a way to explain everything to him. Jared was my best friend, and he knew me better than anyone, and yet, he knew nothing about Dougie.

In the early days with me and Doug, when it dawned on me just how much secrecy our relationship would require, I had opted not to tell anyone. Of course Trinny knew, but she was with me twenty-four-seven and, well, someone had to know. The thing that never crossed my mind though, was getting to a point where I would have to tell people. The moment I was currently facing. It would be easy to explain about Doug and how happy he made me and how happy we were together, but what Jared wanted explained was my message. The one I left him on the night I broke up with Dougie.

'_Jared! Pick up the phone. Please pick up…Why are you not answering? I need you…' I stammered as I tried my hardest to not give in to the tears. 'Something has happened and…I just need to talk. I'm just, I don't know, just please talk to me' I begged him as I covered up another sob, knowing full well that it wasn't working. 'I did something so bad…Please'_

'It's not as bad as it sounds' I began slowly, as the mere memory of that night made me want to cry again. I didn't know why, Dougie and I were back together and better than ever, but at the same time I just felt so guilty. Doug hade made me promise though, that I wouldn't shed anymore tears over it, and so far, I was doing pretty well sticking to it.

'Not bad?' Jared said disbelief clear in his voice 'You were crying Sam and we both know that you don't cry'

'Fine, it was bad, but it's better now, and I will tell you everything, all I ask is that you let me talk, from beginning to end, without interrupting me. Ok?'

He glared at me before nodding slowly 'Shot'.

Like I said before, Jared knew me better than anyone, and I knew that he knew that there was something different about me. He might not have known about Doug or everything that had happened, but he could read me like an open book, I should have known that I couldn't hide anything from him.

I took a deep breath before simply deciding to start from the beginning. 'It started a while ago, when I met this boy, Dougie, completely randomly. Or, I met him randomly he apparently had checked me out earlier and then got caught trying to talk to me' I spoke unable to hide the red that was slowly tinting my cheeks as I thought back on that faithful night 'We met, talked and, to make a long story short, met again and you know, got to know each other. We started hanging out and it took up more and more of my time, not that I minded of course, but it was starting to affect my schoolwork'

'I'm not interrupting, but just tell me if I need to beat the crap out of someone, I like to warm up first' Jared said quickly.

I just glared at him before continuing, completely ignoring his statement. 'We found our little ways around the rules to see each other but it took a lot of effort, so I kind of fell behind a bit, ok, a lot' the shocked look on Jared's face made me look down at the table again. If there was one thing I couldn't handle it was him being disappointed in me. 'Anyway, it got to the point where I got put on academic probation and I realised that I couldn't handle the situation that I had put myself in, and was forced to end it with Dougie. So I did, and it was the worst experience of my life, which you obviously heard on the message, which, by the way, I am so sorry for'

'Sa…'

'No, I shouldn't have left a message like that and then never called you back again. I didn't think about how it would affect you or how you would react and I am really sorry' I said honestly finally looking up at my brothers face.

'It's ok' he replied with a small smile 'Just don't do it again'

'I promise'

'And then what?' he asked slowly 'There's more to the story, right? I mean, you seem ok now'

'Yeah…' I began with a shy smile. 'We kind of worked it out and got back together' I mumbled, still a bit unsure of how to handle talking about boys to my older brother.

'Just like that, you got back together? But the tears, you were devastated'

'I know, and I broke his heart, but still, somehow he found it in his heart to forgive me, which I am so grateful for'

Jared looked at me over the table, his eyes searching mine for some kind of confirmation. 'Is it serious?' he finally asked.

'Yeah'

'You know I will kill him if he ever hurts you'

I rolled my eyes at him 'I know. I told him that when we'd just met. He was so scared when he found out that I have three brothers'

'Really?' His eyes lit up 'Can I mess with him?'

'Jared! No, you cannot mess with him'

'You really like him then'

I looked down at my hands again as I felt my cheeks redden again 'Yeah, I really do'

We sat in silence for a couple of minutes, Jared taking in everything that I just told him and me relishing the feeling of not having to keep it from him anymore.

'I want you to meet him, you are staying all day aren't you?' I asked, the mere thought of getting to spend the entire day with him enough to make me smile.

'Sure, of course I am' he grinned back 'There's no place I'd rather be'

'Wuss'

'It takes one to know one Sammy…' Jared replied slowly before in one swift move lifting me off the ground and onto his shoulder. 'And you really should know better than to call me names'

'Jared!' I yelled as I tried to wriggle my way out of his grip. Not with very much luck I might add. 'Put me down right this instant!'

'Yeah right' he said with a chuckle as he carried on through the hallway, ignoring my pleas and kicks. 'You're stuck sis, just get used to it'

'I will kick you where it hurts' I said seriously but his grip around my waist only tightened. 'Fine' I continued with a pretend sigh as I stopped fighting him 'It's out of my hands now…Oh well…'

…


	17. Chapter eleven pt one

**This is rubbish, but I'm in a crap mood and it's this or someone dies, and I don't really want to do that to this story. Sorry. **

**Chapter eleven **

**Embrace **

**Dougie**

'Du du duh, she is the hm,hm,hm one I've need…and iiii…'

'Dan! For gods sake! Shut up!' I yelled as I tried to block out Danny's voice. 'It's seven o'clock in the morning…' I continued mumbling quietly to myself.

'AND IIIII CANNOT LET HER GOO FOREVER…'

I threw my duvet aside and stood up fully, facing Danny as he stood with his arms spread wide, singing at the top of his lungs.

'Daniel!' I said sternly drilling my eyes into his 'It is not "and I can't let her go forever" it's "and I can't let her go for I know", if you're going to sing it, at least sing it right'

He suddenly stopped singing 'Really?'

'Yeah. Really'

'Oh, sorry then' he said with a grin before turning around and starting to hum the song again. I couldn't help but smile at the entire situation, even as his singing followed me into the bathroom, only to be drowned out by the door closing behind me.

'And I can't let her go for I know…that she's the one for me' I sang quietly and I let out a little sigh as the warm water hit my cold skin. I chuckled to myself as the words of the song filled my head. Suiting.

…

Three hours and one seriously long conversation with Danny later I was sat in the dining-hall, opposite none other than my father. Yeah, imagine my surprise when he showed up, I mean, my parents are to important to come out here and visit me (according to my mum anyway) ever, and for him to be here, well, it was just plain weird.

I glanced around the filled room and couldn't help but notice that despite the rather formal dress code Wintworth forced upon us, my Dad still managed to stand out. His expensive suit and flawless manner told the story of a man who spent his days in boarding-grooms delegating people, not that of a father visiting his youngest son for the first time in months. Not that I cared much about that though, he was yet to tell me what he was doing there and I was actually a bit anxious to know.

My dad I are very much alike, on the outside. We have the same nose. On the inside however, not so much. My rather easy outlook on life has never really appealed to either him or my mum and somehow I guess that this school was their way to at least try and inflict some kind of discipline into me. It hadn't really worked according to their plan though, but they didn't know that, as far as they knew, I was studying hard, possibly struggling a bit here and there, and as far as I knew, I wasn't.

'Dougie, I apologize for not letting you know that I was coming here today' my dad, George, began while slowly sipping his coffee 'I understand that this must come as quite a shock to you'

'No worries' I shrugged my shoulders, why would the fact that one of my parents actually came to visit me on parent-Sunday shock me? 'It's not like I had anything else planned'

'Good' he nodded, taking no notice to the hint of sarcasm in my voice 'I suppose that you want to know why I'm here then'

'You could say that, yes'

'Well, as you know me and your mother follow your progress here thoroughly, and I must say that lately you have impressed me greatly. The fact that your grades have gone up significantly over the last few months lead me to believe that you have finally changed out of your younger more "troublesome" behaviour and into that suitable of a young adult'

Growing up with my mother you learn to pick your battles, and for the moment, this wasn't a battle I needed. But still, troublesome? Yeah right. 'Ehh…Ok?'

'And I feel that it might be time to get you a bit more involved in your own future'.

For the first time in our entire conversation I looked up from the table and focused my eyes on my dad instead, had he just said what I think he said? 'My future?' I asked sceptically, not really daring to hope for what I was hoping for.

He nodded and I could have sworn I saw a small smile linger on his lips 'Yes. You will be graduating in a few months and before you can take the next step in your life there are a few things that you need to learn. Just like Alex, you have limited knowledge of business management but I do not doubt that you will pick it up just as quickly as he did and…'

As soon as his words began to make sense to me I interrupted him 'But dad, I've told you millions of times, I don't want to follow in Alex' footsteps. There's nothing wrong with what he is doing, but it's not for me'

'Your brother felt the same way when he was your age, but it didn't take him long to understand which kind of future was in his best interest'

'You know dad, somehow I doubt that what Alex felt and what I'm feeling are the same thing' I said sternly, knowing full well that my brother had been following in dad's footsteps since he was three years old. 'Me and Alex are not the same person'

'With your brother heading up the northwest branch of the business, it leaves you with the perfect opportunity to step in with me and begin your training'

I shook my head, feeling myself get more and more agitated by the second. 'Haven't I got any say in this?'

'Your future lies within the family-business son, that's the way it has always been planned. When I retire you and Alec will run GP industries together'

I let out a sigh, this wasn't the first time we had had this conversation, I felt like my entire childhood had been overshadowed by me and my "future" and all the plans for me that I wasn't part of. This was the first time though, that it felt real. 'Alex wants to run it on his own dad, why don't you just let him?'

'I want my company to be run by my sons, both of them'

'But…'

'No buts Dougie. My decision is final'

'But you're not listening to me' I continued louder than before 'I don't want to work for you. I want to travel and see the world, do my own thing'

'Keep your voice down son' my dad continued with his best board-room voice 'I fully understand that. I'd be happy for you to take a gap-year after graduation, just like Alex did'

'Alex, Alex, Alex. For the last time dad, I AM NOT ALEX!' I stood up, pushing my chair back roughly, without breaking eye contact with him. 'I am not Alex!'

He simply shrugged his shoulders 'I am sorry Doug, my decision stands'

I knew what he was saying without even having to hear the words. If I didn't do what he told me to, and came to work for him, I would loose my inheritance. And not just the money-kind.

My life had been planned out for me since the day that I was born, maybe I was a fool for thinking I could change that.


	18. Chapter eleven pt two

Sorry it's so ridicolously short. I'll have the rest up tomorrow, i just wanted to post something tonight.

…

I hurried along the crowded corridor, dodging students and their parents every few feet, seemingly without a goal. My untied tie hung loosely around my neck as I climbed the stairs two at a time. I ran my hand through my hair to ruffle it up a bit - anything to distance myself from my fathers perfect son image - and turned the final corner. I stopped in front of the door and took a deep breath to calm myself down a bit before placing my hand on the handle.

I slowly walked into the dimly lit tower, quietly closing the door behind me as I looked around the room. I noticed a figure at the back of the room, looking out the window, and even with her back to me, I instantly felt that little jolt inside my heart that I felt every time I lay eyes on Sam. Suddenly all my worries seemed million miles away and I could relax completely again.

I crept up to her silently and wrapped my arms around her waist, feeling her jump slightly. I buried my face into her neck, giving the delicate skin a soft kiss. 'Hello beautiful' I mumbled.

I couldn't help but let out a silent sigh as I felt her relax into my arms. All I needed to feel better was to hold her in my arms. She didn't even have to speak, her mere embrace was enough.

Suddenly I heard someone clear their throat and without a second of thought I let go of Sam and took a few rapid steps backwards before turning around to face the person behind us. I quickly laid eyes on a guy standing beside the door and I felt my heart rate speed up until it was beating so strongly I was sure he'd be able to hear it too. I had no idea who this person was, but I knew one thing, he did not look happy, not happy at all.

Oh shit was my first actual thought, what the fk to we do now? I sneaked a sideways glance at Sam and noticed that she wasn't moving. When I looked even closer I found that she had a small smile on her face. I moved my stare from her to the guy and then back again. Slowly my head was kicking back into action, and as I looked at the two people again I started to put two and two together

By this point my thoughts were racing rather quickly and incoherently. Three brothers, I thought solemnly. Big, bigger and I get, what? Biggest?! - Oh holy crap. I'm so dead. Wait, I haven't done anything wrong for a long time, maybe he just wants to say hi.

Eh, yeah right. I'm dating his only sister, he wants to kill me. Oh well, it was nice while it lasted. I leave all my stuff to Danny, and tell Harry that everything he's lost over the last two years is hidden in a shoebox underneath my bed, and ehm, gulp.

I took a few steps towards him and slowly extended my hand. Suddenly my throat had gone strangely dry, despite my continuous efforts to swallow. 'Hi, I'm, ehm, Dougie'

'Jared' he said simply while grabbing my hand.

Oh my god, his hand is like concrete. I met his stare but didn't let go of his hand, to be honest, I was scared to do anything too sudden. Ok…what to do, what to do?

Jared was the first one to break the silence hanging between us. 'So… Sammy here tells me that you two are breaking the rules by being together' he said slowly as he finally let go of my hand.

'Um… yeah?'

'Impressive' He nodded slowly 'So, how long have you been dating my sister then? Are you serious about her' He asked me.

Two questions. I simply nodded and smiled. The two things that can get you away with anything.

With a normal person though, not your girlfriends older brother who just happens to be strong enough to pick you up and take you for a ride over his head. Words Doug, words…

'Yeah' I swallowed quickly 'Around six months I think. And' I turned towards Sam 'Yes, I am'

'Six months ey, I take it you are pretty close then?'

I stared at him with, I hate to admit it, my mouth slightly open due to the shock from what he just asked me. Suddenly I felt like these bright lights appeared out of nowhere, putting me on the spot completely. I think that my girlfriends older brother just asked me if I have had sex with his little sister, oh my god, was the one single thought that my head kept repeating. I think I actually saw my life flash before my eyes. In reality this probably only lasted about a second or two, but to me it was like an eternity.

'Jared!' Sam quickly stepped closer to him and slapped him on the shoulder 'I thought I told you to be nice'

'What?' he said looking down at her while raising his hands in defence 'I am nice'

'Yeah right' Sam huffed before turning to me 'You don't have to answer that, god, Jared…'

I walked closer to Sam and flashed her a small smile before grabbing her hand. For the moment, I didn't care if Jared would approve or not, I just wanted to hold my girlfriends hand. I squeezed it softly and even though I knew that Jared was watching us (mainly me) intently, my smile grew bigger as Sam returned the small gesture.


	19. Chapter eleven end

**Sam **

Me and Jared got to the tower a few minutes before six and my scheduled date with Dougie. We had spent the day walking around the school-grounds talking about pretty much everything, and yet, five hours later, we still had things to talk about.

'So you're basically saying that your boyfriend uses this room to nap?'

I nodded 'Pretty much'

'Interesting' he agreed 'Maybe he isn't so bad after all'

'Jared' I glared at him in disbelief 'You didn't like him before and now you do, cause he has a room that he sleeps in?'

'Yeah, so? I could go back to hating him you know'

'Nah, I don't believe that, you know how much I like him, you wouldn't dare'

'Fine, maybe I wouldn't hate him as such, but as your brother you have to give me the right to dislike him a teeny tiny bit at least'

'I've never said you couldn't' I said in my own defence as I took a seat in the window 'I only told you to be nice'

'Fine' Jared answered with a pout, that I knew he was faking.

'Fine' I replied with a pout, that I knew that Jared knew I was faking.

'Dork'

'Nerd'

'So, when's Dougeee coming then? It's one minute past six, he's late'

'He'll be here. Why are you so anxious anyway?' I asked with a smirk 'You really want to meet him, don't you?'

'I just want to make sure he is good enough for you' Jared answered simply before turning towards the door. 'And it looks like I'll get the chance, someone's at the door' he added with a enthusiastic smile. I opened my mouth to reply, but Jared cut me off. 'I know, I know, be nice…'

I heard the little creek that the door always made whenever someone opened it, followed by the squeak from the floorboard directly in front of it. I knew that Dougie was inside the room, and when the door shut with I quiet click it only confirmed this realisation even more.

A few silent seconds later I felt his hands find their way around my waist, and even though I knew he was in the room I still jumped slightly.

As his lips came into contact with the skin on my neck I felt shivers all over my body and all I could do was relax completely in his arms. For a moment I kind of wished that Jared hadn't been there, it would have been nice to have some alone time with Dougie, but I also knew that we'd have all the time in the world when Jared left. As I heard Doug let out a little sigh I did have to fight the urge to just turn around in his arms and kiss him though, not that I would have done that to my brother, seeing his sister in some guys arms was probably enough to deal with without having us kissing too. And, to be honest, I didn't really feel like kissing Dougie in front of him, for some strange reason what we had felt too private for such a public display.

The moment I had been waiting for came quicker than I expected and I heard Jared clear his voice from somewhere behind us. It was only a fragment of a second, but I could have sworn that Doug tightened his grip on me before he swiftly let go and took a few steps back.

I could see it in his face, how his mind was racing in effort to try and think of a way out of the situation he thought we were in.

I knew it was mean and evil but I couldn't help but want to see how he handled it and, after all, Jared had promised to be nice.

Not that he was though, but I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised over that, I don't really know what I was thinking. For the first couple of minutes I just stood there, on the side, listening to their "conversation". I watched Jared work his scare tactics and I must say that I was slightly proud over the fact that Doug didn't even finch when he shook his hand, not many people has stood up under that pressure.

After answering yet another of my brothers far too intrusive questions I noticed Doug giving me a small smile before walking the few steps that remained between us and slowly entangle his fingers with mine, obviously ignoring the fear my brother was trying to put into him, and when he squeezed it lightly I knew exactly what he was trying to tell me.

I looked back over at Jared and found him with a small smile on his lips. Without having to say anything I knew that he approved, and I realised that I cared about whether he liked Dougie or not a lot more than I thought I did.

…

Jared and Dougie relaxed pretty quickly in each others company and it wasn't long before the conversation between the three of us run as smoothly as ever. Even though I could tell that Jared was doing his best to not show it, it was rather obvious that he was warming up towards Dougie, and the other way around.

'So, just the one brother then?' Jared asked casually as Doug finished telling him about his family. 'Are you close?'

Doug shook his head 'No, not really. We are…' he stopped and seemed to be searching for the right word 'different people'

A small silence lingered in the air after those words, it was obvious that this was something that he didn't like to talk about from the way his eyes kind of lost contact with the rest of him, they way they always did when he had something on his mind.

I was just about to break the silence when he snapped back from his previous state and with a huge smile asked Jared if he had finished his cross-examination yet.

'Alright' Jared answered with a chuckle 'Payback then, ask me anything'

'Mind if I ask you about your black-eye then?' Doug asked after thinking for a few seconds. I quickly looked up at Jared and shot him a glare hoping that my eyes said everything that I wanted them to.

Jared simply smirked at me before turning back to Dougie. 'Sam here got a bit mad at me'

'Really?'

'Yeah' he nodded 'A bit of advice, don't piss her off, she might be tiny, but she's got one hell of a punch'

Doug looked over at me before nodding in agreement 'Good to know'

'Anyway' Jared began a couple of minutes later 'I should get going, I've got a lot of driving to do tonight'

'Ok' I replied as I walked over to give him a hug 'Drive safely'

Jared grinned at me before picking me up from the floor and giving me a bear-hug 'Don't I always?'

'Pfft, yeah right' I huffed 'At least try to stay within the speed limit, for once'

Jared nodded quickly before putting me back down 'I'll call you'

'You better'

As he reached the door he turned around one last time 'Oh, and Doug'

'Yeah'

'If you ever hurt her you know that I will kill you, right?'

'Um…' was all Dougie managed to say back.

'Bye' he added and with a wave of his hand and another big grin he closed the door behind him.

**Dougie **

As I watched the door shut behind Jared I had two things on my mind. One, I was still alive, and two, for how long?

I slowly turned towards Sam who, without me noticing, had walked over to the window, and was now standing looking out at the darkening sky. 'He's only kidding, right?

She nodded, her face still away from me, but still, a little to enthusiastically for my taste. 'Totally yeah, just kidding'

I stood behind her, with my head on her shoulder, and yes, I know how uncomfortable it might sound since she was a bit shorter than me, but it really wasn't so bad, watching the sun set outside the window. Sam had her fingers laced together with mine, resting on her stomach, so that every breath she took, I could feel it in my entire body.

It was strange how we managed to fit together these days. Sometimes I wondered if it was love that did it. That when you've been with a person long enough you just know each other so well that every touch, every kiss seems like routine, not in the boring sense though, it was more that when you kissed you didn't bump noses or wiggle about who leaned to what side and your hands automatically found each other no matter how dark it was around you.

Sam turned and placed her arms around my neck instead, moving slowly until she was as close as she could possibly get. When getting comfortable I could feel her entire body relax and I couldn't help the little smile playing on my lips knowing that it was my embrace that made her feel so. I kissed her gently on her forehead and letting out a small sigh in the process, earning me a look up from Sam.

'I've missed you too much lately' I said, a little bit surprised by the obvious honesty in it.

I think that Sam noticed too - cause she gave me this questioning look - as if asking me if everything was ok. She looked me deep in they eyes, like she knew there was something on my mind that I didn't want to talk about, and gently stroked her hand along my face before giving me the lightest kiss. 'Me too'

…


	20. Chapter twelve

**Chapter twelve **

**Fate **

**Dougie**

I was limping. Leaning heavily on the stone-wall while trying to keep as much weight as possible of my injured ankle. I swore loudly when I passed an archway and had to hobble about unaided, but I didn't stop, if anything, the pain was making me more determined than ever.

Now "walking" in the middle of the corridor I could see the wall that marked the end of the hallway and the place where the nurses office was situated, but at the pace I was going it might aswell have been a mile away.

Suddenly someone inched an arm around my waist and I let out a sigh as this instantly lifted some weight of my foot. I flung my arm around my helpers' shoulder before continuing my rather brisk hobble towards, hopefully, help, or at least, some ice.

'Man you walk fast for a guy with an injured ankle' Danny said with a chuckle as he straightened the both of us up a bit.

'Sorry' I mumbled 'Didn't mean for my horribly injured ankle to make you break a sweat'

'All I'm saying is that if you, instead of running off on your own, had waited for me to help you then maybe you could have avoided hoppling along here all on you own and, apparently in growing pain' he simply answered matter-of-factly.

Knowing he was right I made for the easiest way out 'Hoppling isn't a word'

'Ohh, touchy…'

'Well excuse me' I snapped 'I just happen to be in a bit of pain here, I'm not exactly in the worlds most friendly mood'

'Sorry' he replied while trying to cover up the chuckle that followed it. 'I…um, have no idea what to say now, my mind has gone blank'

Shocked I looked at him 'Seriously? Danny 'I never shut up' Jones doesn't have anything to say. Oh My God'

'I know' he nodded happily 'I'm growing so fast these days, it's rather scary actually'

'My little boy is all grown up' I said rather absent-mindedly before breaking into a smile as I realised that our weird little conversation had kept my mind of my foot for a whole twenty seconds. Sweet.

With Danny's help we had now mover a further fifteen feet along the hallway and the door to the nurse was almost within reach. Having been so determined on getting there on my own, (stubborn much…) I had quite successfully ignored the thumping pain in my foot but the closer we got the more I could feel it. Stupid Harry with his stupid 'you can do it Doug'-speech. Stupid me for doing it. Stupid, stupid and even more stupid.

Despite this little speech I kept on repeating inside my head not doing much for my physical pain, it seemed to do wonders for my mental.

'It's all Harry's fault' I muttered under my breath before letting out a loud groan as I somehow managed to bump my injured foot into my other one. (Makes me wonder if taking the shoe off was such a good idea in the first place…)

'Seriously? You can't possibly blame this one on Harry' Danny replied while literally hoisting me off the floor for a few steps.

'Why not?' I asked with a sideways glare.

'Ehm for one, he didn't force you to play'

'Oh come on, who can resist that "Please play, we're one man short and you're the only one that can save us"-puppy dog-face? I know you fall for it too'

I thought I heard him mutter 'yeah, but I don't suck' but when I asked him to repeat it he simply attempted to shrug his shoulders only to, due mostly to me and my weight, fail rather miserably. 'Fine, It's all Harry's fault, let's all blame Harry' he said clearly this time.

'Thank you'

'You're welcome'

…

'Well Mr Poynter, you seem to have injured your ankle pretty good. It's not broken but there is some major swelling and it will probably pain you for quite a while'

'Awesome' I said sarcastically with a slight grimace as she continually prodded my foot 'Prefect ending to a perfect day'

'Now, it could be worse' Nurse Stanton continued with a smile. 'Think of this as an easy way out of PE. If I remember correctly you're not especially fond of sports…'

I shot her a small amused glare 'Fine, so I might be guilty of one or two lame 'I've injured this, I can't play'-tricks in my old days, but never for real'

'I suppos…' I interrupted her with a sharp intake of air as she slowly began to wrap up my foot 'At least you're not faking it this time' she finished with a chuckle.

A few minutes later me and my newly packaged foot walked out of the room with orders to stay in bed for the rest of the day and to keep it elevated at night.

'Thank you nurse Stanton'

'By all means dear, I think we know each other well enough for first names now don't you?'

'Sure thing' I snickered 'thank you Elise'

'No problem Dougie' she happily replied.

'Bye' I said with a smile as Danny and I closed the door behind us.

'I think I love nurse Stanton' Danny exclaimed happily as he strolled away down the hallway, appearing to have completely forgotten about my recent disability.

'Huh?'

'Yeah, she's got a lovely sense of humour and she's quite fit, right?'

'Dude, she's like 40 or something'

'Really?!' Danny stopped walking and turned towards me. '40?'

'I think so, yeah' I nodded, trying to hide my growing grin 'She's been working here for like 15 years or so'

'Wow' he replied astonishment clearly showing on his face 'Cool'

'Yeah… Now will you please be the gentleman I know that you are and help a fellow damsel in distress out here, I'm kind of struggling'

Upon hearing this Danny seemed to snap out of his current state and quickly got to my side again.

'Sorry' he apologized 'Forgot about my manners there for a second'

'No harm done' I said with a chuckle 'You've been bitten by the 'I fancy and older woman' bug, we've all been there mate, it's completely understandable'

'Thank you'

'You're welcome'

…

Later that night I lay propped up in bed trying to keep myself entertained. A task that wasn't proving to easy I might add, but I was trying my hardest. Judging by the heaps of books, homework and DVD's scattered over the floor beneath me one might say that I seemed hard to please.

That wasn't the fact at all, I just really wanted to see Sam and having to sit around on my behind doing nothing was, well, beginning to get to me. To put it mildly.

I looked at the alarm-clock next to me. 22.15. Danny had left almost twenty minutes ago, with a little luck he should be on his way back by now, or, they should be on their way back by now. My doctors-order to stay in bed had made it a tad bit difficult for me to meet Sam that night, so I had been forced to find a stand-in instead.

I knew that Sam probably would have been clever enough to find her way to my room on her own, in case I didn't show up at out meeting point, but I didn't want her to think that I stood her up.

And also, we had our agreement, that if one of us, for some reason didn't show up, than the other wouldn't go looking for them that night, just in case the other had been caught by a teacher or something like it.

Tonight though, I didn't want her to worry, and I badly wanted to see her, so I'd sent Danny to get her for me.

I forced my eyes away from the clock and rested them unto the book in my lap instead. It wasn't homework, for once, but a normal 'I read for the fun of it'-book and I was actually enjoying it. Up until the point where Danny left I had read almost half the book, but the second that door closed behind him I had been unable to read another word.

With a loud sigh I picked it up and flung it away from me, accidentally catching my big toe in the process. And of course, the big toe that belonged to my injured foot. Let's just say it hurt. A bit.

Right in the middle of my cursing and jumping around on one leg (cause in my head that lessens the pain) I heard a short knock on the door and seconds later Harry walked into the room. I stopped cursing momentarily to wave him into the room before I jumped back onto my bed with one last "fuck".

'Nice language there mate' Harry said with a chuckle as he threw himself on Danny's bed. 'I take it you're still in pain then'

'You could say that yes. I was actually fine up until about a minute ago but then I accidentally threw a book on it'

'You threw a book on a sprained ankle? How stupid are you?'

'Oh shut up, it's not like I planned it' I told him angrily, but when I saw the big grin spreading on his face I couldn't help but smile too. After all, I suppose it was pretty funny.

'Where's Danny tonight then' Harry asked me a few seconds later 'Got bored of your wining and ran off?'

I glared at him, as best as I could from my lying down position. 'Haha, very funny'

'I try to be, yeah' Harry nodded seriously.

'He went to get Sam for me, we were supposed to meet tonight and I couldn't really go myself'

'I see, best leave you to it then' he said and stood up 'Will you tell Danny that if he plans to come over later than eleven, to keep it down, Tom will be asleep and I don't want a grumpy Tom to deal with. Last time Danny woke him up Tom retaliated by not waking either of us up for breakfast'

'Ouch' I replied with a chuckle 'No problem, I'll tell him when he gets here'

'Thanks'

Harry closed the door behind him and I was once again left to my own thoughts. I looked at the clock again. 22.50. Hm, time to get nervous yet I wondered?


	21. Chapter twelve part two

**Sorry for the wait. I had to change loads and it took me a while to get it right again. I hope this does it. **

**Sam - alternate ending**

'Sam, for the last time, please sit down, all this walking around in circles is making me nauseous'

'But…'

'You're seeing him in under an hour' Trinny continued as she placed her hands on my shoulders and pushed me down onto the bed 'trust me, it wont kill you to relax for a second or two'

'Fine' I said with a sigh and lay back on my bed 'But I'm only doing it cause I have nothing else to do and my feet are starting to ache'

'Fine by me. Why are you so anxious to see him anyway?'

I shot her a look, trying to tell her that she should already know the answer to that question. 'Because I haven't seen him in two weeks Trin, that's why'

'Oh, right, must have slipped my mind'

'Again'

'Again'

'How come it's been so long this time then? Normally you see each other like three or four times a week'

'I know, but lately there's always been something getting in the way, if it's not a test, or homework, then it's something else. Did you know that Doug almost got caught out the other night, he had to dive down a flight of stairs to get away'

Trinny looked as if she was about to say something that she wasn't so sure she should say 'And you're saying what, that it's not it worth it?'

'No' I shook my head 'It's just that sometimes I wish that it didn't have to be so hard all the time, that for once, something would go our way you know'

'Hm' she nodded 'I didn't realise that it was so hard on you, you usually don't let it show'

'Maybe so' I replied with a small laugh 'I'm just tired of pretending it's easy'

'But it's worth it?' she asked, more a statement than an actual question.

'Yeah, totally'

I knew how good I was at making other people believe what I told them. My biggest problem though, had always been to believe it myself.

…

Before I met Dougie I never used to worry about running into a teacher when I was out past curfew. Even though I did it most nights, and knew that getting caught would get me in trouble, it never even phased me.

As I walked down the hallway later that night all I could think about was how that initial feeling of safety had changed. Now, if I heard someone coming towards me in the corridor my pulse would speed up and I would instantly look for a place to hide. If this happened when I was with Dougie, it only got ten times worse. Mainly, cause when you have something to loose, you realise just how much you would do not to let it happen, and just how much it would hurt if it did.

I turned the corner and stepped into a almost pitch black hallway. I turned around but quickly realised that I couldn't go back, walking the long way around would take me at least fifteen minutes, and I was already late as it was. No, I didn't really have a choice. The black hallway it was.

I let out an annoyed sigh before taking a few steps to my right, getting close enough so that I could touch the wall with my fingers and soon press my entire palm against the cool surface. I stared into the darkness while cursing rather vividly under my breath as I started to walk slowly down the corridor.

The thing I had always hated about darkness is how it magnifies every little sound and makes it so much more. I listened to my own footsteps as they echoed behind me and was half expecting someone to jump out behind me or put their hand on my shoulder at any minute. I even felt my shoulders tense up, as in preparation for the hand I somehow had told myself was about to come.

'Fk this' I said out loud after a few more steps. Getting tired of my own paranoia I took my hand off the wall and stepped into the middle of the hallway instead. 'It is late and I'm the only one out here, it's not like I'm gonna run into anyone, I might aswell walk like a normal person'

'I don't know if normal persons talk to themselves while walking down blacked-out corridors' I suddenly heard a familiar voice say, and to say that I jumped, well, that would have been a heavy understatement.

'FK!' I cursed loudly as I pressed my hand over my racing heart. 'Fking hell! You scared the shit out of me Dan'

'Sorry' he replied with a chuckle, and I heard him take a few steps towards me. I squinted my eyes together and were able to make out the figure of Danny standing in front of me. Getting the confirmation I needed that he was close enough I reached out and punched him on the arm as hard as I could.

'Ouch! What was that for?' he wined 'I said I was sorry'

'That was for sneaking down a blacked-out corridor and scaring the crap out of me'

'What was I supposed to do then? I was minding my own business, walking down a black corridor when suddenly I heard someone curse and then talk to themselves, it's not something you come across every day you know' he said, trying his hardest to keep laughter out of his voice, as we continued our walk down the hallway.

'You could have let me know that you were there you know'

'I didn't even know that we were that close to each other until I heard you curse, trust me, had I known you were that close to me I would have scared you in a much better way than that'

'Jerk' I said as angrily as I could, but I had a feeling he knew I was smiling just as much as he was.

'Thank you' he replied proudly 'I shall take that as a compliment.

I shook my head at his comment. 'What are you doing here anyway?' I asked as it suddenly hit me; Danny was here and Dougie wasn't.

Danny chortled to himself before answering me 'Poor Doug is in bed, he twisted his ankle during rugby today and can't move'

I looked at him, and the look on my face was obviously amusing since he started to laugh again 'I didn't know Dougie played rugby'

'He doesn't' Danny said with a knowing look. 'And if he says anything about it, just agree that it was Harry's fault'

'Ok…'

'It's easier that way, trust me'

Together we took one of the less used corridors on our way back to his and Doug's room but we didn't get far before Danny put his arm out to stop me from moving. Surprised by this move I almost stumbled into him as I tried to figure out why he suddenly stopped talking.

It didn't take me many seconds to hear what he had heard, and as the sound of someone coming closer and closer filled my head I could think of only one thing; Dougie.

…

**Dougie**

I think I heard the steps in the hallway before the handle even turned, and in an instant I was on my feet jumping towards the door as fast as I could. I wasn't even halfway though when Danny slid through the door and quietly closed it behind him.

I knew that he knew I was standing in front of him but he didn't look up at me, instead he just kept his gaze fixed on the floor beneath him.

'Dan?' I said quietly as I took another step towards him.

At the sound of my voice he finally looked up and met my eyes, and I could tell by the look on his face that something had gone wrong.

'What happened?'

'We got caught' he said simply. 'We were walking along one of the empty hallways upon third when we suddenly ran into a teacher. We were talking about something and laughing and I just forgot what we were doing and to look out and before I knew it we weren't alone anymore' he continued quietly as he took a seat on his bed 'I heard it first and stopped Sam but I think it was already too late, whoever was coming towards us had already hear two pairs of voices and I couldn't get her out of the way. I'm so sorry Doug, I tried, I really tried, but it was too late, I couldn't hide her away'

He shook his head slowly as I remained unable to speak. I heard the words coming out of him mouth by my head was having trouble taking them in.

'There was nothing we could do. I tried to talk but she wouldn't let me or Sam say anything. It was one of the girls teachers, some old hag I've never seen before and I'm sure she never had Sam in anything either by the way she looked at us. I think that Sam knew from the moment she walked up to us that it was bad cause all she kept doing was whispering "I'm sorry" over and over again. I didn't realise what she meant until the teacher walked straight up to me and grabbed me by the arm. She just made Sam walk us back to her room and the she left her there and dragged me off to the principals-office'

'Have they…um, are you…?' I couldn't even form the words. All I could think about was that Danny was taking the blame for something that I had done and that it should have been me.

'What? Expelled me?' Danny asked and even managed a small smile 'No, I'm as Mr Mooncrap put it on "disciplinary suspension" for two weeks. Then I've got detention 'til the day I die pretty much, and just about every other form of punishment there is on this school'

'But, how can you, I mean, isn't it in the rules that if a boy and girl get caught out together it means immediate expulsion?'

'Dude, my parents own like half this school, and for some reason even I can't understand, I have pretty reasonable grades, they couldn't kick me out even if they wanted to'

'What about Sam?' I asked, dreading the answer.

'I don't know. The teacher who caught us didn't mention Sam's name to the principal, I think they thought that I had lured her out or something like that'

'But..' I began but I had trouble forming the right words, I was too busy trying to take in everything Danny had just told me. 'How can you be here then, now I mean, if you're suspended?'

He shrugged his shoulders before answering 'Mr Mooncrap said that he couldn't really kick a student out in the middle of the night so he sent me back here. Come eight o'clock tomorrow I am out of here'

'Dan, I…I don't know what to say'

'Don't worry about me, I'll be fine' he replied with a yawn as he crawled underneath his covers. 'No if you don't mind, I've had an exhausting night, I'm gonna get some sleep'

Without another word I lay back on my bed, my head filled with what he had just told me. Despite not being there myself I couldn't get the image of the two of them getting caught out of my mind, the harder I closed my eyes the more clear the images became.

After listening to Danny snore for a while I got out of bed and pulled on a hoodie. Broken foot or not, at that moment I couldn't care less, I had to get out of that room and away from my own thoughts. Danny had told me that Sam's name hadn't been mentioned, but what if he was wrong? What if this would be the last straw for Sam and she would be - I couldn't even think about that possibility, I just couldn't.

I limped along the hallways, thankful for the painkillers I had taken before I went to bed, and before I knew it I was standing outside the door to Sam's tower. I had no idea why I had walked there, or what I was going to do there, but for some reason I just felt like the tower was the only place I could go.

Before I even came up the last set of stairs I knew that I wasn't alone. The door at the top stood slightly ajar and the little light above the small doorway was lit. I say I knew because of the physical signs, but I had a feeling that she was up there, and when I stepped up on the platform Sam's back was the first thing my eyes found.

I figured that she must have known that I was there, but she didn't move, not even when I sat down next to her.

I took a deep breath before speaking 'Danny told me what happened, I'm so sorry'

'Don't be' she said quietly 'It's my fault'

'Sam…'I began

'Doug, don't. I got careless, I should have known better' she interrupted me quickly, but she still didn't look at me, she just kept her gaze straight ahead, just like me, trying to spot something unknown to the both of us.

'I should have come and got you instead of sending Danny, it was stupid'

'Danny got in trouble because of us. I know what can happen when we do this, if I get caught it would be one thing, but he shouldn't have been caught in the middle like that' Sam said angrily and I knew that she didn't mean for it to sound like she blamed me, but I couldn't help but take it like that.

'I know this is my fault' I began slowly 'But…'

'Danny's in a lot of trouble, isn't he?' Sam asked when I didn't continue my sentence.

'He got suspended for two weeks, along with just about every form of punishment possible' I said quietly. 'He acts like it doesn't bother him, but I know him well enough to see right through that. He's only trying to protect you'

I realised too late how that might have sounded like I blamed her, but I didn't take it back. I knew that Sam was blaming herself just as much as I was blaming myself, but I also knew that nothing either of us could say would make it any better. We sat in silence for the next couple of minutes and when Sam spoke next she did it so quietly that I had to lean closer to her to heard it clearly.

'When it's only you and me it's one thing, but when others take our blame, it becomes something bigger, something uncontrollable'

**Sam**

'Maybe we should take some time off or something' I said so quietly, that if I hadn't felt Dougie stiffen beside me I wouldn't have thought he heard me.

'Like break up?' he asked me and the tone of his voice sent a searing pain through my heart. Memories came flashing back from another moment like this, and it took every ounce of my self-control to keep me from bursting into tears at that moment.

'No, just take some time apart, it's not too long until school finishes and then maybe…' for the first time since he joined me in the tower I looked at him, and suddenly I realised that he was looking down at his hands which were clasped tightly in his lap. 'What's wrong?'

'Nothing'

'Dougie, I know there is something on your mind, and it's obviously something big since it has such an effect on you' I said slowly, for I was pretty sure that I didn't want to hear what he had to tell me.

He turned towards me and looked me in the eye before answering. 'It's my dad…' he began slowly and for every word he spoke my world seemed to get a little bit smaller.

I didn't say anything out loud, and neither did Dougie, but we both know that this meant that we couldn't be together after graduation either.

…

Dougie moved his arm and gently laid it over my shoulders. I let myself relax into his embrace and rested my head against his shoulder.

'It's like our own little world, except that the real world is just around the corner, with it's rules and regulations and everyone against us' I mumbled quietly.

'Don't think like that' he began grabbing my hand 'I know this is hard…'

I yanked my hand away from his before answering 'Hard?! Yeah, I guess you can say hard. I'm just so tired of sneaking around all the time and having to hide. I hate not being able to be myself'

'I know'

For some strange reason, at that moment all I could think about was this essay I had written the previous week, about secrecy and lies. I couldn't remember all of it, but my final sentence had been: Sometimes you don't ask questions, not because you're scared of being lied to, but because you're scared they might tell you the truth. I hadn't realised up until that moment, just how true that was.

'It won't work, will it? ' I finally looked up at his face and said the words that I really didn't want to say out loud. 'Your dad wont change his mind'

'No' he admitted.

I sighed quietly. 'Figures' I said simply.

'This doesn't have to mean anything' Dougie continued, and I could tell he was trying his hardest to give me hope, and keep me from giving up completely. 'It's just one thing, we can think of other ways around it'

'I'm just so tired of fighting'

'I know' he agreed quietly. 'I know'

'I hate this!' I suddenly screamed, unable to keep my frustration inside anymore.

Doug pulled me into his arms, despite my struggling and held me tight. I pounded his chest repeatedly but he didn't even flinch. He just kept whispering soothing words and held me tight until I with a sob relaxed into his arms 'I'm so tired of fighting'

'Me too'


	22. Chapter thirteen

**For some freak reason my computer has shuffled at least ten of the saddest songs I have on my computer while I was writing this, if I'm lucky, maybe it will have rubbed off a bit.**

**This chapter is a bit shorter than normal, but, in my head, it really shouldn't be any longer. It also contains the very first sentence I wrote for this story, and the first two lines are the original beginning of the story…**

Chapter thirteen

**Kiss it worse**

**Doug**

Ever heard the old saying 'kiss it better'- how a single kiss can make everything better? Well, not everything is as easy as that.

Sometimes you find yourself in a situation where a single kiss can seem like bliss for those first faithful seconds but then reality hits, and that one kiss only makes things worse.

I felt myself disappearing deeper into my thoughts, but at the same time, the arm I had draped around Sam's shoulders anchored me to reality. It was a sickening feeling, wanting to be as far away from the mess we'd created as humanly possible, and feeling a need to stay where I was, if only so that I could touch her the slightest and still be able to.

This was what it had come down to. Two people and love. I used to think that that was enough, now I wasn't not so sure anymore. The mere thought of having to give Sam up, to not be able to see the only person who mattered more to me than anyone, was too big to comprehend.

The feeling of not being in control of your own life was beginning to overwhelm me completely. I knew that my parents had their plans for me but I always figured that I'd be able to avoid them. I didn't think that I would actually be forced to fit into their little puzzle. How I had managed to look the other way for so long I have no idea. If I had thought about it for a split second longer I would have seen that it was Alex and Me, Me and Alex, and the plan was the same for the both of us. Whether I wanted to or not.

It was the perfect son versus the misfit. And the misfit was loosing.

How do you know when it's time to give up? When the thoughts you've been trying so hard to keep out finally pushes their way in, making it impossible for you to avoid them, and when the whole world seems to turn against you. Yet you still can't give up, despite the pain you still want to fight, for in the end, the prize is worth the fight. A year ago I wouldn't have had the faintest idea, now, it was a knowledge I'd rather not have. How do you know when it's time to give up?

It's the moment when you realise that maybe will isn't always enough. That no matter how hard you fight, and how much faith you have, it still won't make any difference.

I looked down at our entangled hands, the barrier that had seemed unbreakable, now it was the only thing holding our last hope together, and tried to imagine it gone.

'There's only one thing we can do' Sam's voice was crystal clear, despite my effort to block it out. I knew what she was talking about, but I didn't want to believe it.

**Sam**

_We both understand that we__ve got no way back_

_Oh, how her love was strange, in a strange land_

Just like that I was loosing everything I had ever wanted. I wanted to scream and shout but I knew it would make no difference. My heart still wouldn't want to let go.

Earlier that night I had found myself wondering why I cared so much. Looking from the outside I saw to people, two young people, with their entire lives ahead of themselves, being broken apart by something so insignificant.

I knew that I loved Dougie, but my head was trying to tell me that sometimes love just isn't enough, and that there will always be more of it, that I should not let this one thing ruin me completely. But at the same time I couldn't stop it. My heart was in it, and had been from the first moment, and nothing I could do would erase that fact.

I felt like I had to say it, we had been sitting in that tower for so long, both knowing what was coming, but neither wanting to acknowledge it, and to some extent, that only prolonged the suffering. 'There's only one thing we can do'

To my surprise Dougie responded almost instantly. 'I know' he said solemnly, and there was something in his voice that told me that he had finally accepted it too. That we weren't going to win this battle. I hadn't expected just how much it would hurt to hear him say those words though and the feeling of someone ripping my heart in two was overwhelming. Dougie's hope had been the last thing holding us together, and now that he let go, I felt myself falling, and I didn't know how to make myself stop.

'So I guess we won't have our happy ending then?' I asked quietly, but despite my pain I didn't cry. For some reason, I felt like I didn't have any tears left to cry.

'We will' Dougie replied, his eyes never leaving mine 'just not together'

I clasped his hand tighter than ever and leaned so close that our foreheads were touching. Without letting my eyes leave his, I grazed my lips over his gently, letting the feelings from what I knew was our last kiss, wash over me completely.

'I can't believe I'm never going to get to hold you again' Doug murmured as he placed his hands on my cheeks.

'At least it's not one sided this time' I said with a small smile, that Doug managed to return.

'It still hurts though'

'I know. More than ever'

'Can you feel this' he asked me as he placed my hand over his heart. 'It will always be beating for you. I will always love you'

I swallowed hard in an effort to keep my tears away 'I will always love you too'

**Doug**

_We__ve got broken wings, we were bound to fall_

_Until the sun comes up, you can hold my hand. _

As the sun set over the grounds, I held Sam's hand tighter than ever, for what we both knew were our last moments together.

The last remaining part of the sun dipped below the horizon and the heavy darkness soon surrounded every inch of the school-perimeter.

If you had looked up at the tower, in the last few seconds before darkness feel you might have seen two shadows, sitting so close together it was almost hard to tell them apart. You would have watched them, not moving, and walked away in the dark, wondering if it was just in your head, or if you had just seen what you thought you had seen. Two people spending the last moments of the day together. Two people, that by the looks of it, probably shouldn't have been together in the first place.

What you wouldn't have seen though, was their feelings, their pain, their honesty and you wouldn't have heard the last words they spoke to each other.

'Goodbye Dougie'

'Goodbye Sam'

You wouldn't have seen the single tear fall from the girls cheek as she turned and walked out of the boys' life. And you wouldn't have seen the emptiness of the boys eyes as he stared out into the black nightsky, wondering, over and over again, what he could have done differently, if he could have done anything differently.


	23. Chapter fourteen

I'm back. The ending is quite crap, but I can't make it any way else tonight and I'm sick of it. Hope it's good for something at least.

**Chapter fourteen - I know we'd do anything for love **

**Dougie**

It hits you when you least expect it. When you're walking down the same road as always but then realise that you have not intention - no need - to take the usual right. And that you probably never will again.

It hits you as you look around you, at the mountain of boxes that stand piled up around you, that this is no longer your home.

The same four walls that had kept you safe for the last few years no longer hold your posters and the bed is no longer a crumbled up inviting mess, but a stripped frame and a bare dodgy mattress.

As I looked around the room where I had lived for the last three years of my life I couldn't help but feel a little pang of something, deep inside. Not that I was about to cry or anything, god I'm not that much of a wuss, all I'm saying is that it was a little bit sad. That's all.

I looked at my box-mountain and let out a small sigh. It was hard to believe that all that crap actually belonged to me. And even harder to believe that I was going to carry every single one of the down three flights of stairs and through the entire school. I mean, me, carry all of those, geez.

One would think that an upper-class school like this would supply some kind of help for their poor weak students when it's time to leave, but no. I like to think of it as dear old Wintworth last chance to really stick it to you. And, as you might now by now, when Wintworth decides to stick it, they stick it good.

I had already asked Danny if I couldn't just throw everything away but his reply had been, plain and simple: sure you can, you still have to carry it to the bins though, and they're ever further away than the car-park. Finished off with a evil grin. Of course.

The only thing that lifted my spirits on this gloomy day was the fact that Danny's pile was bigger than mine. A lot bigger.

I suppose that's what eleven years of Wintworth confinement does to you. Or, in other words, HA!

…

'I think I'm actually going to miss this' Danny said as he pierced yet another piece of meatloaf on his fork 'Who would have known that cafeteria-food could actually taste this nice?'

'Mm, I know' I mumbled in response, not really paying much attention to what he was saying.

'Even the peas' he continued enthusiastically 'Are perfect, like not too mushy, but not to hard either'

'You do realise that you're talking about peas, yeah?'

'Well, if a certain someone would actually say a word every now and then, then maybe I wouldn't have to talk about peas to entertain myself. I do notice when you don't listen you know'

I looked up from my plate as his words sunk in, feeling a bit guilty as I realised that this wasn't exactly the first time over the last few weeks that I had only pretended to listen 'Sorry, I was miles away'

'Dude, you've got to get over this. I know you feel bad but seriously, you need to get back to normal'

'What are you talking about? I am normal'

Danny eyed me over his plate 'Yeah right. I get that all this love-stuff messed you up, but, like I said, you have to get over it. We're graduating this place in less than two days, you need to be happy and celebrate this with me'

'But…'

'No buts. Love does this with you, especially when you loose it, but you just have to deal with it and get on with your life. It's not healthy to dwell on things like this. Trust me, I know.'

'Wh…' I shook my head, not really knowing what he just said. 'Really?!

'Well' Danny replied with a small smile 'Not really. But I could have'

I shot him a look, yeah right.

'Ok, I read it in some magazine I borrowed from Trinny. You can learn a lot from those I tell you' he added with a knowing smile. 'Well worth the read.'

…

'So, the last supper, over and done with' Danny exclaimed as we got back to our room after dinner. 'If I hadn't been so manly I suppose this fact should make me feel sad. Thank god I'm not.'

'Yeah' I nodded 'I mean, you've got the Spiderman PJ's to prove that you are.' I continued with a chuckle as I noticed them neatly folded on top of his bed. 'Manly, I mean'

He glared at me across his bed 'I know you're only jealous of my Spidey'

I nodded. 'Right, course I am. Throw me that bag will you' I said and went on to stuff it full with the clothes currently strewn on top of my desk.

'Doug, you can't just shove all your clothes in like that, they will get all wrinkly. What would your mother say?'

I shot him a look before stuffing even more clothes into the bag. 'I doubt that she would even notice'

'I suppose' Danny agreed 'But still, it wouldn't kill you to at least fold the shirts'

I guess it's fair to say that I ignored his last statement. 'Are these yours?' I asked holding up a pair of boxers that I found discarded under my bed 'They're like huge'

'Lemme see' Danny said walking closer 'Nope, not mine'

'Eww' I couldn't help but let out as I quickly flicked the boxers into the already overflowing bin bag next to me. 'Gross'

'They're probably Harry's' Danny's voice came from somewhere under his bed 'I've stopped remembering how many I've stolen from him by now'

'We've had some good times though, haven't we?' I said, feeling the need to reminisce a least a little bit.

'Yeah' he agreed with a content look on his face. 'Do you regret any of it?' he asked suddenly.

'Regret what?' I asked. 'Playing pranks on Harry and Tom?'

'You know' he quickly glanced up from his bag before adding the one thing I didn't think he would 'Sam'

'Oh' I said as I sat down on my bed 'No'

Danny seemed surprised by my answer, and maybe I should have been too. 'Really? Despite everything, you still would do it again'

I nodded. 'In a heartbeat' I replied honestly.

'Wow' he said thoughtfully. 'I wouldn't know what love felt like if it hit me in the face'

'It's not like in movies, where everything is perfect all of a sudden.' I realised that I was voicing thoughts I hadn't even been sure I had, but once I started I couldn't stop. 'It's more like, once it happens, you spend all your time realising how much can go wrong. Especially if you have a lot of things going against you, even in the happiest moments it's always right there, that if you close your eyes for just a second too long, that you'll wake up and it will all have been a dream.'

'I'm… um…sorry. I didn't mean to, you know' Danny said apologetically. 'I didn't know'

'Don't worry about it' I shrugged him off 'Let's just talk about something else'

'Ok.' His face suddenly lit up and he stood up and got something out of his bag. 'You're never going to believe what I've got'

'What?' I asked, thankful for his never-ending ability to change the subject.

'This' Danny said as he held up a familiar item in front of me.

'Ooohhh. They're gonna kill you so bad'

'I know' he nodded, apparently very proud of himself.

Danny handed me the wooden doll and a huge grin spread across my face I turned it over. I couldn't believe he had stolen Boris. Even for Danny, this was pretty big.

I guess I should explain who Boris is. Well, we've had this two on two football-competition the last few years (some guy named Todd used to play before I came to Wintworth but no one really liked him), and for some reason not even I can understand, Danny and I always win. At least up until a few weeks ago when Tom and Harry won. I mean, Harry being like a god at anything to do with sports and all, but still, he's got Tom on his team. And, not that he's bad or anything, it's just that I'm better, and I'm not very good.

Anyway, over the years this little competition has become quite, well, competitive, as the winners pretty much win the right to make fun of the others for the next term. I suppose that it's not that surprising that, it being Harry and Tom's first win and all, they have had slight issues talking about anything else. Even Tom, will not shut up about it. I mean, they even built a shrine in their room to hold Boris.

'It's worth it though' Danny grinned at me.

'Totally'

Suddenly we were interrupted by a rapid knock on the door. Danny and I faced each other and then looked down at Boris. 'I guess this is it' Danny spoke first. 'Nice knowing you mate'

'You too' I replied and as I shook his hand I watched him carefully place Boris in his back pocket.

I stood up from the bed and slowly walked over to the door, only to open it and come face to face with rather pissed off looking Tom and Harry.

'Where is he?' Harry asked quickly.

'What? Not even a Hello?' I smiled back at them. 'Where's who?'

Harry glared at me and then focused his gaze over my shoulder and onto Danny instead. 'Give him back'

Danny simply smiled innocently before blurting out 'Doug was in on it too' and standing up.

I dared one look at Tom and Harry, shifted to Danny and without saying a word we both lunged for the door. I don't know how me actually managed to get through the door without being pinned down, but we did, and seconds later I was running as fast as possible down the hallway.

'So long suckers!' was the last thing I heard Danny yell before we turned the corner and raced on through the school.

**Sam**

I would have thought that I would care more. That I would have felt at least a little bit sad about leaving this place. And believe me, I searched thoroughly, deep down inside, but didn't feel a thing.

In fact, I couldn't wait until I was allowed to leave and finally make this place a distant memory. Eleven years. Well, not everyone could be expected to get all soppy about leaving, right?

Besides I had Trinny to do that for me. Geez that girl can get emotional when she wants to.

"Wont' you miss all your friends Sam?" Of course I will, just like I said the last fifteen times you asked me the same thing Trinny" usually followed by a "just because I haven't been crying 24/7 for the last week doesn't mean that I'm not going to miss this place. I am just not that bothered by it. I prefer to focus on the fact that in less that a weeks time this place will be behind us - a thing in the past - and I can finally live a little.

"How can you speak like that about your home? Eleven years Sam. ELEVEN YEARS!"

Yeah, did I mention that amongst all the tears she managed to get just a tad bit overdramatic too? Imagine the joy that last week had been…

Anyway, where was I? Right, last day of school. Me and Trinny were sitting amongst just about every student in school, and quite a few parents, listening to what seemed like never-ending speeches from just about every teacher in this place. I had spent almost the entire day thinking about my speech. I say most of it because there was probably a few blissful seconds when I woke up this morning when I didn't think about the fact that I had to give a speech. It's not that I was nervous, or unprepared, I just didn't really want to do it. I didn't want to go up on that stage and talk to the entire graduating class about how much we'd learned during the years and how much we'd miss this place, when in reality I couldn't wait to get out of here and never having to look back again.

Might just be me, but I had a feeling that speech wouldn't go down too well with the faculty.

Before I knew it, principal Moonshine had finished his speech and it was my time to take the stage. I left my seat rather reluctantly but as I walked along the rows of seats I suddenly stopped feeling nervous. I didn't know where it came from but somehow I knew exactly what I was going to do. The last few steps seemed a lot easier and when I took my place behind the podium all I felt was strangely calm. I looked out over the sea of people and at that point I couldn't help the smile that spread across my lips.

As I opened my mouth to speak I remembered something Dougie said to me once, about loosening up and relaxing a bit more and for once the memory left me feeling more happy than sad. And, thinking about what I was about to do, and how all of it was because of him, I couldn't help but thinking that he'd be proud of me.

**Doug**

Now I know what you're thinking. What about her? The girl? Sam? The one thing that really matters. Well.

Since meeting Sam and falling so completely for her I could never have imagined not having her by my side. Not even when we hadn't seen each other for weeks, did I mind too much, the mere knowledge that she was at the same place as me was quite enough.

I was surprised at how I was surviving without her. In some moments with her I was sure that I would seize to breath if she ever left me, and yet, there I was, on my own, both breathing and surviving.

I still loved her, of course I did, but I suppose that I had come to the conclusion that nothing I did could change what had happened, and as sad as it made me, I was doing ok without her.

Despite thinking about her every minute on the day and being reminded of her even when doing the simplest things I didn't let my loss take over completely. It wasn't meant to be, and somehow I had accepted that.

I did see her one last time though. On the last day of school (how's that for fitting…?) and to say that I didn't feel anything, that all the history between us had just fizzled away would be a gigantic lie.

I wasn't even looking for her when I found her. I was just scanning the crowd of people around me when my eyes landed on her and Trinny, sitting not too far away, laughing about something.

For a split second I hoped that she would turn her head and see me looking at her, but somehow I knew that she wouldn't. What surprised me the most though, was the fact that I didn't need her to look at me, just the fact that she was happy was quite enough for me.

I know. I'd grown up quite a bit by this point, don't you think?

As the screeching sound from the speaker-system spread across the room, I turned towards the stage and focused my eyes on the figure of principal Moonshine instead. I felt Danny nudge me in the side and I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face as I realised that he had noticed Mr Moonshines choice of suit too. Even from where we were sitting, on like the eleventh road, the colour of his tie seemed to scream insults at you, and along with his backcombed, greased-up hair, well, the result was rather amusing.

Not paying much attention to his speech it wasn't until a slow clap spread through the crowd of people that I realised that he had stopped speaking. With a sigh I remembered that it must be time for the students graduation-speech. Great, another dull ten minutes about how fantastic this place is and how much it has thought us. Yawn.

It wasn't until I turned my head to the left side of the room, and Sam making her way towards the front. I quickly straightened up a bit, the speech would probably be as boring as ever, but at least I would get to hear her voice, I thought feeling only a little pathetic at how I was reacting.

I watched her take the stage, looking more confident that ever, and when she smiled out to the audience I couldn't help but smile back. I know that smile, I thought to myself, that's my smile, the one she stole from me that night in the tower, claiming that it might come in handy one of these days. Suddenly the prospect of a graduation-speech seemed so much more enjoyable.

'Class of 2008' Sam began, her voice loud and clear. 'I know that it is a great honour to be selected to give the graduation-speech here at Wintworth, one that had been carried through the generations of students at this school to finally land on my shoulders' she continued before turning towards the chairs where Mr Moonshine and the rest of the teachers where sitting. 'I hope you all know how much we appreciate the first class education you have given us over the years, and I know this is the point where I should start listing all the qualities that this school had left me with. However…' she paused slightly, before looking out at the sea of students again.

'Screw that'

I am not kidding when I say that the whole room seemed to do a sharp intake of breath, all at once. If the students were shocked though, they had nothing on the teachers, and especially Mr Moonshine. The look on his face was completely priceless, and it was pretty clear that he couldn't believe that his best student just cursed in her graduation speech.

Sam looked out over the crowd apparently pleased with the reaction her words got. 'No offence or anything Mr Moonshine, but some of us have been here for more than eleven years, I think it's about time we get to relax and celebrate for a minute or two. I think we've spent enough time inside this room today, let's spend our last few hours at this school having fun, together.'

'This is our chance to be co-ed for a while. Let's make the most of it' she said with a smile as she stepped down from the podium. 'School's out people, I say we enjoy it!'

I was clapping before I even stood up.

'WHOA!' I heard Danny shout from beside me, and when I looked over he, Harry and Tom where all standing up cheering.

It took another second and then Trinny was joining in too, and I guess her doing that was enough to get the rest of the girls onboard too.

Before I knew it the deafening sound of 150 kids cheering filed the hall, and if I'm not mistaken I could have sworn I saw a few of the teachers smile and clap too.

I looked up at the stage and soon found Sam standing there with the biggest smile on her face. My eyes met hers as they did so she burst out laughing, in a "look what I just did" kind of manner.

I grinned back and followed her with my eyes as she jumped of the stage and ran up to Trinny, who happily hugged her.

I turned back to Danny and the others as they stood, still cheering, with the biggest grins covering their faces. It only took me a moment to realise that my own was just as big, and at that point I decided that for the next few hours I wouldn't think about anything besides having fun.

As Sam said, I think I deserved it.

…


	24. Chapter Fifteen pt one

**It took me a year, but I made it. Finally. This chapter took me ages to write, I hope it's a worthy ending (yes, for real this time) and that you will like it. Thanks for sticking with me for so long. X's Sofie**

**--**

**Chapter fifteen - Time...**

**Sam**

I walked down the semi-crowded London street, absent-mindedly following the directions on the piece of paper in my hand while looking around for something to tell me that I was doing the right thing. Despite knowing for almost a week that it was actually happening, I couldn't seem to take it in. maybe it was nerves, or maybe it was just me being afraid, but with every step I took my feet seemed to get heavier and heavier and when I reached the final street corner I had to stop and take a few deep breaths before forcing myself to take the final strides.

My insides were in turmoil and not for the first time that day I was beginning to wonder what I had gotten myself into. Why was I so nervous? I walked all the way up to the club-entrance before stopping again. I looked down at my jeans and t-shirt and suddenly felt self-conscious. Should I have dressed up more? Should I even be here?

Would he even want to see me again?

It had been a year.

365 days since I last saw him, and spoke to him. It was a long time, and yet, had I really gotten anywhere?

I knew that I had to at least try to see him. Maybe I could go inside, see him and it could be up to him, and I wouldn't have to be the one to make the first move. As I left my jacket in the wardrobe it suddenly hit me that I didn't even know if the Dougie I had known was still the same Dougie. Maybe he had moved on, like a normal person would have, and not be like me, frantically holding on to the past, or some made up image of the past.

The life that I'd left behind had been so different. I liked the place where I was now but something was missing. It was like I couldn't let go of Wintworth before I saw Dougie again. I needed to see him again, one last time, for closure or answers maybe, I didn't really know, all I knew was that I couldn't go on and pretend my life was perfect when I wasn't sure if it actually was.

Even if he had moved on, I reasoned, I just wanted to see him once again, to make sure. Make sure of what I didn't really know, or maybe I did, I just didn't want to admit it to myself yet.

If you'd asked me why I had waited so long to find him again I wouldn't have been able to answer you. I had asked myself that same question so many times but not one of the answers I came up with was good enough.

During the last couple of weeks, when I had finally managed to track him down and I knew where he would be, I hadn't allowed myself to wish. I knew what I was hoping for deep down inside, but at the same time I knew it wasn't that easy. We were both different people now. Not that I gave this much thought, It would have hurt to much to even think about things that could go wrong. Or even right. All I wanted to do was to see him again, everything else could wait.

Without really realising it, I had made it into the actual club and was now standing by the bar at the back of the room. I looked around me, at the dark painted walls and blackened stage, and despite the whole place looking rather run-down there was this feeling about it. Like the moment you stepped inside the door you knew that once the lights were dimmed and the amps turned up, it came alive and turned into something completely different.

It was a place where people came for the music. And for the music only. I'd only been in there for ten minutes and I already loved it.

Within a few minutes the lights dimmed and the cheers from the crowd got even louder. It was hard to imagine a small act like Danny and Dougie to have this much attention, but then again, what did I know, maybe they were bigger than I'd imagined.

The stage was still blacked out but you could hear the rhythmic sound of drums spreading through the room, soon followed by the soft strumming of a guitar. And another and finally a base aswell. I craned my neck so that I could see better, I wasn't really sure what to think, there were four instruments but Danny and Dougie were only two. Maybe there was another act playing that I didn't know about, I thought as I sat back down a bit, not being able to hide my disappointment.

It only lasted a few seconds though, as the music got louder and spread through the room I slowly lifted my head. The stage was still unlit but you could make out the four people standing there. I listened to the beat along with the guitars and realised that it sounded familiar, like the kind of song that you could follow the beat to without trouble and more or less sing along to the words.

Not that I had heard any words yet, but still. I knew it.

Suddenly Danny's voice came over the speakers. God he sounded good. I mean, I had heard him sing before, but there was something about a real club, and proper speakers that just made his voice stand out so much more. The lights turned up and the people on stage were suddenly illuminated.

I could see Danny in the centre and Dougie next to him.

What surprised me more was the other two though. I didn't even have to lean closer to make out Tom on the second guitar and a grinning Harry behind the drumset.

As they reached the chorus, with Tom and Dougie singing too, the crowd was going wild. If I wasn't mistaken there were even a few people singing along, proving that they were apparently bigger than I had thought.

They finished the first song and Danny made some lame attempt at talking to the audience, but only got to say a few words before Tom and Dougie cut him off simultaneously. Danny just shrugged and let out a chuckle, as always, and I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face. All this time, and they were still the same.

I watched them together, the smile on his face when he played, the look of sheer concentration on his face, eyes closed, so completely into the music. Suddenly, I wasn't nervous anymore. It was Doug. My Doug and as long as he was happy I was happy.

Kind of. I knew he wasn't mine. But for a few blissful seconds I allowed my mind to wander and I let myself hope, and I was happy too.

…

After they finished the first set and walked off stage I returned my focus to the bar and my newly acquired drink. As I played with my drink-stick, I mean, who doesn't?, I let my mind wander again. I was completely amazed at how one so seemingly small thing could stay with you for such a long time. Or, maybe I shouldn't call it small, I'd be lying to myself, there was nothing small about Dougie (and I don't mean that the way it sounded)… I'm talking about feelings, duh.

Seeing him here tonight brought everything back and whether I wanted to or not, I realised that I was going to have to deal with it. I had kept it in the back of my mind for so long, not allowing myself to even think about it, but suddenly it was all catching up with me, the only difference though, was that this time I couldn't run away.

…

'Sam!' I suddenly heard someone say and before I knew it I was picked up from the stool and engulfed in an enormous bear hug. I managed to squirm my way around and came face to face with a grinning Danny.

'You could say hi you know' I said with a smile as I gave him a light peck on the cheek 'Like a normal person'

'I'm not normal though' he laughed as he put me down again.

'Yeah, forgot about that' I agreed with a giggle 'So, It's been a while'

'A while? You could say that. I can't believe that you're here' Danny continued as he took a seat on the empty seat next to mine, and signalled the bartender for a drink.

I took a sip of my drink and watched Danny do the same with his beer before speaking again.

'You're the one who told me you were playing here tonight, remember?'

'Oh, right, forgot about that' he replied sheepishly 'Anyway, does Doug know you're here yet?'

'No' I said honestly 'I haven't really had the guts to find him yet. You haven't told him I was coming, have you?' I asked anxiously.

Danny shook his head 'Nope, no worries, your secret has been safe with me. I still don't get why you didn't want to tell him though'

'I just wanted to see him face to face you know. And, um…' I shook my head. 'I don't really know'

'I think that it's ok to not now' he said as he placed an arm around my shoulders 'You are planning to talk to him thought, aren't you?'

'Yeah. When I get rid of these nerves and start feeling like I won't throw up'

Danny laughed 'I see. After the second set then?'

I smiled back at him 'Something like that'

…

One drink and twenty minutes later I was getting just a little bit sick of myself and my nerves and before I had a chance to regret anything I stood up and walked over to the door that led to the backstage-area. I must have picked the right moment though since the door was currently unoccupied and I could slip through it without anyone noticing me.

As the door closed behind me I was suddenly surrounded by silence. The loud noise of the crowd outside seemed almost completely muffled by the heavy door, and for the first time in about an hour I could actually hear myself think.

The backstage-area was badly lit and, to be honest, rather musky and uninviting. Or, backstage might be a bit much, it wasn't really anything more than a room with a door leading onto the stage, but, to an aspiring musician I guess that this was what it was supposed to look like.

I walked down the hallway staying as far away from the black painted walls as possible. Not that I was squeamish or anything, but if the floor looked like it hadn't been cleaned for years I couldn't imagine the walls having such luck either. Great day to pick a white t-shirt Sam.

I was too focused on my own two feet when I suddenly bumped into someone. Startled I looked up, only to find Harry standing in front of me.

'Harry?!'

'Oh my god, Sam!'

'Hi' I said as I gave him a hug.

'Hi' he replied, the surprise still evident on his face. 'Wow, I did not expect to see you here, to say the least'

I shrugged, not really sure what to say to that 'Yeah, surprise'

'You coming in?' he asked and gestured to the door.

'Yeah, thanks'

'I still can't believe that you're actually here, it's been a long time, hasn't it?'. I'm sure he meant it as a simple innocent question but it was hard to miss just how fitting it was.

'I know, a whole year' I said as I looked around the crowded room. 'By the way, I didn't know you played drums' I continued with a smile.

'I didn't' he said with a modest shrug 'Dan and Doug were starting up the band, and they were actually serious about it, and needed a drummer and I thought I'd give it a go. At first it was just for fun you know, but then I got really into it and well… here I am.' He spread his arms wide with a smile. 'Besides, with them recruiting Tom aswell, being in a band with your best mates isn't such a bad way to spend your days.'

'I suppose not' I nodded. I suppose not, I repeated to myself as I watched Harry throw himself on the nearest couch.

'So, does Dougie know you're here?' Ok, so I knew it was coming, but for some reason I actually didn't see it coming right at that moment.

'Ehm… No'

'Oh' Harry replied simply.

I didn't have any time to ask him what he meant by 'Oh' though, since Tom chose that exact moment to walk through the door.

'Hey Harry, have you seen my white…Sam?' Tom stopped dead in his tracks when he finally noticed that there was someone else in the room.

'Hi Tom' I said with a pathetic little wave-thing.

If he was surprised to see me he hid it well, it only took a second for a huge grin to spread across his face. 'Sam, it's been ages, how have you been?'

'Good, I've been good'

'Wow, I can't believe you're actually here' He said with a chuckle that spread to Harry as soon as they looked at each other. 'Have you seen Dougie yet?'

'He doesn't know she's here' Harry answered before I had even opened my mouth.

'Oh' Tom said with a look that went from Harry and then to me, and then back to Harry again.

'Why does everyone keep saying "Oh" for? It's not that big of a deal'

'Whatever you say Sam' Tom and Harry giggled together.

'Oh shut up' I huffed as I took a seat on the couch farthest away from them, with my arms crossed in front of me. It's not that big of a deal, I repeated to myself, I hope.


	25. Chapter fifteen pt two

**My laptop crashed right in the beginning of writing this, so I had to resort to my old one, without spell-check. So I apologize for it being so crap, I have checked it as thoroughly as I can, but it's not perfect. Sorry, I do hope it's readable anyway. **

**Doug**

Still buzzing from our first set I was finding it hard to calm down. I was counting the minutes until we were going on again, and at that point I had walked up and down the hallway so many times that I was actually getting a bit dizzy. Deciding that I needed to relax for a while I took the others lead and walked into the room where I knew they'd already be lounging on the couches and playing videogames. Despite my urge to get back up to the stage I found myself not hating the idea of a game or two. And maybe even a beer.

I walked into the room and immediately spotted Harry and Tom sitting on one couch, beer in each hand, laughing about something apparently very funny. Danny was sitting on the couch next to them, or sitting was a bit much, more like lying bent over while laughing hysterically at something the person next to him just said. She had her head turned away from me but the second I lay eyes on her I stopped dead.

Realising that I had joined them their laughter died down, and, as if in slow-motion, everybody turned towards me. Everyone, including Sam.

The last person I ever expected to see was all of a sudden standing right in front of me.

My heart jumped straight into my throat, and despite being well aware of the fact that my chin was basically touching the floor I couldn't do anything but stare.

All the times over the past year that I had imagined seeing her again, in my mind it had been nothing like this. In my dreams I would have known what to say, and even if I didn't, at least I would have said something - anything - but never in my wildest fantasies did I imagine the urge to hold her in my arms again to be so strong.

All kinds of images raced through my mind at once. Memories of her smile and the little glint in her eyes, the way my skin burned every time she touched me. The feeling of her lips on mine…

You get the picture.

All that time, and I could still read her like a book. The way her shy smile betrayed every single emotion, how she all of a sudden didn't seem to know how to act or what to say. It was a very different Sam from the one I used to know, but, then again, this wasn't your everyday situation was it? Me, shell-shocked and staring and Sam shifting back and forth, as if debating whether to run away or stay put.

Suddenly Danny clasped his hands together, causing everyone to jump. 'So, this has been nice, but I reckon we have somewhere important to be' he said motioning for Harry and Tom to stand up. 'Later dudes'

I heard the door close behind them, a bit amazed at Danny. He'd never been one for taking a hint, but for once he got it and left us alone. Not that his leaving made me regain my speaking-abilities, but at least we were alone. That had to be something, right?

I continued to stare at her. At her white T-shirt and jeans, the same worn ones that she always used to wear whenever she was allowed to, and even though I'd seen her dressed like this so many times before, she still looked amazing. I didn't know if it was being outside school or just seeing her again, but the effect her being in front of me again was almost too much to take. A part of me wanted to run a way and deal with it for a while and then come back and actually have something to say, while the other, more prominent part of me wanted to, well, kiss her.

'You look different' I finally managed to say

'Thanks' she replied with an amused smile. 'I think'

'I mean, good I mean. You look good, great' I stumbled on my words feeling my face getting redder and redder by every syllable that came out of my mouth.

'Thanks' she replied ignoring my obvious discomfort. 'You look good too, you've grown your hair.'

I raised my hand subconsciously, running my fingers through my hair, in an, I suppose, awkward way of trying to steer my mind away from the fact that I still cared like hell if she liked it or not. 'Yeah I know'

'It's nice.'

'Thanks'

'So' I began, trying to figure out the best way to phrase the question we both wanted to ask.

'Why did you come here tonight? How did you even know where I was?'

'Oh' she replied with an insecure half-smile. 'Danny told me'

I'll admit that I thought I was prepared for almost anything, but it never crossed my mind that it could have been something so simple and, for a fragment of a second, so treacherous. 'Danny knew you were coming?'

'Please don't be angry at him, he's only known for about a week or so' Sam pleaded with me. 'I told him not to say anything'

'Ok...' I replied quietly not really knowing what to say to that. Not that I really thought about it, I was still pretty much stuck on the fact that it was Sam, standing right in front of me and I still didn't know why. I just wanted to know why.

'I'm sorry it took so long' she suddenly blurted out, effectively interrupting my inner rant. 'I tried for so long but I couldn't find you and then I tried to find Danny instead and you know, there are a lot of Danny Jones' in this country' Sam finished with a deep breath. 'I'm sorry'

'Um.' Did she just say what I think she said?

At this point my head was going in freaking circles. This was Sam, my Sam, standing right in front of me telling me that she came here looking for me and I still couldn't say a word. I had never expected to feel this much this quickly again, but then again, I had never gotten over her, had I? I'd spent every day the last year thinking that I saw her in the street, in the pub, everywhere, so I guess it shouldn't come as a surprise, but damn did I feel it. I felt it in every single fibre of my being. And I wasn't really sure what to do about it.

I could see it in her eyes, the hurt from me not saying anything in response, yet I didn't manage to do anything about it. If she only could have seen how much I was struggling, but then again why should she? She was the brave one, the one who quite obviously took a chance by coming here tonight and I couldn't even dignify her with a reply. Talk about feeling shitty.

'I guess I should get back out there, find a good spot and stuff.' Sam finally said with a disappointed sigh.

'Um...' I shamefully repeated.

'I'll see you later then?'

'Yeah.' Yeah? What the fuck Doug! Grow a pair why don't you... I've missed you, I tried to find you. One, two… eh, eight stupid words.

Eight stupid words that probably would have changed everything, I thought to myself as I watched Sam leave the room.

…


	26. The End

I'm done. God, it took me forever, but I finally did it. This one is dedicated to everyone of you guys who ever took the time to read this, despite the horrible grammar and spelling, and who kept coming back.

This one is for you, I hope you like it.

Xxx Sofie

**Sam**

I slammed my hands down on both sides of the sink, ignoring the sharp pain the impact caused. I stood with my eyes closed taking as many deep breaths as I could, trying furiously to calm down and not to break apart. Why was this affecting me so much? I knew it was Dougie and that we had all this history but I didn't think this would happen. This was not going the way I expected it too, I thought to myself as I wiped a stray tear from my eye as it threatened to fall. I let out a frustrated sigh. 'Stop behaving this way Sam!' I said to myself trying my hardest to actually believe the words. 'You knew this could happen, and I knew I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up…'

In midst of my speech I was interrupted by one of the cubical doors behind me opening and a girl my age walking out. I quickly stopped talking and stared at her through the mirror we were now both standing in front of.

'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to listen in' she said with an apologetical shrug as she opened her purse and fished out a lip-gloss that she expertly started to apply.

I let out a little chuckle. 'Don't worry about it, it's probably not the best place to talk to yourself'

She looked at me through the mirror. 'Are you ok?'

'I'll be fine' I lied. 'Just a guy.' It wasn't just a guy though, and the turmoil I was feeling inside was making that painfully clear.

'It gets better with time' she said with a smile before she walked out of the room, leaving me alone with the mirror once again.

After a few more wallowing seconds I decided that I was calm enough, and the bathroom empty enough, to give myself a little pep-talk.

'Get a grip. Go out there and enjoy the music. And if he doesn't say anything other than "um" feel free to kick him where it hurts.'

I forced a smile on my face and walked back out into the club where I immediately spotted Danny standing by the bar.

'Hi friend'

His face lit up as I took a seat next to him. 'Hello love' he said, a small frown suddenly replacing the previous smile. 'What's wrong?'

'Nothing'

He shot me a look over his beer. 'Yeah right, sometimes you forget that I know you Sammy. I take it things didn't go as planned with Dougie'

I simply shrugged in response.

'Ok, I won't say another word about it' Danny said with a smile as he put his arm over my shoulder. 'Drink?'

I took the drink that he offered me with a thankful smile. 'How's the love-life these days then?'

'I can't complain'

I shook my head at him and put on my best Danny voice before replying. 'Yeah right, sometimes you forget that I know you Danny'

'Touché' he chuckled. 'So… how is she?'

'Good.' I paused slightly. 'And I think she'd love to hear from you, if that's what you're asking.'

'I wasn't asking, I might have been thinking it yes, but I didn't ask' he replied, his voice slightly muffled by his glass.

'You don't have to be so macho all the time you know'

'Macho? Me!? I'm like super-sensitive' he replied with a smirk.

'You're such a girl'

'Tell me about it'

We sat in silence for a few minutes, both quite aware of what had just been said, but the smile that crept onto Danny's lips as he absent-mindedly stared into his beer soon spread to me as well. Maybe a year wasn't that long after all.

'So' I finally began looking around the room 'You sure have a lot of female fans'

Danny shot me a knowing look before answering. 'He never stopped talking about you, you know'

'Uh… That's not what I…' I stammered, unable to hide the red tinting my cheeks.

He didn't seem to notice though, or he did a hell of a good job ignoring it.

'You haven't noticed that 90 percent of our songs are about not being with the one you love?'

'Um…' I replied, sticking to the winning formula of stammering.

'He's not very subtle these days' Danny said with a chuckle as he downed the rest of his beer. 'I'll see you later then?' he continued, as much a question as a statement.

'Yep' I nodded 'See you later.'

**Dougie**

_Do you think it's possible to dream and to have it be so vivid that when you wake up you actually believe that it was real? Do you believe that when that dream, that has lingered in your head every second since, actually starts to happen – that you knew it was going to? Or were you just that lucky that the one thing you wished for more than anything came true?_

You know all that stuff about coming to terms with loosing Sam, how I was coping and being ok with it?

Yeah, I might have been lying. A teeny tiny bit.

I'll admit that it took me a while to realise. I guess I got so caught up in not wanting to care that I actually believed that I didn't. And then, smack, I open my eyes one day and realise that I don't want to spend another day without her.

After that little revelation it took me one day of walking around debating the insanity of what I wanted to do, the pro's and con's, if it was even possible, before realising that I was already doing it. I had woken up wanting Sam back and that didn't change.

And then a year had gone by. A whole year and somehow I had managed without her. Don't ask me how though, because I have no freaking clue. All I know is that I wanted her back, and I tried to find her for a really long time, but then somewhere along the way, I guess I just gave up.

At least on the outside. Standing on stage that night, knowing that Sam was only a few feet away from me, every single fibre in my being was making it pretty clear that I had never given up where it truly mattered.

…

I was sitting on one of the couches in the backroom when Sam and Danny came walking through the door. They were happily chatting about something I couldn't quite make out but seeing them together like that, it amazed me how at ease they were with each other.

Sam noticed me watching her and for a brief moment our eyes met and everything that lay between us suddenly seemed to have vanished. I wasn't sure if it was only me, or if she had felt it too, but it was enough for me to make a decision.

'You really think I should go for it?' I heard Danny ask Sam as I walked up to them.

'I've already told you like five times Dan, yes you should'

'But…'

'No buts' she replied sternly before turning towards me. 'Don't you think he should go for it?'

Slightly taken aback at first I didn't know what to do but I quickly regained my composure 'Of course you should' I replied facing Danny. 'Go for it'

'Alright, alright, no need to gang up on me.' His eyes were shifting from me to Sam, something that the both of us seemed to notice, but choosing to do nothing about. Sam simply laughed at the look on his face and I, well, I was too busy staring at her again.

If she was hurt from my lack of replies before she sure as hell wasn't showing it. The thought of Sam being more of a man that I was actually managed to put a smile on my face, a smile which Danny of course noticed immediately.

'What are you smiling about?'

'Nothing' I said with a shrug before facing Sam instead. 'Want to get some coffee?'

'You drink coffee?' I couldn't tell whether she was more surprised by the coffee or by the fact that I was actually talking to her, but she didn't do anything about it, other than look at me a bit more intently than before.

'Yup'

'Wow, all grown up' she replied with a smile, her genuine one complete with the eye-twinkle I used to call my own, as she took a step towards me. 'I'd love to'

Right there and then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I had missed her so bad. All the small things (no pun intended), like our conversations and midnight-walks. Like the way she would put her arms around me when we slept, as if she was afraid that I would leave her if she didn't hold on. Not that we got the chance to do it that often, but those few times were enough to make me want it forever. And the thought of never having that again was the one thing that had made the past year unbearable.

Seeing Sam again like this wasn't all I had imagined it to be. It wasn't some miracle-fix, like in the movies where you meet again and everything is perfect straight away, I was finally forced to let go of all my delusions and realise that real life isn't as simple as that. It never is.

A year was a long time after all.

…

It was chilly outside but Sam didn't seem to mind. The debate of whether to sit inside the coffee shop our go for a walk was cut short by her simply refusing to sit down.

As we walked in silence I realised that nothing between us felt forced anymore. It was ok not to talk for a few minutes, almost relaxing even, and I had a feeling Sam was feeling the same way.

'Did you ever think that we'd end up here?' Sam asked me as we stood side by side staring out at the black water of the Thames running beneath us.

I turned towards her, tilting my head slightly to the side. 'What do you mean? Here as is here in London or here as in here not together?'

'Not together'

'I don't know, back then it was always so easy'

She looked at me with big eyes unable to hide the smile that spread across her lips.

'Ok, ok' I said with a snicker. 'Not easy, but simple. We were in love and that was all that mattered. In a way I don't think I thought too much about the future, I just assumed things would always remain the way they were'

'In our own little bubble' she responded thoughtfully.

'Yeah, I suppose so. Did you?'

She gave me a soft smile. 'Kind of. I mean, not the not together part, that was never part of the plan, but I thought about it and hoped that we'd make it through. Fantasies you know, dreams.'

'Really?' I asked genuinely surprised.

'Yeah, I daydream a lot, In case you haven't noticed'

'Really?' I repeated. 'Like what?'

A light blush spread across her cheeks, but her eyes never left mine. 'You know, the usual running away stuff, changing the school rules, things like that'

'Did you really think about running away?'

'Yeah'

'Me too' she seemed surprised by my answer but she didn't say anything. Instead she motioned for me to walk again before she spoke.

'It's kind of funny when you think about it, that's kind of what we did, but on our own.' She shot me a sideways smile 'I take it you don't work for your dad'

I grinned back at her. 'Not exactly. And you're not, eh, whatever your mum wanted you to be?'

She laughed out loud. 'Not really. Not that I ever quite understood what she wanted, but, whatever'

'Yeah, she was charming woman'

We looked at each other before the laughter took over once again.

'How did you get away from her then?' I asked after calming down slightly.

'I just left, kind of, me and dad kind of came to our senses at about the same time I think'

'So they've split up?'

'Yup'. I thought I saw a trace of something in her face, but as soon as it was there it was gone again. I decided not to follow up on it, sensing that maybe it was for the best.

'I'm sorry'

'Don't be, it's for the best, trust me' she laughed as she dug her hands into the pockets of her jeans and shrugged.

I followed suit and changed the topic. 'On a lighter note maybe, what are you doing otherwise these days, besides stalking me that is?'

I didn't even have a chance to react as she quickly punched me in the arm.

'Ouch' I said feigning hurt.

'Don't be such a girl'

Before I knew it we were laughing like old times again, minus the kissing of course, but still, it was almost like nothing had happened between us.

'I was just kidding. But, seriously'

'Seriously' she said trying her best to copy my voice. 'Not much. I've been travelling for a few months.'

'Months? How'd you afford that?'

She cocked an eyebrow at me. 'Didn't I tell you? My father is worth a lot of money' she gave a laugh, a small one, but genuine and from her heart. 'I'm a rich girl'

'I thought your parents wouldn't pay for school?' I replied shocked.

'Correction, my mum wouldn't pay, this was my dads' decision, and it's his money after all'

'But…'

'Has anyone ever told you that you talk to mu…'her hand stopped midair but not before both of us realised what she was about to do, and suddenly we were back in present time again.

It was another few minutes of silence walking before Sam spoke again. 'You're really serious about this music thing then? This club is pretty cool.'

'Yeah' I replied with a shy smile. 'Tom has connections.'

'Settled for the base then?'

'Yeah'

'I always knew you liked it better.'

I smiled at her, but I couldn't manage any actual words. At that point I was aching to grab her hand and hold her in my arms. All this talking and being close to her again was doing things to my head and slowly but surely driving me towards, well, something I wasn't sure I should let happen.

'Are you serious about the band and stuff?' Sam continued, apparently not noticing how deep into my own thoughts I had sunk.

'Yeah, I mean, I know it's hard and everything but I love it, we love it'

'How'd your dad take it?

'Bad I think' I laughed. 'I just upped and left really, Alex told me he was quite pissed and he took away my trust fund and everything but I don't really care anymore.'

'I admire that' she said with a smile 'It takes courage to do something like that'

'Thanks' I said honestly. 'So, here we are' I continued dramatically, spreading my arms wide 'two runaways, out on the streets.'

Sam let out a loud snicker. 'God, it sounds so bad when you put it like that.'

'I don't know it kind of makes me feel like a pirate.'

'A pirate?' She asked with confusion etched all over her face. 'How?'

I shrugged helplessly. 'Dunno, just do.'

'At least you haven't gotten any less weird' she said with a nod. 'Good on ya mate.'

'It takes one to know one' I said with a knowing look that she returned with a warm laugh.

I watched the smile fade from her face until only the slightest hint of it lingered on her lips. She remained silent for a few seconds.

'Why didn't you try to find me?' she said, so softly that I barely heard her.

I looked at her and suddenly noticed that instead of the usual glint in her eyes there was sadness.

'But I did' I said loudly, finally finding my voice. 'I tried for so long and then I finally got hold of your mother and she told me that she'd tell you that I called and…well, you never did'

'She never. I mean, I never…I didn't know' she stumbled on her words, and I could see how important it was for her that I knew that.

'Yeah' I said with a sigh. 'I get that now'. For the fist time that night I felt like we had let go of whatever walls that had been between us and were finally able to speak freely, no matter the consequences. 'Why did you keep trying then? I mean, it's been a year, why didn't you give up?'

Sam replied almost instantly, but she seemed to be talking more to herself than to me. 'I tried to get over it, us, for so long, especially when I didn't hear from you but I just, I don't know, I wanted to see you and see if it was still there or if it was just me, in my head'

"Did she just say what I think she said?"

Months of uncertainty and unanswered questions swarmed my head and not for the first time that night I had slight difficulty breathing. What do I say to that? Should I admit that I still think about her every minute of the day, that it only took me a second to get over the hurt from her not calling me back and hope again? Or do I let the year that has come between us remain there?

Do I tell her that just by looking into my eyes she makes my heart beat faster? I honestly thought that I was getting over her and just like that I realised that I wasn't and even more important, that I didn't want to be.

Was it possible to put the last year behind us and just pick up where we left off? Or was there too much, were we two different people now? Or will… Ok, just shut up now Dougie.

I took a step towards her and before she even had a chance to react I placed my hands on her face and bent down and kissed her. I felt Sam tense up when I touched her but the moment our lips touched she relaxed and kissed me back with such fire that it nearly knocked me over.

My arms automatically found their way around her waist and when she placed her hands at the back of my neck, pulling me even closer, I knew that I had made the right decision.

I gave her one last peck before pulling away slightly. I was dizzy and out of breath but the feeling of Sam leaning her head against my chest was overpowering to all of that. After a few seconds she lifted her head and looked up at me. We looked at each other, a small smile playing on both of our faces and suddenly it was like no time had passed between us. Rewind 365 days and you'd find us in exactly the same position. There was one difference though, I was pretty sure it wouldn't have felt this good a year ago.

During the short walk back to the club neither of us spoke. The wordless communication we had been so good at had somehow reinstated its hold or maybe we were both to happy to say anything at all, I didn't really care, it was nice.

'Isn't it weird that we can do this' Sam finally said looking down at our entwined hands. 'Holding hands and not having to worry about anyone.'

'It feels pretty damn good if I can say so myself.'

'I think you can say so yourself'

I smirked at her. 'Good'

…

After saying goodbye to the guys we made out way outside again only to stop at the entrance. The rain that had been threatening to fall all night was going strong.

'It's raining' I said looking up at the sky.

'Yeah, so?' Sam replied as she stepped of the curb and out onto the street. 'That's never stopped us before.'

It only took me a second before I stepped out with her and turned my face towards the sky, feeling the tingling sensation of raindrops as they hit my skin. I heard Sam giggle next to me, and when I looked over I saw her standing in the same position that I was. I watched her for a few seconds before moving so that I was standing in front of her.

It took her a moment or two to realise that I had moved, but as soon as she did it was like nothing else mattered. It had been a year since the last time, but the feeling was still the same.

Her skin still felt the same under my touch, our two bodies still fit together like they were never meant to do anything else, her lips that softly collided with mine still sent the same shivers through my body and I still felt like the luckiest person alive to be able to hold her in my arms.

We broke away from the kiss but kept our eyes firmly fixed on the others. There was a lot unsaid between us and we both knew it but right there and then wasn't the place for that. All in good time or whatever you say. Together we turned towards the road again.

'Shall we?' I asked her motioning to the road stretching out in front of us.

'Do you even have to ask?'

And that's where we are now. I grab Sam's hand in mine, knowing in my heart, that I will never let it go again.

_The End_

_…_

_'Fairtytale endings are hard to come by in real life...But sometimes, just sometimes, they do come true'_


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